Stephen: Father Maxi, I... just don't know where else to turn. You see, I've just learned that my son is... bi-curious.
Father Maxi: Is that true, son? Are you feeling... confused?
Butters: ...Yeah, I'm pretty confused alright.
Stephen: You see?
Father Maxi: Young man, These confused feelings that you're having are simply the Devil's way of trying to get a hold of you.
Stephen: What can I do, Father?
Father Maxi: There is a special camp where young men who are confused, like your son, can go and be cleansed by the power of God. Many bi-curious boys come out the camp completely cured.
Bradley: I really want to get better. I try to do everything the counselors say, but some...how I still feel confused.
Butters: Yeah, well hopefully, when we finish writin' all these verses, we won't be bi-curious no more, and then we can go home!
Bradley: You're really terrific, Butters. I mean, I think you're great. Oh oh! Oh God! Bad thought! Bad thought!
Butters: Wuh-what's the matter?
Bradley: I think, I, I th-, I think I like you.
Butters: Well I like you too, Bradley.
Bradley: You do?
Bradley: You like like me?
Butters: Sure, I like like you a lot a lot. [laughs]
Bradley: Oh God, we're both un-fixable! Don't you see we're lost causes?! We're just evil and nothing can change us! There's no other way out, Butters! We have to kill ourselves!
Butters: No! Bradley! You can't leave; you're my accountabilibuddy!
Director: Do you mind telling me how you managed to lose... your accountabilibuddy?!
Butters: I went looking for 'im, but he runs real fast.
Director: You don't seem to take this camp seriously, Butters. I've called your father in for a talk.
Butters: Oh no, my Dad?
Director: Do you understand the concept of Hell? Do you realize that if we don't fix you you will burn in a lake of fire for eternity?
Butters: Well yeah, but I just don't quite understand what you're fixin'.
Director: We're fixing your confusion!
Stephen: There you are, Butters!
Director: Oheh- hey Dad.
Stephen: What's he done now?!
Director: Mr. Stotch, your son is insubordinate, unwilling to change, and worse yet, he's lost his accountabilibuddy!
A counselor: They found him! They found Bradley! You'd better come quick!
Director: Oh Lord in Heaven! Don't jump, Bradley!
Bradley: Stay-stay back! I'm an abomination of God!
Director: Nono, we're fixing you!
Director: Don't jump, Bradley! You will only make god angrier with you!
Bradley: It's too late.
Butters: Bradley, please. You're my accountabilibuddy. How will this make me look?
Director: You get back. You're only gonna make things worse.
Bradley: I'm not normal. I'll never be normal!
Butters: You're perfectly normal, Bradley.
Director: Get back! You're just as confused as he is!
Butters: [gets angry] All right. All right that does it! [turns around and faces the crowd] I am sick and tired of everyone telling me I'm confused! I wasn't confused until other people started tellin' me I was! You know what I think? I think maybe you are the ones who are confused!
Butters: I'm not gonna be confused anymore just because you say I should be! My name is Butters, I'm eight years old, I'm blood type O, and I'm bi-curious! And even that's okay! Because if I'm bi-curious, and I'm somehow made from God, then I think your God must be a little bi-curious himself!
Bradley: I think. I think I'd like to come down now.
Director: He's coming down! We did it! Through the power of Christ we have saved this child!
Stephen: Well Butters, I guess we might as well go home. Looks like you're never gonna change.
Butters: No. I like bein' bi-curious.
Stephen: Well you know somethin'? So do I. [they both have a good laugh about it]
Butters: Wait. Now I am confused.