View Poll Results: Would you allow gay people to adopt?

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Thread: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

  1. #111
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    Quote Originally Posted by Korimyr the Rat View Post
    Thousands of years? Try decades. Thousands of years ago, young couples were expected to move into either the husband's parents' house, or the wife's parents', depending on culture. Children were raised not by their parents, but by their extended family.

    The "nuclear family" is a product of the Industrial Revolution, in which young men and women moved into cities, away from their relatives, to find work.
    Yeah, thousands of years. At the very least, hundreds of years.

    History
    During 17th and 18th century, the nuclear family became a pronounced feature in Western Europe


    Nuclear family - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


    Let's just look at what a "Family" is:

    Family
    Family denotes a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity or co-residence.


    Family - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



    BUT... really now, a Nuclear Family is really just a FAMILY that we have tried to micro-define.
    It is still the model of a Traditional Family... a Family that has been in existence for thousands of years.


    nuclear family

    noun
    a family consisting of parents and their children and grandparents of a marital partner


    - WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University

    I agree that the term "Nuclear Family" is best described as a modern post Industrial Revolution model, but the Nuclear Family as a model has been around for thousands of years. Today, though, we think that the Nuclear Family means that the kids move out after college and that they start their own family and that is that. This is not the case. Millions of kids, even after they are married, live with their parents. Happens all the time, upper middle class too, that is where I was raised.

    Extended Family can be part of it, though most definitions separate the two.

    extended family

    noun
    a family consisting of the nuclear family and their blood relatives


    - WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University

    ...though you can see that they are very close indeed, I am not going to argue semantics here... the fact is that a Mother, a Father, Children, and in many cases, Grandparents make up a "Traditional Family".


    Conjugal family
    A conjugal family consists of one or more mothers and their children, and/or one or more spouses, usually husbands. The most common form of this family is regularly referred to as a nuclear family.


    Family - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


    conjugal family

    noun
    a family consisting of parents and their children and grandparents of a marital partner [syn: nuclear family]


    - WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University


    ALL of these pertain to "Traditional"...

    traditional   Show Spelled Pronunciation [truh-dish-uh-nl] Show IPA Pronunciation

    –adjective
    1. of or pertaining to tradition.
    2. handed down by tradition.
    3. in accordance with tradition


    traditional definition | Dictionary.com


    Wessexman gets what I am saying easily enough:

    Wessexman
    The Nuclear family is the remaining core of what was once a usually extensive kinship grouping. Most of that however has been worn down until all that is left is the Nuclear family. In that sense it has long been around, it was just a lot better supported in centuries past and part of a complex kinship grouping.


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  2. #112
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    I know this is late to the debate but I don't care.

    Personally I'm torn on the matter. On the one hand if they love each other and are good parents I have no problem with that, just like a straight couple should be to adopt.

    But this is my problem, when the kid goes to school. Right now I'm in High School, and I can tell you that any kid who has gay parents will get ripped on horribly. They would constantly get made fun of and they could become a social outcast. Now putting a kid through that isn't good. But then again a kid can get made fun of for many reasons, not just that.

    So as of now I'm torn on the issue, i can't say yes or no.
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    Quote Originally Posted by partier9 View Post
    I know this is late to the debate but I don't care.

    Personally I'm torn on the matter. On the one hand if they love each other and are good parents I have no problem with that, just like a straight couple should be to adopt.

    But this is my problem, when the kid goes to school. Right now I'm in High School, and I can tell you that any kid who has gay parents will get ripped on horribly. They would constantly get made fun of and they could become a social outcast. Now putting a kid through that isn't good. But then again a kid can get made fun of for many reasons, not just that.

    So as of now I'm torn on the issue, i can't say yes or no.
    A fair enough post and one focused upon the children, not political correctness. These aren't easy issues because questions about what is best for a child often aren't. Decisions about children should never be stuck in the politics or platitudes of the moment.

    PS... interesting avatar selection.
    Last edited by Bonnie1988; 12-19-08 at 12:47 AM.

  4. #114
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    Quote Originally Posted by partier9 View Post
    I know this is late to the debate but I don't care.

    Personally I'm torn on the matter. On the one hand if they love each other and are good parents I have no problem with that, just like a straight couple should be to adopt.

    But this is my problem, when the kid goes to school. Right now I'm in High School, and I can tell you that any kid who has gay parents will get ripped on horribly. They would constantly get made fun of and they could become a social outcast. Now putting a kid through that isn't good. But then again a kid can get made fun of for many reasons, not just that.

    So as of now I'm torn on the issue, i can't say yes or no.
    I'm curious. Are there any kids in your school that have gay parents and are they made fun of? I have worked with at least half a dozen kids, males and females, who had gay parents (and were open about it) and none of them were ever made fun of. The literature doesn't support that argument either. Just curious if your experience is different.
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  5. #115
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    I always hate when poll questions are the exact opposite of the thread title. Sure I could read, but that takes time.

    Anyway, I don't care if gay people adopt. A happy home is a happy home and we've plenty of orphans to go around. I guarantee that a gay family is much better for a child than the State.
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  6. #116
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainCourtesy View Post
    I'm curious. Are there any kids in your school that have gay parents and are they made fun of? I have worked with at least half a dozen kids, males and females, who had gay parents (and were open about it) and none of them were ever made fun of. The literature doesn't support that argument either. Just curious if your experience is different.
    Yes I have known kids who have gay parents but in NH it is not as common as it is in other parts of the country, so that may have something to do with it but I don't know.

    I have known two kids who's adopted parents were gay and a friend of mine knew another quite well. In my experience a kid or person in school is judged by how they act most of the time. Now one of the kids I knew wasn't really made fun of that much, but any jest or insult made toward her was about parents. But overall she wasn't really made fun of that much, she was made fun just as much as every one else was.

    Now the other kid I knew was a few years younger than me and went to my old summer camp. He was a loner, and was made fun of many things including his two mothers. Now how much that effected him I don't know but still it was pretty common that he was made fun of for that.

    But the boy my friend knew is probably the strongest impact of what I have seen or heard about being made fun of. Now my friend lives in Mass so I don't see him that often but every once and a while I do. Anyways when he was in 3rd or 4th grade a this boy moved to his school, from out of state. When the school found out that he had two parents they sent out a memo to all the parents about his family. Now of course at that age none or very few kids knew what lesbians were, many kids just thought he had a mom and a step mom and didn't see the difference. Now when the kids at my friends school started to realize that he only had two moms and no dads, they thought that was weird, and in turn he was weird. So he never really fit in with the kids, and he was sort of an outcast. And then a few years later he moved.
    Last edited by partier9; 12-19-08 at 05:24 PM.
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  7. #117
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ikari View Post
    I always hate when poll questions are the exact opposite of the thread title. Sure I could read, but that takes time.
    Yikes, I didn't even notice that. I just assumed it would be the same.

  8. #118
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    I am coming to the thread late but in my opinion, diversity is a good thing if it raises postive qualities of excellence, creativity, innovation, broadened horizons, better ideas, and/or enhancement of the culture. Othrwise it is highly overrated and should be discouraged when it lowers standards, reduces innovation, causes lowered expectations and results, and/or is destructive to the culture.

    It makes no sense to discriminate when a person's age, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, country of origin etc. is not a factor in quality or results. But there are times when it does make sense to discriminate.

    You don't have the aptitude, intellect, interest, or preparation to be a rocket scientist? Cool. Then we'll probably discriminate and choose somebody who does for that role, but you probably are absolutely brilliant at other things. It makes no sense at all to lower the expectations and qualifications for excellence in rocket science in order to accommodate you. If there is no rocket scientist around when you have to have one, then and only then do you settle for the willing and don't worry so much about the able.

    I believe that statistics support and nobody will be able to show any broad or comprehensive study that will dispute that the traditional family with a competent mom and dad in the home raising the kids is the very best circumstance for children. That is their best shot at completing their education, their best chance at not growing up in poverty, their best opportunity to not get into trouble with the law or get trapped by booze or other drugs or in general to have a good chance to succeed in life. Communities with a strong base of traditional families invariably have a stronger economic base, lower crime, better schools, and less poverty.

    Does that mean single parents or gay parents can't do a great job of raising kids? Of course not. Many can and do. Sometimes that is absolutely the best option for a kid when a traditional family just isn't in the cards for him or her. Certainly a loving single or gay parent is preferable to kids being bounced around into foster home after foster home. I'm also not saying that all traditional families are good for kids either. Some aren't.

    But for the reason that I believe, all other factors being even, all kids, whether straight or gay, benefit from having a loving mom and dad in the home--something same-sex couples cannot provide--I would always give a qualified married man and woman first option to adopt.

    I checked "yes", gay people should be allowed to adopt on the poll. But I would have preferred an option that gay people (or single people) be allowed to adopt when there is no traditional family for that child.
    Last edited by AlbqOwl; 12-19-08 at 06:09 PM.
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    I believe that statistics support and nobody will be able to show any broad or comprehensive study that will dispute that the traditional family with a competent mom and dad in the home raising the kids is the very best circumstance for children.
    Utter malarkey.


    But for the reason that I believe, all other factors being even, all kids, whether straight or gay, benefit from having a loving mom and dad in the home--something same-sex couples cannot provide--I would always give a qualified married man and woman first option to adopt.

    I checked "yes", gay people should be allowed to adopt on the poll. But I would have preferred an option that gay people (or single people) be allowed to adopt when there is no traditional family for that child.
    In other words, gays should get the rejects, the leftovers, the leavings, the dregs, the scum, the bottom of the barrel: the children that no straight couple is willing to accept.
    You know, I'm sure they would, at that. And be happy to do so.
    Most gays are pretty open-minded and generous people.
    Last edited by 1069; 12-19-08 at 09:13 PM.

  10. #120
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    Re: Do you object to gay couples adopting?

    No. I do not object. I encourage it.

    I don't put it up there on the list as the optimum situation, but neither do I condemn it.

    Families come in all shapes and sizes these days. Any family is better than no family.

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