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Teach your kids to punch back...

Is it OK to teach your kids to hit back?

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Bodi

Bodi

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Is it OK to teach your kids to hit back?

Most moms teach their children not to throw punches, even when they are angry. But are there instances in which it’s okay for your child to hit another child — such as when your child is being bullied?

That’s the question Victoria C. is posing on Circle of Moms. Her son was suspended from school for retaliating, with fists, against a classmate who'd been picking on him. “I don’t want my son known for fighting, but I also don’t want him [to be] known as the kid who gets pushed around,” she says, unsure whether she should condone or criticize her son’s behavior.
For most of our members, it goes without saying that children should be taught non-violent dispute resolution techniques. As Jennifer B. asserts, "If your child hits back, they are no better than the person bullying them."



Is it Ever Okay to Teach Your Child to Hit? | POPSUGAR Moms
 
I was raised to believe you handle bullies by fighting back. even knowing that losing is inevitable, bullies pick easy battles and will look for an easier target in the future.
 
Few things are more sacred than the right to self-defense, regardless of if you're thirty something or ten.

Also, most of these teachers are useless and don't care about bullied kids.
 
ARealConservative said:
I was raised to believe you handle bullies by fighting back. even knowing that losing is inevitable, bullies pick easy battles and will look for an easier target in the future.
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My daughter's and other kids at their school have been tormented by this slightly younger piece of utter dog **** for years. Timmy. Now that he is a bit older (9 or 10) he obviously hits harder and is more abusive. He spits in their faces, hits, kicks, throws things at their faces like pebbles or bark. I told my girls that they are 100% allowed to stop him in any way they see fit and I will defend them from their school forever,... well, Timmy starts hitting my 11 year old daughter and she grabs and holds his arms. Both my girls have taken a few years of jui-jitsu. The teacher gets my daughter in trouble. Nope. I am meeting with the principal, other parent and behavioral therapist tomorrow morning.
 
Van Basten said:
Few things are more sacred than the right to self-defense, regardless of if you're thirty something or ten.

Also, most of these teachers are useless and don't care about bullied kids.
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Most teachers are useless because it is a complicated issue... many have favorites too. But yo uare right, teachers, especially grade school ones, don't do much to help stop bullying but instead help create a tattle tale culture and secretive bullying culture.
 
I only got into one fight in high school. The kid hit me in the back of the head when we were going to lunch because I had taken a seat next to a girl he liked. I turned around and put my fist right into his nose and temple. He fell to the ground and i pinned him down as well as my friend until the proper people could come. Safe to say, he never came close to doing that again, and he actually shook my hand at graduation and told me to have a good life. If someone physically assaults you, you should have the right to defend yourself. I didn't continue to hit him when he was down, so I saw absolutely nothing wrong with what I did.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Is it OK to teach your kids to hit back?

Most moms teach their children not to throw punches, even when they are angry. But are there instances in which it’s okay for your child to hit another child — such as when your child is being bullied?

That’s the question Victoria C. is posing on Circle of Moms. Her son was suspended from school for retaliating, with fists, against a classmate who'd been picking on him. “I don’t want my son known for fighting, but I also don’t want him [to be] known as the kid who gets pushed around,” she says, unsure whether she should condone or criticize her son’s behavior.
For most of our members, it goes without saying that children should be taught non-violent dispute resolution techniques. As Jennifer B. asserts, "If your child hits back, they are no better than the person bullying them."



Is it Ever Okay to Teach Your Child to Hit? | POPSUGAR Moms
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Jennifer B is a tool. What a moron.
 
Bodhisattva said:
My daughter's and other kids at their school have been tormented by this slightly younger piece of utter dog **** for years. Timmy. Now that he is a bit older (9 or 10) he obviously hits harder and is more abusive. He spits in their faces, hits, kicks, throws things at their faces like pebbles or bark. I told my girls that they are 100% allowed to stop him in any way they see fit and I will defend them from their school forever,... well, Timmy starts hitting my 11 year old daughter and she grabs and holds his arms. Both my girls have taken a few years of jui-jitsu. The teacher gets my daughter in trouble. Nope. I am meeting with the principal, other parent and behavioral therapist tomorrow morning.
Click to expand...

What has the school done about Timmy?
If as you say he is a bully, hitting others, then other parents have complained.
If I was you I would look for other parents that have complained as it appears from your account the school is ignoring it
 
ajn678 said:
I only got into one fight in high school. The kid hit me in the back of the head when we were going to lunch because I had taken a seat next to a girl he liked. I turned around and put my fist right into his nose and temple. He fell to the ground and i pinned him down as well as my friend until the proper people could come. Safe to say, he never came close to doing that again, and he actually shook my hand at graduation and told me to have a good life. If someone physically assaults you, you should have the right to defend yourself. I didn't continue to hit him when he was down, so I saw absolutely nothing wrong with what I did.
Click to expand...

You have noble sentiments my friend. I am a put a boot to their ribs and keep cracking them till the object of my ire has stopped moving kind of guy. An example needs to be made so the next SOB knows exactly what will happen to themselves should they be stupid. I teach my children this. No quarter expected, none granted. Mercy comes only after the fight is over and done.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Is it OK to teach your kids to hit back?

Most moms teach their children not to throw punches, even when they are angry. But are there instances in which it’s okay for your child to hit another child — such as when your child is being bullied?

That’s the question Victoria C. is posing on Circle of Moms. Her son was suspended from school for retaliating, with fists, against a classmate who'd been picking on him. “I don’t want my son known for fighting, but I also don’t want him [to be] known as the kid who gets pushed around,” she says, unsure whether she should condone or criticize her son’s behavior.
For most of our members, it goes without saying that children should be taught non-violent dispute resolution techniques. As Jennifer B. asserts, "If your child hits back, they are no better than the person bullying them."



Is it Ever Okay to Teach Your Child to Hit? | POPSUGAR Moms
Click to expand...

It depends on many factors, not the least of which is your child - for children have different personalities, different emotional thresholds. You can't make a blanket statement for all kids.
 
Bodhisattva said:
My daughter's and other kids at their school have been tormented by this slightly younger piece of utter dog **** for years. Timmy. Now that he is a bit older (9 or 10) he obviously hits harder and is more abusive. He spits in their faces, hits, kicks, throws things at their faces like pebbles or bark. I told my girls that they are 100% allowed to stop him in any way they see fit and I will defend them from their school forever,... well, Timmy starts hitting my 11 year old daughter and she grabs and holds his arms. Both my girls have taken a few years of jui-jitsu. The teacher gets my daughter in trouble. Nope. I am meeting with the principal, other parent and behavioral therapist tomorrow morning.
Click to expand...
Your child was quite restrained. Mine would have left the bugger a bloody mess.

Behavioral Therapist?? What do they need that for?
 
JANFU said:
What has the school done about Timmy?
If as you say he is a bully, hitting others, then other parents have complained.
If I was you I would look for other parents that have complained as it appears from your account the school is ignoring it
Click to expand...

I am the first official complaint. Everybody knows about Timmy. We live in a very small town, barely a thousand people, who pretty much all know each other. If you say Timmy to most they roll their eyes. They know. Nobody does anything though. I am over it. The school has Timmy in a semi-special program but he is mainstreamed. He has a teacher assigned to him, the Deputy Principal, but she is not there 24/7 to watch him and even then he does stuff, although not nearly as much as before.
 
PirateMk1 said:
Your child was quite restrained. Mine would have left the bugger a bloody mess.

Behavioral Therapist?? What do they need that for?
Click to expand...

For the boy, not my girls. I told them to take the gloves off next time and let Timmy know what will happen if he continues acting like a little ****. I told me youngest to kick his ass if he does anything like that again and I will be telling the principal that I don't want anything to happen but that my girl has my permission to defend herself.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Is it OK to teach your kids to hit back?

Most moms teach their children not to throw punches, even when they are angry. But are there instances in which it’s okay for your child to hit another child — such as when your child is being bullied?

That’s the question Victoria C. is posing on Circle of Moms. Her son was suspended from school for retaliating, with fists, against a classmate who'd been picking on him. “I don’t want my son known for fighting, but I also don’t want him [to be] known as the kid who gets pushed around,” she says, unsure whether she should condone or criticize her son’s behavior.
For most of our members, it goes without saying that children should be taught non-violent dispute resolution techniques. As Jennifer B. asserts, "If your child hits back, they are no better than the person bullying them."



Is it Ever Okay to Teach Your Child to Hit? | POPSUGAR Moms
Click to expand...

Absolutely. Never the aggressor. Always the defender.

If I'd had kids, they'd have been enrolled in martial arts pretty early. They teach wonderful lessons there.
 
MaggieD said:
Absolutely. Never the aggressor. Always the defender.

If I'd had kids, they'd have been enrolled in martial arts pretty early. They teach wonderful lessons there.
Click to expand...

Yep. Mine took jui-jitsu. They stopped eventually but I still teach them some things from time to time...
 
There are other factors. Suspension, expulsion, fines, community service, your child facing police officers, DHS ect.

The reality of today's world is a fight between kids today is not the same as it was years ago. Schools can call the police and press charges on both kids, they can expel children for fighting. DHS can get involved. You child can be forced into anger management, therapy or even time in an institution for anger. Many parents take the stance of my kids will defend themselves. Then the parents are fighting DHS to keep custody and paying thousands in court fines. Their kids get labeled as aggressive. It goes on and on and on. I am not saying it is right, but it is reality.

Some may think those are pretty extreme but it is becoming more and more common for middle and high schools to notify the police department and let them deal with fights rather than dealing with it in school and/or with the parents. And that trend will continue.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Is it OK to teach your kids to hit back?

Most moms teach their children not to throw punches, even when they are angry. But are there instances in which it’s okay for your child to hit another child — such as when your child is being bullied?

That’s the question Victoria C. is posing on Circle of Moms. Her son was suspended from school for retaliating, with fists, against a classmate who'd been picking on him. “I don’t want my son known for fighting, but I also don’t want him [to be] known as the kid who gets pushed around,” she says, unsure whether she should condone or criticize her son’s behavior.
For most of our members, it goes without saying that children should be taught non-violent dispute resolution techniques. As Jennifer B. asserts, "If your child hits back, they are no better than the person bullying them."



Is it Ever Okay to Teach Your Child to Hit? | POPSUGAR Moms
Click to expand...

Yes, but be very careful what you teach them. In today's zero tolerance world you run an increased risk of landing your child in serious trouble.
 
Kreton said:
There are other factors. Suspension, expulsion, fines, community service, your child facing police officers, DHS ect.

The reality of today's world is a fight between kids today is not the same as it was years ago. Schools can call the police and press charges on both kids, they can expel children for fighting. DHS can get involved. You child can be forced into anger management, therapy or even time in an institution for anger. Many parents take the stance of my kids will defend themselves. Then the parents are fighting DHS to keep custody and paying thousands in court fines. Their kids get labeled as aggressive. It goes on and on and on. I am not saying it is right, but it is reality.

Some may think those are pretty extreme but it is becoming more and more common for middle and high schools to notify the police department and let them deal with fights rather than dealing with it in school and/or with the parents. And that trend will continue.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Be aware that this isn't the world of yesteryear and that the consequences for fighting have ballooned dramatically.
 
Of course, force is only ever justified when retaliating in self defense.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Is it OK to teach your kids to hit back?

Most moms teach their children not to throw punches, even when they are angry. But are there instances in which it’s okay for your child to hit another child — such as when your child is being bullied?

That’s the question Victoria C. is posing on Circle of Moms. Her son was suspended from school for retaliating, with fists, against a classmate who'd been picking on him. “I don’t want my son known for fighting, but I also don’t want him [to be] known as the kid who gets pushed around,” she says, unsure whether she should condone or criticize her son’s behavior.
For most of our members, it goes without saying that children should be taught non-violent dispute resolution techniques. As Jennifer B. asserts, "If your child hits back, they are no better than the person bullying them."



Is it Ever Okay to Teach Your Child to Hit? | POPSUGAR Moms
Click to expand...

I think it is clearly okay to teach them to punch back. Throwing the first punch, not so much. If someone ever tells me they were defending themselves or someone else from a physical confrontation, I am fine with it.
 
It's only okay if the child wishes the bullying to stop.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Is it OK to teach your kids to hit back?

Most moms teach their children not to throw punches, even when they are angry. But are there instances in which it’s okay for your child to hit another child — such as when your child is being bullied?

That’s the question Victoria C. is posing on Circle of Moms. Her son was suspended from school for retaliating, with fists, against a classmate who'd been picking on him. “I don’t want my son known for fighting, but I also don’t want him [to be] known as the kid who gets pushed around,” she says, unsure whether she should condone or criticize her son’s behavior.
For most of our members, it goes without saying that children should be taught non-violent dispute resolution techniques. As Jennifer B. asserts, "If your child hits back, they are no better than the person bullying them."



Is it Ever Okay to Teach Your Child to Hit? | POPSUGAR Moms
Click to expand...

Of course - only morons are pacifists.
 
PirateMk1 said:
You have noble sentiments my friend. I am a put a boot to their ribs and keep cracking them till the object of my ire has stopped moving kind of guy. An example needs to be made so the next SOB knows exactly what will happen to themselves should they be stupid. I teach my children this. No quarter expected, none granted. Mercy comes only after the fight is over and done.
Click to expand...

It depends on what they did if mercy should be given after a fight, imho.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Is it OK to teach your kids to hit back?

Most moms teach their children not to throw punches, even when they are angry. But are there instances in which it’s okay for your child to hit another child — such as when your child is being bullied?

That’s the question Victoria C. is posing on Circle of Moms. Her son was suspended from school for retaliating, with fists, against a classmate who'd been picking on him. “I don’t want my son known for fighting, but I also don’t want him [to be] known as the kid who gets pushed around,” she says, unsure whether she should condone or criticize her son’s behavior.
For most of our members, it goes without saying that children should be taught non-violent dispute resolution techniques. As Jennifer B. asserts, "If your child hits back, they are no better than the person bullying them."

Is it Ever Okay to Teach Your Child to Hit? | POPSUGAR Moms
Click to expand...
I always told my kids...

1) You do not start the fight,
2) You have every right to end the fight,
3) You absolutely have the right to defend yourself,
4) Unfortunately, I cannot guarantee that you will not be in trouble at school, and you *may* have to take their punishment (so think carefully, this is not license to knee-jerk react), but as long as you held up your end of the first three points, you would not be in trouble at home. In fact, we'd treat it like a vacation day and probably go out for ice cream.
 
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