View Poll Results: Was I wrong to ask her to stop?

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  • Yes

    2 4.44%
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    43 95.56%
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Thread: Was I wrong?

  1. #151
    Randian PUA
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I've had one problem like this over the years. I didn't get that sangha was calling me the bad guy, but I could not win this fight. Priority is having a fun baseball season where these kids leave knowing how to catch and throw. Which at 4-5 years old is really hard for them to do. I could give up, pass the kids and problems to the next parent on the team and keep some pride. Or swallow my pride and do what is best for all. I don't want to be let go for perceived bigotry, the city doesn't want to deal with this type of thing, and the kids deserve a good coach (little ego there). The other parents don't have a problem with me. Just one. And the city cannot tell a woman to kick rocks who complained that a coach was intolerant of her sexuality. The winner is this isn't really this woman, it will be these kids and want to be there to be sure it does. I'll be able to better protect myself if a future incident occurs.


    Just to add, I do appreciate what you are saying, and I did get kicked last night, but after calming down I don't think the city had a choice.
    Of course not. I was talking about the adminstrations' POV.

    As I said, you can be right, or you cann be smart. For some people, protecting their rightousness is the most important thing.

    The rest of us live in the real world.
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  2. #152
    Educator
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    In the end, I was asked to apologize and promise to be more attentive of the sensitive issue. Which it took everything in me to do. It really did. She also got a refund and her child will be playing for free, and also will be allowed to play basketball for free when that starts. Her child is back on my team, and she is going to be my assistant coach to ensure he child gets fair playing time. Which I don't get since all children play the field, there are no reserves.
    , if it went like you said it sounds more like a case of misunderstandings and such, so laughing as the City's reaction is so stupid.

    Apology? Seemed alright, more to appease just to make her not get any more upset. The rest seems to be overacted or playing into an overreaction. If you explained everything, as explained here, I'd think anyone would realize that it was, well like I said, a misunderstanding. You weren't bothered by her sexuality and didn't mean to ignore the spouse, you also just didn't want to get a spiel on it (as you didn't really care). Using gay instead of lesbian or homosexual or w.e. can be dealt with by apology and something about didn't realize how it could be taken etc. etc. (or something to that effect). Seems an honest mistake considering how often same sex marriage and gay marriage are interchanged.

    Don't get why she has to be an assistant coach, considering it's established enough she'd complain if her child didn't get fair playing time. Also sets a bad president of "complain to get coaching jobs (even if they are voluntary)." Plus, if her worry is her child being discriminated against by other parents, isn't that going to be more likely now she is assistant coach then before? *shrugs*

    Get the feeling she went into the original situation believing (rightly or wrongly) that people/society will be unwelcoming because of her sexual orientation. So all your actions got viewed through that, and thus looked more malicious then intended to be.

  3. #153
    Sage

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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    The nomenclature keeps changing. When I was younger gay women were either 'gay' or 'lesbian'. It didn't matter which one, and nobody cared which one. Now they're just 'lesbian', and anything else is a social faux pas.

    Gay men, however, are still 'gay'.
    I am going to have to write this down. Thanks

  4. #154
    Sage

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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I've had one problem like this over the years. I didn't get that sangha was calling me the bad guy, but I could not win this fight. Priority is having a fun baseball season where these kids leave knowing how to catch and throw. Which at 4-5 years old is really hard for them to do. I could give up, pass the kids and problems to the next parent on the team and keep some pride. Or swallow my pride and do what is best for all. I don't want to be let go for perceived bigotry, the city doesn't want to deal with this type of thing, and the kids deserve a good coach (little ego there). The other parents don't have a problem with me. Just one. And the city cannot tell a woman to kick rocks who complained that a coach was intolerant of her sexuality. The winner is this isn't really this woman, it will be these kids and want to be there to be sure it does. I'll be able to better protect myself if a future incident occurs.

    Just to add, I do appreciate what you are saying, and I did get kicked last night, but after calming down I don't think the city had a choice.
    With all that said, revenge is a dish best served cold.

  5. #155
    Professor

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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    I dont disagree, but I am worried that this is going to turn into something that gets me pulled from coaching while they look into or whatever they do. Especially since i have to meet with the city's hr rep. Its bothering the **** out of me since i got the call.
    What you should do is turn this into the cities fault for not properly training you to handle situations like this and as a coach just trying to do your job shouldnt have to be caught unprepared. The city needs to immediately give you an assistant that is familiar with same sex parents and the special needs and concerns that they obviously need. The city dropped the ball and demonstrated their lack of concern and insensitivity to this wonderful same sex couple and now you are considering filing a lawsuit for potential damages to your coaching career. You will contact CNN to talk about your concerns about what happened and to raise awareness of the threat to society by not preparing coaches to incorporate same sex couples that are just trying to parent and give their children the same opportunities like the rest of us.
    Caitlyn Strong...

  6. #156
    Actually I am.
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhisattva View Post
    No. We live in a really rural area and New Zealand is not funded half as well as the USA is for sports. I generally keep time myself but just forgot that time...
    Yeah that's true. Here in the states, all sorts of programs get cut - mostly music and the arts - to fund the sports programs. Get a winning team and it gets even worse.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chomsky
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    Asking Sarah Palin to head up the Department of Education is like asking Hitler to head up a human rights advocacy group.

  7. #157
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by sangha View Post
    Of course not. I was talking about the adminstrations' POV.

    As I said, you can be right, or you cann be smart. For some people, protecting their rightousness is the most important thing.

    The rest of us live in the real world.
    It is smart to make sure this woman can't spoil anyone else's fun. She is a problem parent. Not because of her sexuality, but her interruptions of practice.
    The Crowd is not the sum of its parts.

  8. #158
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Superfly View Post
    Yeah that's true. Here in the states, all sorts of programs get cut - mostly music and the arts - to fund the sports programs. Get a winning team and it gets even worse.
    Athletics aren't important? I hear this a lot. So I am just curious. Are athletics less important than the arts?
    The Crowd is not the sum of its parts.

  9. #159
    Randian PUA
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by stonewall50 View Post
    It is smart to make sure this woman can't spoil anyone else's fun.
    And losing his coaching job would make it impossible for him to do that
    Quote Originally Posted by matchlight View Post
    Justice Thomas' opinions consistently contain precise, detailed constitutional analyses.
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  10. #160
    Dungeon Master
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    Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by sangha View Post
    And losing his coaching job would make it impossible for him to do that
    He was clearly in the wrong at every turn. He apologized so clearly that is the case. You're just happy he mollified some people on the political left, quite frankly. Had it been some Christian parent upset about something, you'd have a completely different take. Well, I'm sure he'll roll over every single time now, which is your advice to him not surprisingly. Certainly wouldn't want him standing up for himself. That would make him the bad guy in the wrong.

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