View Poll Results: Should birth records be open to adopted children

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  • Yes

    9 42.86%
  • No

    2 9.52%
  • Depends on the circumstances

    9 42.86%
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    1 4.76%
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Thread: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

  1. #21
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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by independent_thinker2002 View Post
    They gave up their right to privacy when they fornicated. Let them get a restraining order if the first meeting doesn't go well.
    Oh, and where in the Constitution does this "giving up their right to privacy" appear? I just don't see it, maybe you can point it out to me.
    There is nothing demonstrably true that religion can provide the world that cannot be achieved more rationally through entirely secular means.

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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cephus View Post
    Oh, and where in the Constitution does this "giving up their right to privacy" appear? I just don't see it, maybe you can point it out to me.
    You realize that the Constitution only protects citizens from the government intruding on rights don't you?
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  3. #23
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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by independent_thinker2002 View Post
    You realize that the Constitution only protects citizens from the government intruding on rights don't you?
    Ah, so private citizens can intrude on another private citizen's rights to, say... property, huh? It's not the government doing the intruding...
    There is nothing demonstrably true that religion can provide the world that cannot be achieved more rationally through entirely secular means.

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  4. #24
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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cephus View Post
    Ah, so private citizens can intrude on another private citizen's rights to, say... property, huh? It's not the government doing the intruding...
    It depends on the situation, but yes. That can happen.

    Civil lawsuits being an example.
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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cephus View Post
    Ah, so private citizens can intrude on another private citizen's rights to, say... property, huh? It's not the government doing the intruding...
    Where does The Constitution say "thou shall not trespass"? You brought up The Constitution.
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  6. #26
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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by independent_thinker2002 View Post
    They gave up their right to privacy when they fornicated. Let them get a restraining order if the first meeting doesn't go well.
    With the anger you show toward your birth parents, I'm pretty sure that any reconnection would go badly. Why do you resent them so much? Your birth mother gave you up most likely so that you could have a better life than she could provide, or because she was too young to be a responsible parent. You sound as if you hate her, and are just itching for the opportunity to tell her to her face. That's really sad.

  7. #27
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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by DiAnna View Post
    With the anger you show toward your birth parents, I'm pretty sure that any reconnection would go badly. Why do you resent them so much? Your birth mother gave you up most likely so that you could have a better life than she could provide, or because she was too young to be a responsible parent. You sound as if you hate her, and are just itching for the opportunity to tell her to her face. That's really sad.
    I think you are misinterpreting my thoughts regarding my personal situation. My wife does geneology. I could find my egg and sperm donors if I so desired. I'm sure my egg donor did give me up for a better life for me. I don't resent that. I have curiousity about blood siblings moreso than birth parents. If I wanted to find out, I could. I'm more worried about them not leaving me alone if I don't care for their company. I'm not bitter. I don't need extra X-mas cards. It would be interesting to meet them. I don't know them though to have an opinion either way.

    But, donors that give up kids for unselfish reasons don't really have to worry about their privacy. It's the ones that give up kids for selfish reasons that I hold no quarter for. I see these people as hiding from their guilt. Boo hoo. It's been known for eternity that sex may lead to pregnancy. They got out of raising their offspring. The least they could do is give someone some explanation.

    Who is ever really ready for a child?
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  8. #28
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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by independent_thinker2002 View Post
    I think you are misinterpreting my thoughts regarding my personal situation. My wife does geneology. I could find my egg and sperm donors if I so desired. I'm sure my egg donor did give me up for a better life for me. I don't resent that. I have curiousity about blood siblings moreso than birth parents. If I wanted to find out, I could. I'm more worried about them not leaving me alone if I don't care for their company. I'm not bitter. I don't need extra X-mas cards. It would be interesting to meet them. I don't know them though to have an opinion either way.

    But, donors that give up kids for unselfish reasons don't really have to worry about their privacy. It's the ones that give up kids for selfish reasons that I hold no quarter for. I see these people as hiding from their guilt. Boo hoo. It's been known for eternity that sex may lead to pregnancy. They got out of raising their offspring. The least they could do is give someone some explanation.

    Who is ever really ready for a child?
    You say you're not bitter... but you sure sound bitter. I've known a couple of women who gave up their babies at birth. One of them never regretted it. She was on her way to college (actually, she was still in high school), wasn't ready to have a child, but didn't believe in abortion. She'd probably be one of those "selfish reasons" you elude to. I don't think she'd appreciate being called selfish because she wasn't financially or emotionally ready to raise a baby, but if her child wanted to hunt her up just to punish her with withering words, I'm the desired result would be achieved. She'd be deeply hurt and emotionally devasted.

    The other simply couldn't bear to see the face of her rapist in a child. Showing up on her front door would probably send her into an emotional meltdown... and really, what child wants to know that it is the product of a violent rape? Some things should be left alone, you know?

    If the parents want to find children given up for adoption, there are plenty of places they can register as willing. If they don't, they deserve the privacy they were promised, not an unwilling yank back to the bleakest time of their lives.
    Last edited by DiAnna; 12-22-08 at 09:27 PM.

  9. #29
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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by independent_thinker2002 View Post
    It's been known for eternity that sex may lead to pregnancy.
    Ohhh, not the, "if you don't want kids, don't have sex" sermon.

    If this was such a perfect world we wouldn't need contraception or adoption to begin with. We could all click our heels together and wish our perfect dream life to correct its course when it takes the wrong fork in the road. However....

    They got out of raising their offspring. The least they could do is give someone some explanation.
    That would certainly help to erode the "anonymous" status, doncha think?

    Who is ever really ready for a child?
    Lots of people. Do you seriously believe this is such a black and white issue? Haven't you ever seen parents who, when you look at their innocent kids, make you think, "Those kids would be better off with someone else!"?

    I'm more worried about them not leaving me alone if I don't care for their company.
    I would suggest that, with your obvious resentment towards your situation, it would not be a good idea to seek out your "donors", as you call them. But, then again, maybe it would be therapeutic.
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  10. #30
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    Re: Should birth records be available to adopted children?

    Quote Originally Posted by DiAnna View Post
    You say you're not bitter... but you sure sound bitter.
    About my personal situation I'm not bitter. But yes, when people shirk personal responsibility it chafes my ass. I'm not upset they gave up kids for adoption. People who don't want kids make for ****ty parents. My problem is that they think they don't at least owe them a conversation about why they gave them up. It's not like it costs them anything.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiAnna View Post
    I've known a couple of women who gave up their babies at birth. One of them never regretted it. She was on her way to college (actually, she was still in high school), wasn't ready to have a child, but didn't believe in abortion. She'd probably be one of those "selfish reasons" you elude to. I don't think she'd appreciate being called selfish because she wasn't financially or emotionally ready to raise a baby, but if her child wanted to hunt her up just to punish her with withering words, I'm the desired result would be achieved. She'd be deeply hurt and emotionally devasted.
    No, I wouldn't call that a selfish reason. I'm talking about people that make that decision because it would interfere with their social lifestyle, i.e. partying.

    If the child was put in a better situation, they wouldn't hunt anyone down to punish with withering words. They probably have questions.

    If the child was put in a bad situation, they may be upset. But that's the risk a donor took for their child. An uncomfortable conversation isn't that big of a trade off for not having to make 18 years of sacrifice.

    A child can't give up their rights to their biological history.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiAnna View Post
    The other simply couldn't bear to see the face of her rapist in a child. Showing up on her front door would probably send her into an emotional meltdown... and really, what child wants to know that it is the product of a violent rape? Some things should be left alone, you know?
    I understand her giving up the child. I would want to know if I was the product of a violent rape. I might have been. I'll never know probably. I believe the truth is not damaging. It's just the truth. I prefer to live in reality and not some fantasy. Maybe I am emotionally strong. Maybe that's why.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiAnna View Post
    If the parents want to find children given up for adoption, there are plenty of places they can register as willing. If they don't, they deserve the privacy they were promised, not an unwilling yank back to the bleakest time of their lives.
    I think the kids should have more privacy. What if they don't know? That would be quite a shock. People get reminded of bleak times all the time. Are the people you know that emotionally fragile? People can handle a lot more than they realize. In such a religious culture I find it telling that people think God would throw something at them that they couldn't handle.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry
    The Amish are light-years ahead of the rest of the human race.



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