View Poll Results: Was I wrong to ask her to stop?

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Thread: Was I wrong?

  1. #1
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    Was I wrong?

    I coach for the city here where i live. Varying sports for ages 4-13 depending on where they need help coaching. For baseball this year one of my teams is a 4-5 year old t ball team. We had our first practice last night and two women came with a little girl. I introduced myself and said hi and they immediately went on a little speech about how they are together, they are lesbians, they are raising this girl together, nothing wrong with that. Then go into whats going to happen if I discriminate against their daughter because of their sexuality, threatening lawsuits and explaining that there are laws ect. I told them I was there to teach their daughter softball, and their sexual orientation was not a factor at all and moved along. As I am meeting other parents a few of them commented that this lady had approached them and gave them a similar speech out of nowhere. After all the kids were there I gathered the kids together and started off having the kids introduce themselves to their teammates. No additional information really, just kid would say my name is Earl. And everyone would say Hi Earl to start to learn teammates names. When the little girl told everyone her name, again the lady popped into action giving her speech to everyone out there. I stopped her after about a minute and spoke to her privately, or as privately as I could on a baseball field, and let her know that it is not appropriate to interrupt a team activity like that, and again told her noone is going to be discriminating against her daughter. So today I get a call from the city letting me know she filed a complaint and is taking her child off of my team because I told her she had to hide her sexuality at our practices so it wouldn't bother other parents. I dont recall my exact wording but it was not mean, the word hiding or even sexuality didnt come out of my mouth. I only asked her not to interrupt our practices and tried to assure he that I don't care what her sexual preference is, I am there to teach baseball and the other parents are only there to watch.

    Was I wrong to ask her to stop what she was doing?
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
    Stephen R. Covey


  2. #2
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Obviously I don't think I was wrong, but I have to go meet with the sports director and someone from their HR to discuss how to handle it in the future. I haven't really spoken to them much about it but, who knows how they may interpret it when we meet.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
    Stephen R. Covey


  3. #3
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I coach for the city here where i live. Varying sports for ages 4-13 depending on where they need help coaching. For baseball this year one of my teams is a 4-5 year old t ball team. We had our first practice last night and two women came with a little girl. I introduced myself and said hi and they immediately went on a little speech about how they are together, they are lesbians, they are raising this girl together, nothing wrong with that. Then go into whats going to happen if I discriminate against their daughter because of their sexuality, threatening lawsuits and explaining that there are laws ect. I told them I was there to teach their daughter softball, and their sexual orientation was not a factor at all and moved along. As I am meeting other parents a few of them commented that this lady had approached them and gave them a similar speech out of nowhere. After all the kids were there I gathered the kids together and started off having the kids introduce themselves to their teammates. No additional information really, just kid would say my name is Earl. And everyone would say Hi Earl to start to learn teammates names. When the little girl told everyone her name, again the lady popped into action giving her speech to everyone out there. I stopped her after about a minute and spoke to her privately, or as privately as I could on a baseball field, and let her know that it is not appropriate to interrupt a team activity like that, and again told her noone is going to be discriminating against her daughter. So today I get a call from the city letting me know she filed a complaint and is taking her child off of my team because I told her she had to hide her sexuality at our practices so it wouldn't bother other parents. I dont recall my exact wording but it was not mean, the word hiding or even sexuality didnt come out of my mouth. I only asked her not to interrupt our practices and tried to assure he that I don't care what her sexual preference is, I am there to teach baseball and the other parents are only there to watch.

    Was I wrong to ask her to stop what she was doing?
    No...she sounds like a ****ing idiot.

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet
    “Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.” John Maynard Keynes

  4. #4
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by iliveonramen View Post
    No...she sounds like a ****ing idiot.
    I dont disagree, but I am worried that this is going to turn into something that gets me pulled from coaching while they look into or whatever they do. Especially since i have to meet with the city's hr rep. Its bothering the **** out of me since i got the call.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
    Stephen R. Covey


  5. #5
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I coach for the city here where i live. Varying sports for ages 4-13 depending on where they need help coaching. For baseball this year one of my teams is a 4-5 year old t ball team. We had our first practice last night and two women came with a little girl. I introduced myself and said hi and they immediately went on a little speech about how they are together, they are lesbians, they are raising this girl together, nothing wrong with that. Then go into whats going to happen if I discriminate against their daughter because of their sexuality, threatening lawsuits and explaining that there are laws ect. I told them I was there to teach their daughter softball, and their sexual orientation was not a factor at all and moved along. As I am meeting other parents a few of them commented that this lady had approached them and gave them a similar speech out of nowhere. After all the kids were there I gathered the kids together and started off having the kids introduce themselves to their teammates. No additional information really, just kid would say my name is Earl. And everyone would say Hi Earl to start to learn teammates names. When the little girl told everyone her name, again the lady popped into action giving her speech to everyone out there. I stopped her after about a minute and spoke to her privately, or as privately as I could on a baseball field, and let her know that it is not appropriate to interrupt a team activity like that, and again told her noone is going to be discriminating against her daughter. So today I get a call from the city letting me know she filed a complaint and is taking her child off of my team because I told her she had to hide her sexuality at our practices so it wouldn't bother other parents. I dont recall my exact wording but it was not mean, the word hiding or even sexuality didnt come out of my mouth. I only asked her not to interrupt our practices and tried to assure he that I don't care what her sexual preference is, I am there to teach baseball and the other parents are only there to watch.

    Was I wrong to ask her to stop what she was doing?
    If it happened just as you described why do you think you need to ask if you were right or wrong?

    If it happenned just as you described I don't think any rational person could possibly say you were in the wrong. Which makes me wonder why you have to ask...

  6. #6
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by roughdraft274 View Post
    If it happened just as you described why do you think you need to ask if you were right or wrong?

    If it happenned just as you described I don't think any rational person could possibly say you were in the wrong. Which makes me wonder why you have to ask...
    Im mostly asking because its on my mind trying to determine how the city is going to view this. her pulling kid off my team is silly to me, but wouldn't bother me. The city having me come in tonight, has to be tonight, and they are working late to have this meeting makes me feel like they think i did.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
    Stephen R. Covey


  7. #7
    ThunderCougarFalconBird
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I dont disagree, but I am worried that this is going to turn into something that gets me pulled from coaching while they look into or whatever they do. Especially since i have to meet with the city's hr rep. Its bothering the **** out of me since i got the call.
    Bring along a parent that saw everything or an assistant coach if possible. Explain that you never kicked her out and has to continually reassure her that her kid wouldn't be discriminated against.

    I think if you and another adult who agrees with you explained the story then there isn't much that could really come of it.

  8. #8
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    Im mostly asking because its on my mind trying to determine how the city is going to view this. her pulling kid off my team is silly to me, but wouldn't bother me. The city having me come in tonight, has to be tonight, and they are working late to have this meeting makes me feel like they think i did.
    Eh, it's damage control dude. Don't worry. Worrying about it won't change a thing. Get someone else to tag along that saw the whole thing. Or more than one if you can. If you explain it honestly and have witnesses and they still want to make a big deal of it then so be it.

  9. #9
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by roughdraft274 View Post
    Bring along a parent that saw everything or an assistant coach if possible. Explain that you never kicked her out and has to continually reassure her that her kid wouldn't be discriminated against.

    I think if you and another adult who agrees with you explained the story then there isn't much that could really come of it.
    My wife said same thing, to ask another parent to come. Most of what was said was probably heard, but i feel wierd asking them to come for something like this, when i just met them last night.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
    Stephen R. Covey


  10. #10
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I dont disagree, but I am worried that this is going to turn into something that gets me pulled from coaching while they look into or whatever they do. Especially since i have to meet with the city's hr rep. Its bothering the **** out of me since i got the call.
    Who knows...they may play it safe but I find it hard she can prove that you told her to "hide her sexuality" because the words never left your mouth. Something like that is virtually impossible to prove unless she lies and then if she lies it's he said vs she said which isn't exactly going to fly.

    At the end of the day, she was obnoxious and other parents seem like they would back you up on that. I'm don't think there's any legal right to barrage everyone as soon as you meet them like you're reading them their Miranda rights.
    “Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.” John Maynard Keynes

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