View Poll Results: Was I wrong to ask her to stop?

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    2 4.44%
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Thread: Was I wrong?

  1. #41
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    Obviously I don't think I was wrong, but I have to go meet with the sports director and someone from their HR to discuss how to handle it in the future. I haven't really spoken to them much about it but, who knows how they may interpret it when we meet.
    I think as long as you honestly and completely explain the situation to them, you should be fine. In my experience, HR folks tend to understand that there are crazy people out there and no matter how much you tried to be reasonable with them they still filed a complaint. If what you say about the other parents is true, you can always tell them to try and gather some additional witness testimonies so they know that you weren't being a dick, but rather the parents were.

    These kinds of situations are difficult to analyze when you aren't there and there are always two sides, but from the way you've described it, you did nothing wrong, and they sounded like they have a persecution complex. maybe because they live in the springs they feel like everyone is out to get them.

  2. #42
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    My wife said same thing, to ask another parent to come. Most of what was said was probably heard, but i feel wierd asking them to come for something like this, when i just met them last night.
    they don't have to come, just tell the HR people to give them a call. they may have already done so by the time you get there and you might not have anything to worry about. like someone else said: damage control.

  3. #43
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by bg85 View Post
    I think as long as you honestly and completely explain the situation to them, you should be fine. In my experience, HR folks tend to understand that there are crazy people out there and no matter how much you tried to be reasonable with them they still filed a complaint. If what you say about the other parents is true, you can always tell them to try and gather some additional witness testimonies so they know that you weren't being a dick, but rather the parents were.

    These kinds of situations are difficult to analyze when you aren't there and there are always two sides, but from the way you've described it, you did nothing wrong, and they sounded like they have a persecution complex. maybe because they live in the springs they feel like everyone is out to get them.
    I don't know what she said, but yes there are two sides I'm sure. At the very least I know my intent but don't remember what I said exactly.
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  4. #44
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lutherf View Post
    The LAST thing he should do is bring another parent he doesn't know to the meeting. How does he know what they'll say? What if they're intimidated and give the interviewer a negative impression of the incident? If he's going to bring anyone it should be an attorney.
    I staed notes, parent to write out the same thing. No suggestions on what to write, just their recollection of events.
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  5. #45
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I don't know what she said, but yes there are two sides I'm sure. At the very least I know my intent but don't remember what I said exactly.
    you sound like you care, which means you're probably a great coach, so it would be a shame if this ended badly for you. I am in HR and know how these situations can go down so just make sure to keep your cool, tell the truth, and 99% of the time, reason will prevail. whenever there is a complaint, it's standard practice for HR to investigate but I would be really surprised if they came down on you for this. keep us posted.

  6. #46
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by bg85 View Post
    you sound like you care, which means you're probably a great coach, so it would be a shame if this ended badly for you. I am in HR and know how these situations can go down so just make sure to keep your cool, tell the truth, and 99% of the time, reason will prevail. whenever there is a complaint, it's standard practice for HR to investigate but I would be really surprised if they came down on you for this. keep us posted.
    I am about to head on over now. I'll post when I get home.

    As a note, I am not calling parents and dragging them into it. I certainly am not calling an attorney. I'll go in, explain, and see what happens. Hr or the director can call who they'd like.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
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  7. #47
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I coach for the city here where i live. Varying sports for ages 4-13 depending on where they need help coaching. For baseball this year one of my teams is a 4-5 year old t ball team. We had our first practice last night and two women came with a little girl. I introduced myself and said hi and they immediately went on a little speech about how they are together, they are lesbians, they are raising this girl together, nothing wrong with that. Then go into whats going to happen if I discriminate against their daughter because of their sexuality, threatening lawsuits and explaining that there are laws ect. I told them I was there to teach their daughter softball, and their sexual orientation was not a factor at all and moved along. As I am meeting other parents a few of them commented that this lady had approached them and gave them a similar speech out of nowhere. After all the kids were there I gathered the kids together and started off having the kids introduce themselves to their teammates. No additional information really, just kid would say my name is Earl. And everyone would say Hi Earl to start to learn teammates names. When the little girl told everyone her name, again the lady popped into action giving her speech to everyone out there. I stopped her after about a minute and spoke to her privately, or as privately as I could on a baseball field, and let her know that it is not appropriate to interrupt a team activity like that, and again told her noone is going to be discriminating against her daughter. So today I get a call from the city letting me know she filed a complaint and is taking her child off of my team because I told her she had to hide her sexuality at our practices so it wouldn't bother other parents. I dont recall my exact wording but it was not mean, the word hiding or even sexuality didnt come out of my mouth. I only asked her not to interrupt our practices and tried to assure he that I don't care what her sexual preference is, I am there to teach baseball and the other parents are only there to watch.

    Was I wrong to ask her to stop what she was doing?
    The important thing to remember is that you objected to the parents interrupting the children while they were introducing themselves to each other. Your objection had nothing to do with the content of what they were saying - only the timing.
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  8. #48
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Verax View Post
    If she is as bad as you described, invite her to a meeting with the city and let her talk. They'll quickly understand the problem.

    As for the crybabies in this thread that swear "this is how it is in the U.S. now", please... get a grip, nobody sane considers that acceptable behavior or "PC".
    We weren't talking about the "sane", we were talking about the ultra PC left. Don't know who you think you're fooling. The more you try to tell him he's got nothing to worry about, the more I'm thinking you're trying to lull him into being unprepared. I'm on to you.

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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I don't know what she said, but yes there are two sides I'm sure. At the very least I know my intent but don't remember what I said exactly.
    See you on CNN.

  10. #50
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    N
    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I coach for the city here where i live. Varying sports for ages 4-13 depending on where they need help coaching. For baseball this year one of my teams is a 4-5 year old t ball team. We had our first practice last night and two women came with a little girl. I introduced myself and said hi and they immediately went on a little speech about how they are together, they are lesbians, they are raising this girl together, nothing wrong with that. Then go into whats going to happen if I discriminate against their daughter because of their sexuality, threatening lawsuits and explaining that there are laws ect. I told them I was there to teach their daughter softball, and their sexual orientation was not a factor at all and moved along. As I am meeting other parents a few of them commented that this lady had approached them and gave them a similar speech out of nowhere. After all the kids were there I gathered the kids together and started off having the kids introduce themselves to their teammates. No additional information really, just kid would say my name is Earl. And everyone would say Hi Earl to start to learn teammates names. When the little girl told everyone her name, again the lady popped into action giving her speech to everyone out there. I stopped her after about a minute and spoke to her privately, or as privately as I could on a baseball field, and let her know that it is not appropriate to interrupt a team activity like that, and again told her noone is going to be discriminating against her daughter. So today I get a call from the city letting me know she filed a complaint and is taking her child off of my team because I told her she had to hide her sexuality at our practices so it wouldn't bother other parents. I dont recall my exact wording but it was not mean, the word hiding or even sexuality didnt come out of my mouth. I only asked her not to interrupt our practices and tried to assure he that I don't care what her sexual preference is, I am there to teach baseball and the other parents are only there to watch.

    Was I wrong to ask her to stop what she was doing?
    You Were absolutely not wrong. What a world.


    Thank you, Quazi!

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