View Poll Results: Was I wrong to ask her to stop?

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Thread: Was I wrong?

  1. #71
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    its not going to go that far. at least not at this point. she seems happy that i apologized and her child back on the team, and being an assistant coach to help control that. She is convincing. I want to believe she was trying to play an agenda to get some free sports, but she honestly seemed offended when we were all meeting. I dont know what to think. I probalby could have handled it better, certainly could have been better in the meeting, but i am hoping we can all focus on t ball. Sorrys have been said.
    I hope you're right. Honestly, I know so many gays and lesbians, and I've never met one who behaved the way you described, so I honestly believe that it's more about her being an asshole... they exist everywhere... than the fact that she's homosexual. That's just the ax she uses to get her way. The lesbians I know would be horrified by that behavior.

  2. #72
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I coach for the city here where i live. Varying sports for ages 4-13 depending on where they need help coaching. For baseball this year one of my teams is a 4-5 year old t ball team. We had our first practice last night and two women came with a little girl. I introduced myself and said hi and they immediately went on a little speech about how they are together, they are lesbians, they are raising this girl together, nothing wrong with that. Then go into whats [sic] going to happen if I discriminate against their daughter because of their sexuality, threatening lawsuits and explaining that there are laws ect. [sic] I told them I was there to teach their daughter softball, and their sexual orientation was not a factor at all and moved along. As I am meeting other parents a few of them commented that this lady had approached them and gave them a similar speech out of nowhere. After all the kids were there I gathered the kids together and started off having the kids introduce themselves to their teammates. No additional information really, just kid would say my name is Earl. And everyone would say Hi Earl to start to learn teammates names. When the little girl told everyone her name, again the lady popped into action giving her speech to everyone out there. I stopped her after about a minute and spoke to her privately, or as privately as I could on a baseball field, and let her know that it is not appropriate to interrupt a team activity like that, and again told her noone [sic] is going to be discriminating against her daughter. So today I get a call from the city letting me know she filed a complaint and is taking her child off of my team because I told her she had to hide her sexuality at our practices so it wouldn't bother other parents. I dont [sic] recall my exact wording but it was not mean, the word hiding or even sexuality didnt [sic] come out of my mouth. I only asked her not to interrupt our practices and tried to assure he [sic] that I don't care what her sexual preference is, I am there to teach baseball and the other parents are only there to watch.

    Was I wrong to ask her to stop what she was doing?
    Perhaps you should contact child protective services.

    There is something very, very wrong with that mother, and the way she is sexually-grooming her child.

    Sounds like you have plenty of witnesses to what really did or did not transpire, and who can vouch for you that you did not say or do anything inappropriate; and who can equally attest to that mother's inappropriate behavior.
    The five great lies of the Left Wrong:
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  3. #73
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by DiAnna View Post
    She is one of those rarities, a militant lesbian who is trying to draw attention to her "cause" in the most public forum available to her. You just happened to be her first stop on the way to city hall, the local news, and if she's "lucky" a few national headlines. Keep your head down, tell the truth, and wait for her to show her true colors to those she's trying to use to further her agenda.
    And to get out of paying for a service for her child, that every other parent with a child receiving that service is paying for.
    The five great lies of the Left Wrong:
    We can be Godless and free. • “Social justice” through forced redistribution of wealth. • Silencing religious opinions counts as “diversity”. • Freedom without moral and personal responsibility. • Civilization can survive the intentional undermining of the family.

  4. #74
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    I don't get the sense that she was looking for free sports for her kid... though she was obviously willing to accept it. I sense that she has deeper social issues she is trying to force on others, and/OR she is setting the city up for a lawsuit.
    April Fool's Day is the one day of the year
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  5. #75
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Blaylock View Post
    Perhaps you should contact child protective services.

    There is something very, very wrong with that mother, and the way she is sexually-grooming her child.

    Sounds like you have plenty of witnesses to what really did or did not transpire, and who can vouch for you that you did not say or do anything inappropriate; and who can equally attest to that mother's inappropriate behavior.
    I am not going to do anything to further this. Despite being embarassing, I don't know whether she is a good parent or not. I have no desire to see this go any further. There is no way that me calling social services ends well.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
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  6. #76
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    I don't get the sense that she was looking for free sports for her kid... though she was obviously willing to accept it. I sense that she has deeper social issues she is trying to force on others, and/OR she is setting the city up for a lawsuit.
    My impression walking out of there was she was far more interested in punishing me (for lack of a better word) for pulling her aside and telling her to knock it off. I think the apology was what she wanted, and to feel like she "won". She didn't resist getting her money back, but she didnt ask or insist on it. She did ask to be made coach, and settled for assistant coach. but me getting in trouble and me apologizing was most important it seemed.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
    Stephen R. Covey


  7. #77
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    So had the meeting. Started off really poorly because she and her wife were there and No-one told me that. I thought it was me and the city reps. That really irritated me.

    Anyhow, I explained why I asked her to knock it off. She had a list of problems with me it seemed like. First when I greeted her I asked the child's name and then asked who her mother was, which is offensive since she had two mothers and I shouldn't have assumed they weren't together. Then she claims I refused to acknowledge her spouse. Which through all of this the spouse never really said or did anything so I was pretty much just talking to the parent who was talking. Which not addressing her spouse means I refused to acknowledge them as a couple somehow.

    Then she claims that after she told me they were together I looked like I wanted to get away. Which this is somewhat true, largely because I didn't want to hear it, but also because other kids were arriving and I wanted to greet them more than listen to her.

    Then she said other parents were staring and giving her looks and I allowed it and she felt like parents were going to tell thier kids to not involve hers. Which as a coach I would never allow.

    Then of course I singled her out to set an example to everyone that I was in charge. Which is not why I pulled her aside.

    Then I made the apparently horrible mistake in the meeting of saying that I don't care if she is gay or not. And holy **** did that set her off. I was not supposed to call her gay, which may have some merit, I am not overly pc so maybe. And saying I didn't care about her sexualitat turned into I don't believe in civil rights or equality since I don't care about homosexual equality. Really wasn't sure how it got there.

    Though all of this I was explaining that she is taking everything way out off context and reading into things that aren't there.

    In the end, I was asked to apologize and promise to be more attentive of the sensitive issue. Which it took everything in me to do. It really did. She also got a refund and her child will be playing for free, and also will be allowed to play basketball for free when that starts. Her child is back on my team, and she is going to be my assistant coach to ensure he child gets fair playing time. Which I don't get since all children play the field, there are no reserves.

    But whatever I guess. Not too happy at them moment
    That actually sounds worse than getting canned.

    You do realize that as "assistant coach" she's got you completely over a barrel, right? You know that if she suggests something and you disagree you're going right back into that office and that meeting will make this one look like a picnic. Of course I suppose that quitting would also simply be perceived as proof of your homophobia and gender bias. I feel for you, man. Next time it'll probably be better if you just make the cake, wrap it in a bow and give it to her as a gift.

  8. #78
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lutherf View Post
    That actually sounds worse than getting canned.

    You do realize that as "assistant coach" she's got you completely over a barrel, right? You know that if she suggests something and you disagree you're going right back into that office and that meeting will make this one look like a picnic. Of course I suppose that quitting would also simply be perceived as proof of your homophobia and gender bias. I feel for you, man. Next time it'll probably be better if you just make the cake, wrap it in a bow and give it to her as a gift.
    Lol somewhat. It's t ball. Not really a lot of choices to argue over. 4-5 year old sports are about learning. Everyone plays, rotate positions every inning, everyone bats, and for the most part, parents are all coaches as every child at that age needs direct help. Not much for her to hold me over a barrel over. My 8th grade team would be different. That is competitive, and spots are earned, decisions are made. But t ball is by the book.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
    Stephen R. Covey


  9. #79
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by DiAnna View Post
    I hope you're right. Honestly, I know so many gays and lesbians, and I've never met one who behaved the way you described, so I honestly believe that it's more about her being an asshole... they exist everywhere... than the fact that she's homosexual. That's just the ax she uses to get her way. The lesbians I know would be horrified by that behavior.
    Between you, me and the doorpost, I'd be willing to bet that this chick only eats **** because doing so makes a political statement. She sounds like a man hating, militant feminazi who is TOTALLY self absorbed and won't pass gas unless she can do so to promote herself and her agenda. I truly feel for her daughter and hope the child survives long enough to escape.

  10. #80
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    Lol somewhat. It's t ball. Not really a lot of choices to argue over. 4-5 year old sports are about learning. Everyone plays, rotate positions every inning, everyone bats, and for the most part, parents are all coaches as every child at that age needs direct help. Not much for her to hold me over a barrel over. My 8th grade team would be different. That is competitive, and spots are earned, decisions are made. But t ball is by the book.
    Just remember that this is not about softball or teaching kids anything for your "assistant coach". It's ONLY about her and her agenda.

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