The past year has been a particularly contentious election cycle, culminating in a brutally contested election result with some claiming ballot box tampering on one side and up to three million illegally cast votes on the other. Therefore I have some modest proposals to increase the integrity of the electoral system in preparation for the upcoming 2018 election. All of these proposals would be specifically aimed to eliminate the possibility of illegal aliens or other non-US citizens from voting. Please read carefully and vote.
1. All people with firearms would need to supply certifications for newly performed Federal and State background checks. The certificates would need to be less than a week old in order to mitigate the chances that illegal aliens forged them so they could vote in the election. The newly performed checks would also have the bonus of catching felons with warrants for their arrest as well as finding and deporting illegal aliens before they even reached the polling stations.
2. All polling stations would be relocated to major urban centers so they would have full technical and emergency support. Rural areas frequently lack internet, phone, and police and medical access in the event of an emergency. This would, again, provide the opportunity catch illegal aliens who attempt to vote and throw the election toward their preferred candidate.
3. Voters over 69 are frequently using absentee ballots due to being too infirm to travel, but there's little way to make certain that these people are properly registered. Therefore, the city would provide free bussing to polling stations. All other necessary assistance would be provided free of charge.
4. Eliminate the military absentee ballot. In 2016 seventeen million non-US citizens voted illegally in the election using the military absentee ballot. This has effectively canceled out the votes of our brave and honorable servicemen. Instead of the absentee ballot, all servicemen would have one day to vote at a polling station in person while in rotation back to the United States.
5. Evangelical Protestant and Mormon churches as well as their attendees would need to supply proof of their 501(c)(3) status. Again, in order to prevent illegal immigrants from voting.
Source:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...graphic-groups-for-republicans-and-democrats/