If Ali Larter did not like me I would order the Secret Service to pimp for me, and get impeached, so someone better would get the job. But, first I would make the courts work for me like they work for asshole corporate welfare queens and garnish the accounts of every single executive officer and employee of Bank of America until they could not feed their dogs and their significant others threaten suicide. I would tell them in writing according to court order that if they put more money in the bank than they owed they could eat, it would be a bald faced lie. Also, all the usurers who think a National Treasure Sweepstakes hidden in the attic is funny would be sent to Guantánamo Bay, for their years of unrelenting terrorism of those who fell on bad times, and I would tell the Muslims what they are, then I would close Guantánamo Bay by letting all the Muslims out and leaving; the sight of usurers running for their lives with Muslims chasing them with swords brings tears to my eyes.
Let’s see, what else...
Eliminate capital gains taxes, in keeping with my picture on JFK‘s coin.
If any so-called rich person so much as said, “fair tax,” I would amend the Constitution--like all presidential politicians say they will do something that is not in their job description--and tax the rich ****ing bastards according to their Net Worth at a flat percentage until their butts were red.
Have a public works project for clean domestic energy production to make us energy independent, haven’t got a clue what is best but what the hell; give a man a foreign source of energy, like amber trade, feed his enemies every day, teach a man to make domestic power, feed him for a lifetime. If Congress would not go along, like all presidential politicians say they will do something that is not in their job description, I would make them, and pack the court to make it legal.
Don’t you know it is the end of the world?