View Poll Results: PTSD: do we forget about family members involved

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  • Yes

    5 3.70%
  • No

    52 38.52%
  • They can suck it up, they weren't the ones fighting for our country

    76 56.30%
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Thread: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

  1. #11
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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    Not to go on about this, but the premise of the thread is simply flawed. The resources may not be widely utilized, but they ARE there.

    Web Links: Families - PTSD: National Center for PTSD

    Now...one of our BIGGEST challenges (and its a nut we have yet to crack) is with the families of our Guard and Reservists that deploy. That is a huge problem.

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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    Quote Originally Posted by ReverendHellh0und View Post
    Great charity:

    https://www.fisherhouse.org/about/


    A lot of us care about the whole military family.


    https://www.mcsf.org/


    Bob Woodruff Foundation




    There are a bunch more, that said, the government could really care less about injured veterans for the most part.
    Fisher House is AMAZING. The work they do there...incredible. I've toured the facility at Ft Sam several times. Just amazing.

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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    I realize that, but it's not hard to figure out that going to war and killing people can have pretty severe effects. My point is that more consideration should probably be put into making such a serious decision, and that dragging your young wife and children into such a scarring environment is probably unwise.

    It's sort of like me going into nursing thirty years ago, then bitching because I have to deal with sick people, and deal with bodily fluids and dying. I signed up for it. It's stressful as hell, and more than one nurse has gone off the deep end because the job sucks. Do we owe anyone who has job stress-related depression for the rest of their lives?
    You can walk away from nursing at any time. You just cant quit your job in the service.

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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    Quote Originally Posted by CanadaJohn View Post
    I appreciate the sentiment here but I'm not sure what you're getting at. I think there are many dangerous jobs and in most cases there is a brotherhood/sisterhood that develops among those in the profession and the families that support them. When a police officer dies during duty, police officers from all over the world congregate at that funeral service to show respect and to honour the service and that goes on with firefighters as well, as examples. I also think that those professions look to the care of the families left behind as well.

    The difference may be in where tragedy occurs. With police/firefighters, their danger is where they live and the families live that danger every day, read and hear about it every day and the families share the experiences every day. Soldiers, however, experience their danger, for the most part, oceans away, generally by themselves, and they often suffer it internally in order to be outwardly brave and unaffected. As such, the societal closeness and protection you refer to isn't readily available for either the soldier or his/her family.

    I know my father, after serving in WWII, was very disillusioned and felt abandoned by the government and those he served with when he got home. It took years for him and he never really forgave.

    To answer your question, maybe it's the families of soldiers who forget other families of soldiers and they need to find ways to be more connected and supportive of each other rather than expect society in general to be understanding and supportive of something they can't appreciate.
    Greetings, CJ.

    My mother's brother Johnnie lost a leg in New Guinea in WW2, (gangrene had set in before he was rescued) and she often talked about how he angrily said he'd give the government back every cent they ever paid him if they would give him his leg back! I guess he never really adjusted, and was bitter till he died. Why can't we use robots to fight our wars - starting with the ME! They don't suffer like humans do. One day we probably will, but not soon enough to help the mentally and physically injured we already have! Sad...

  5. #15
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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    The military "relies" on the families to assist with recovery. Without adequate family support, the soldier suffering cannot recover adequately. By ignoring families - they take away the best support system.

    I had no idea how to handle a mentally ill husband - and I still don't and it's been years. When he was retiring from the military he was gone for more than 12 months JUST to retire out (not deployed - he was stationed in another state for this whole time). And only after he was gone for 9 or those 12 months did anyone from the military call me up and ask me "Do you think he's mentally stable enough to come home"

    What the hell? Of course - How would I know?

    Apparently he threatened people and spent time in a mental institution because of that (not because of depression as he had led me to believe) while he was gone for those 12 months.

    Wow - thanks, military. I so totally know how to handle a mentally scarred grown man who's in his 40's but has episodes like a violently ill 10 year old. I really know what to do every time he flips out, has issues, goes paranoid, and hallucinates.

    Yeah - I'm a ****ing therapist and a psychiatrist. Somehow, by being related or married to service-members we come with knowledge and insight. Bull****, I'm just his wife. I have no clue what the **** to do - so often I ignore him when he had episodes because trying to comfort him just doesn't do anything positive.

    The military broke him - and people expect me to either know how to fix him OR just leave him. Gee - thanks. That's great I LOVE that. (sarcasm)

    On this note - some states have better support systems for families. Where I live, we don't have a damned thing. The only time I ever felt like what I was going through mattered was when I was staying with him at the Nicoe unit (new high-tech med facility near DC for soldiers with mental illnesses that are undiagnosed). That was it - 2 weeks out of the month he stayed there I went to visit him and that was the only time anyone communicated with me about his health, his mental state, and what his issues really were.

    Considering the nature of his mental ailment and what caused it - I was offended and shocked that they removed me from that loop for some stupid Hippa bull****. I sleep with him, I assist him when he's recovering from surgery. I ****ing MATTER in his life. But they leave it up to the soldiers to inform their spouses over their health and mental issues.

    HELLO - does that make any ****ing sens? They leave it up to mentally ill men and women to DECIDE they're going to inform their spouse of their MENTAL issues? So they have to humiliate their selves and feel like ****? Many DO NOT do it. It's too painful, too humiliating. They shouldn't HAVE to do it, either.

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    I am a bit conflicted about this issue as a whole. On one hand, I think we need to give as much support as possible to the servicemen and women who have service-related PTSD. Otoh, they signed up for the job, and war is hell. I'm just not sure that because a man (or woman) voluntarily signs up for military service, that we owe the family, for what could become the rest of their lives.

    Imo, someone who joins up, willingly putting himself at risk, should be doubly cautious about that decision, as the long-term repercussions can be horrible to a young family.
    Yeah, exactly. People think we don't matter. But when soldiers flip out and kill people / etc - the first people they look to with 'what in the hell happened' are the families. Most families are all "I didn't know what was going on / what to do" . . . nad part of that comes from being ignored / not spoken to / not involved in therapy and recovery. We don't matter.

    Hell - privacy laws prevent them from talking to US . . . because we don't matter, even to the medical community.

    But we do suffer directly from it more than people know - spouses AND children.
    Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 02-18-15 at 12:05 PM.
    A screaming comes across the sky.
    It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.
    Pynchon - Gravity's Rainbow

  6. #16
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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    Quote Originally Posted by polgara View Post
    Greetings, CJ.

    My mother's brother Johnnie lost a leg in New Guinea in WW2, (gangrene had set in before he was rescued) and she often talked about how he angrily said he'd give the government back every cent they ever paid him if they would give him his leg back! I guess he never really adjusted, and was bitter till he died. Why can't we use robots to fight our wars - starting with the ME! They don't suffer like humans do. One day we probably will, but not soon enough to help the mentally and physically injured we already have! Sad...
    Good morning Lady P - milder here today, but the freeze is coming back later in the week - hope all is good with you.

    I don't know about the robots part - I guess you could call drones robots in that they're unmanned and are controlled by humans outside of the battlefield. But robots are exceedingly expensive at this point.
    "Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views." William F. Buckley Jr.

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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    Quote Originally Posted by VanceMack View Post
    Not to go on about this, but the premise of the thread is simply flawed. The resources may not be widely utilized, but they ARE there.

    Web Links: Families - PTSD: National Center for PTSD

    Now...one of our BIGGEST challenges (and its a nut we have yet to crack) is with the families of our Guard and Reservists that deploy. That is a huge problem.
    It is not hard to crack the nut, just expensive. We do not have the mental healthcare system in the US to deal with people's chronic issues. This was the result of decisions made a generation ago. It is more economical to incarcerate people or drug them into submission than to provide them a more holistic system the deal with mental issues. We could learn from this and use it to build a widely available mental health system, but we will not because Lord forbid a corporate CEO has to pay some taxes.

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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    Quote Originally Posted by Declan View Post
    It is not hard to crack the nut, just expensive. We do not have the mental healthcare system in the US to deal with people's chronic issues. This was the result of decisions made a generation ago. It is more economical to incarcerate people or drug them into submission than to provide them a more holistic system the deal with mental issues. We could learn from this and use it to build a widely available mental health system, but we will not because Lord forbid a corporate CEO has to pay some taxes.
    MilitaryOneSource pays for 12 free sessions for any family member. VA services are free. ArmyOne SOurce, ACS, SFACs, military SWS and Behavioral Health Services...all provided free. VA PTSD clinic services...all free.

    Save your partisan ramblings for a topic they might actually apply to.

  9. #19
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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    Quote Originally Posted by VanceMack View Post
    Not to go on about this, but the premise of the thread is simply flawed. The resources may not be widely utilized, but they ARE there.

    Web Links: Families - PTSD: National Center for PTSD

    Now...one of our BIGGEST challenges (and its a nut we have yet to crack) is with the families of our Guard and Reservists that deploy. That is a huge problem.
    I wish I could say it's all very helpful - but what's available and how efficient it is varies widely state to state and where you live in relation to certain help centers.

    I have 3 mentally ill people in this home on medication and seeking out therapy - I'm worn the **** out between their needs and beyond those necessities I have no time or energy for much anything else.

    White flag - I surrendered a long time ago.
    A screaming comes across the sky.
    It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.
    Pynchon - Gravity's Rainbow

  10. #20
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    Re: PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    I wish I could say it's all very helpful - but what's available and how efficient it is varies widely state to state and where you live in relation to certain help centers.

    I have 3 mentally ill people in this home on medication and seeking out therapy - I'm worn the **** out between their needs and beyond those necessities I have no time or energy for much anything else.

    White flag - I surrendered a long time ago.
    Im sure. I wish there was some sort of catch all. I mentioned the families of guard and reservists...some people live 2-3 hundred miles from their drill locations. Its really difficult to get services out to them as well. The VA has been using traveling/mobile care centers and doing a lot of work with tele-outreach.

    Not saying its perfect but that there ARE a lot of resources. I believe we in the military are often our families worst enemies when it comes to making people aware of what is actually available.

    Anyway...take this for what it is worth. I am pretty connected in with support services and if there is ever anything I could help with, please feel free to PM me. No promises and I'm sure you have already checked things out. Just sayin. And sincere good thoughts for you and your family.

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