Originally Posted by ChomskyOriginally Posted by OrphanSlug
damn! where to start?
ok, the couple's kid. G_d bless him, because he has a difficult journey immediately ahead of him
Janfu has mentioned this earlier in the thread and i cannot encourage you enough to follow that advice: create a file on your personal computer and record every event exactly as you recall. play-by-play. NO commentary; this real-time record needs to document factually what is transpiring. fortunately, thanks to your thread, you can assemble the initial entries by cutting & pasting your descriptive posts. NOT your conclusions, inferences, thoughts, anything other than the facts. just maintain a running entry as soon as you come home so that your record is clear and continuous. take notes on the field if you must to assure your record is accurate and complete
right now, you recall many things. you have already acknowledged you are vague about what you precisely said. be absolutely clear going forward. and this record will serve you well down the road if her motivations are to litigate. hopefully, they are not ... but you must prepare for the worst. please do a memorandum for the record after every episode in which something seems irregular to you
as a sports official of 31 years, it appears you did absolutely nothing wrong. i would say you handled the initial sequence of events expertly. you listened to the woman explain her unique personal situation and you tried to assure her that her relationship would in no way impact the way you coached the team. perfect. and then, when you were coordinating team introductions, you intervened to preempt the woman's inappropriate intrusion into the team's activities. she was stepping all over your role as coach. and you did not permit that. kudos
not so much for park & rec. they allowed you to believe you were coming to meet with them to give your side of the story. of course they needed to document in any instance in which a parent alleges the coach acted improperly. and you showed up, thinking that was what you were going to do explain what happened from your perspective. but the park/rec officials blindsided you into a confrontation with a woman on a mission. not only did they retain the kid on your team but added his parent as an assistant coach. besides giving modest financial concessions that only allows the parent to believe she has won. that her approach works. because it did
you say this coaching activity is essential for your portfolio to qualify as a high school coach. you indicated you have an 8th grade team that you coach. to me, this tee ball skill set appears to be moving you backwards from your goal. in addition to maintaining that memoranda of record as events unfold, you should be seeking a different coaching position to move to. something like a travel ball team. or better yet, to a high school that needs an assistant coach. maybe you only coach round ball. but if you are a football coach you should be working with a high school team over the summer. not a whole lot of guys volunteer for that. be found helping a weak program get stronger. pee wee ball credentials, in your present scenario, is not worth the headache you will continue to have. she will want to disagree with your defensive assignments. ditto for the batting order. she will whine when her kid is not given the plum opportunities to excel and be seen. count on it. park and rec has set the tone for her to expect it. she will be your biggest critic. who needs that from an assistant coach you did not ask for. find something better and let park and rec deal with her as the head coach who succeeds you when you resign after finding a better assignment
in the meantime, document EVERYTHING that is non-routine. have i said that enough?! don't share it with anyone that you even have the chron record of events - unless you need it to defend yourself. if they surprise you next time, you can then surprise them with your exacting documentation
because i officiate youth games i must annually buy a background check from first advantage to document that i present no negative history with kids. i would encourage you to seek a background check from first advantage (mine was $10) and then encourage park and rec to require one from all coaching staff - if you stick around that long. if would not surprise me if she does not check out alright. would park & rec want an uncleared person around a bunch of kids? PM me if you want more info and i will share it
that this woman would find it necessary to initially approach you as she did, insisting that you become aware of her sexual orientation, which otherwise would have remained unknown to you, tells me that she is either looking to litigate for money or validation or both ... or she is ****ing crazy. that she exposed her circumstance to the parents and then interrupted your team introductions to put that out there indicates it may be the latter. find something else to so. NOW. and **** park & rec
: Some people have a chip on their shoulder - this one sounds like she has a cement block! I agree with the others on here...take as many people with you as you can to back up your story. If they can't or won't come with you, suggest to the people that you are meeting with that they take the initiative and contact some of the other parents who were there, since it's your reputation on the line, and it's unfair to be judged without all the facts being known.