View Poll Results: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

Voters
67. You may not vote on this poll
  • I'm male - None of it

    3 4.48%
  • I'm female - None of it

    3 4.48%
  • I'm male - Some of it

    23 34.33%
  • I'm female - Some of it

    8 11.94%
  • I'm male - Most of it

    17 25.37%
  • I'm female - Most of it

    6 8.96%
  • I'm male - All of it

    2 2.99%
  • I'm female - All of it

    1 1.49%
  • I'm male - I'll explain my thoughts

    4 5.97%
  • I'm female - I'll explain my thoughts

    0 0%
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Thread: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

  1. #231
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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by ThePlayDrive View Post
    They aren't "unfounded" just because attacks are rare. And even if such rarity made their fears "unfounded", it wouldn't make their fears any less worthy of attention. Why would you ask a question with such obvious answer?
    Unfounded wasn't the best word but it is close enough... people are swept away by tsunamis and rogue waves but having a constant fear of this happening each time I go to the beach borders on paranoia and is an unrealistic fear, in my opinion.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    I have pooped in public, even in public neighborhoods.
    Quote Originally Posted by OldFatGuy View Post
    Usually a gag for wise mouthed insulting little girls. Then some good nylon rope so I can tie them up, toss them in the trunk of my car and forget about them.

  2. #232
    Professor

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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhisattva View Post
    I was in minority areas hundreds of times, the only white guy many times and I was scared but nothing ever happened and in hind sight I over reacted.

    I am trying to find out if the fears are unfounded or valid, that's all.
    Umm, how is that relevant?

  3. #233
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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by Your Star View Post
    This just isn't about rape, it's a worry about some guy just hitting you because you didn't care for his advances. Obviously, those are extreme cases, but that fear does exist. I have it, and most women have it.

    But even discounting that, even if there was no fear of violence, most of the stuff in that video would still be harassment. Mild harassment in most cases, but still, unwarranted harassment. Just because a person is a woman doesn't mean that her body is open for comment from the entire world. It doesn't mean that she has to smile, and she is under no obligation to talk to anyone that she doesn't want to. And guys just don't get this kind of behavior hurled toward them. This kind of stuff generally only happens toward women. Seriously, if someone follows you around for 5 minutes right next to you, are you not gonna freak out?
    That was one guy in ten hours in a city of almost 10 million people... hardly evidence of anything but a nut case.

    Guys do get that type of harassment every day... from other guys who are eye-balling you, brush close to you to intimidate you, make comments to you, etc. Women do not have a monopoly on feeling uncomfortable or harassed. What I am trying to better understand is how saying "hi" or asking if you are "having a good day" or even "what is your name" translates into "harassment"?
    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    I have pooped in public, even in public neighborhoods.
    Quote Originally Posted by OldFatGuy View Post
    Usually a gag for wise mouthed insulting little girls. Then some good nylon rope so I can tie them up, toss them in the trunk of my car and forget about them.

  4. #234
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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by kerussll View Post
    Umm, how is that relevant?
    Is it realistic to be fearful? That is the point...
    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    I have pooped in public, even in public neighborhoods.
    Quote Originally Posted by OldFatGuy View Post
    Usually a gag for wise mouthed insulting little girls. Then some good nylon rope so I can tie them up, toss them in the trunk of my car and forget about them.

  5. #235
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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
    What 10 hours of street harassment looks like - CNN.com



    Now some of it is outright harassment, but is all of it?

    Please watch the rather short video.
    From websteronline:
    Full Definition of HARASS

    transitive verb
    1
    a : exhaust, fatigue
    b (1) : to annoy persistently (2) : to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct
    2
    : to worry and impede by repeated raids <harassed the enemy>
    It's not that each and every comment or wolf whistle was in and of itself vulgar or hostile, it's the annoying repititiveness of the comments (whatever the comments may be), like the definition above says. It is, as the definition states, uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct.

    As a woman, I know what this is like. I've had things said to me by strangers that no man has ever experienced or will ever experience.

    I used to smoke. I had an older man walk up to me and give me lecture on smoking, even though I was clearly an adult. Who invited him to approach me, a stranger, and lecture me on what I should do? He wouldn't have done that to a man. (I just told him that, well, maybe one day I would be perfect like him. He looked shocked! I don't know why. Maybe women don't typically speak back when he approaches them to lecture.)

    I've had the following said or happen to me:
    Hey...you! You shore are beeeeyuuuutiful!!!! (Hanging out a truck window from half a block away, as I walk into the grocery store.)

    You're ugly. (Said to me by a man as I walked into a convenience store.)

    Look at that ass. Mmmmm. Mmmmm.

    Woo Woo!

    Drive up behind me as I'm walking down the street (dressed conservatively), and honk repeatedly to scare me. Then yell at me as they pass, laughing.

    Hang out the window of a car, as I sit at a light and they're turning by me....hang out and do their lips "SMACK SMACK SMACK...SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH. YEAH BABY!"

    And of course, the much used, "PUSSY!"


    It's the repetitiveness of it. It's not WHAT they are saying. It's that I don't know them, I'm not inviting them to speak to me, I'm not speaking to them. They just feel they have a right to accost me verbally as I go about my business, minding my own business. It's not something a man experiences.

    A gay male friend once told me when I was complaining about having to walk somewhere by a construction site (we all know what that can be like), well, they'll probably give you catcalls, and that's great. Doesn't it make you feel good that if they like the way you look? Men just don't get it. I don't CARE what the construction workers think about me. I don't know them. And if I care whether they think I look good, then it follows that I'd care whether they don't like the way I look. And the fact is...I don't care either way. It's that I have a right to walk somewhere in peace, without being verbally assaulted.

    Oh, and there was the time a guy followed me to the grocery store in his car, and parked next to my car, and waited for me to come out of the store. At which point I could see that he had his pants pulled down & was masturbating right there by my driver's door, for my benefit.

    Oh, and there was the time I went to work on a Saturday, alone in the parking garage, and what should appear before my wondering eyes? No, not a reindeerr. But a fully naked guy walking back and forth, for my benefit, one level up. It was planned so that the cement bar covered his face, so I could only see from his chest to upper thighs. Scared me to death...I was alone in a dark downtown garage with a naked man who had planned things this way. Funny thing is...when I reported it to security in my building, they called the police, and then asked me what he looked like. They smiled when I had to admit that I couldn't exactly describe his FACE.
    ________________________________

  6. #236
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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by tres borrachos View Post

    Who the hell cares if someone looks at you? It's not like he's peeking in your bathroom windows or dropping a mirror under your skirt. When did it all change that it's somehow a bad thing when a man appreciates your appearance?
    Since a certain segment of "liberated" women decided that men are to be despised. For some reason, when women in my age group (and apparently younger) decided that liberation was a good thing, it meant that they could no longer enjoy a man's contribution to a relationship. It's the inability to see anything besides black and white. Personally, I love being a woman. I love being girly, and I love being bitchy sometimes, and I love having someone to balance those characteristics. As maddening as men can be at times, I love them for exactly what they are. There's a time and place for wolf whistles and sexual innuendo, and imo, out in public isn't that time and place, but I don't hold it against men that they appreciate a beautiful or sexy sight when they see it. I know I certainly appreciate it when just the sight of a man excites me. I wouldn't go around telling them, or saying anything, but it's perfectly natural.
    "God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my path violently and recklessly, all things which alter my plans and intentions, and change the course of my life, for better or for worse."
    -C G Jung

  7. #237
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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    Since a certain segment of "liberated" women decided that men are to be despised. For some reason, when women in my age group (and apparently younger) decided that liberation was a good thing, it meant that they could no longer enjoy a man's contribution to a relationship. It's the inability to see anything besides black and white. Personally, I love being a woman. I love being girly, and I love being bitchy sometimes, and I love having someone to balance those characteristics. As maddening as men can be at times, I love them for exactly what they are. There's a time and place for wolf whistles and sexual innuendo, and imo, out in public isn't that time and place, but I don't hold it against men that they appreciate a beautiful or sexy sight when they see it. I know I certainly appreciate it when just the sight of a man excites me. I wouldn't go around telling them, or saying anything, but it's perfectly natural.
    The video isn't about LOOKING or APPRECIATING. It's about uninvited, unwelcome verbal conduct. And a couple of instances of physical conduct (where two men walk right next to her for several minutes). Don't get a brief, tasteful appreciative look confused with intimidation or harassment. As a woman, I notice a good lookin' man, for sure. But I don't intrude on his day by yelling to him what I like or don't like about his appearance. He's a stranger, for gosh sakes.

    And don't forget that when it's a man talking to or yelling at a woman, that isn't about appreciation at all. It's another form of "putting her in her place." You don't do that to someone who is at your level or above your level, do you? No, you don't.

    It's no different if the man is saying "Hey, beautiful" or "Damn!" from "Hey, ugly." It's not WHAT they are saying. It's that they are walking up to a stranger and giving an opinion on her various parts, when they weren't asked. It's not about dating or romance. It's about control and even hostility sometimes.

    Most women don't hate men at all. After all, most women are mothers of men, sisters of men, aunts of men. Women aren't killing men every day. Women are the nurturers of the family, usually. The caregivers. It sells them short to try and portray them as man-hating feminists.

    This is just about a normal gal walking along, with things on her mind, being verbally accosted repeatedly along the way, when she hasn't done or said anything to invite that. That just doesn't happen to men.
    ________________________________

  8. #238
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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by JumpinJack View Post
    The video isn't about LOOKING or APPRECIATING. It's about uninvited, unwelcome verbal conduct. And a couple of instances of physical conduct (where two men walk right next to her for several minutes). Don't get a brief, tasteful appreciative look confused with intimidation or harassment. As a woman, I notice a good lookin' man, for sure. But I don't intrude on his day by yelling to him what I like or don't like about his appearance. He's a stranger, for gosh sakes.

    And don't forget that when it's a man talking to or yelling at a woman, that isn't about appreciation at all. It's another form of "putting her in her place." You don't do that to someone who is at your level or above your level, do you? No, you don't.

    It's no different if the man is saying "Hey, beautiful" or "Damn!" from "Hey, ugly." It's not WHAT they are saying. It's that they are walking up to a stranger and giving an opinion on her various parts, when they weren't asked. It's not about dating or romance. It's about control and even hostility sometimes.

    Most women don't hate men at all. After all, most women are mothers of men, sisters of men, aunts of men. Women aren't killing men every day. Women are the nurturers of the family, usually. The caregivers. It sells them short to try and portray them as man-hating feminists.

    This is just about a normal gal walking along, with things on her mind, being verbally accosted repeatedly along the way, when she hasn't done or said anything to invite that. That just doesn't happen to men.
    Yeah, I realize that was a departure from the original post. I was replying to Tres and the points she made.
    "God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my path violently and recklessly, all things which alter my plans and intentions, and change the course of my life, for better or for worse."
    -C G Jung

  9. #239
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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhisattva View Post
    Is it realistic to be fearful? That is the point...
    I have been fearful on the street when I'm harassed by men many times, and it was absolutely justified. You would be fearful seeing someone you cared about in some of these situations too.

  10. #240
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    Re: How Much Of This Is Truly Harassment????

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    Yeah, I realize that was a departure from the original post. I was replying to Tres and the points she made.
    Oh. Sorry. I didn't pay close enough attention.
    ________________________________

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