View Poll Results: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

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  • No, it's a legitimate question.

    28 87.50%
  • Yes, the abused reasons are their own, and nothing... not even continuing... is their fault.

    2 6.25%
  • Other.

    2 6.25%
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Thread: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

  1. #11
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by KevinKohler View Post
    Asking a question =/= blame.
    "How could anyone make such a ridiculous claim?"
    Quote Originally Posted by matchlight View Post
    Justice Thomas' opinions consistently contain precise, detailed constitutional analyses.
    Quote Originally Posted by jaeger19 View Post
    the vast majority of folks that need healthcare are on Medicare.. both rich and poor..

  2. #12
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by sangha View Post
    "How could anyone make such a ridiculous claim?"
    While posed as a question, with a question mark the end, that is more of a statement, rather than a question.
    Quote Originally Posted by calamity View Post
    Reports indicate that everyone knew he was hauling a bunch of guns up there. But, since you brought it up, there's something which should be illegal: guns that breakdown.

  3. #13
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by KevinKohler View Post
    While posed as a question, with a question mark the end, that is more of a statement, rather than a question.
    And "Why would a woman stay with a man who is abusing them?" can also be more of a statement. I'm glad you can recognize that statements can be posed as questions.

    That was *my* point
    Quote Originally Posted by matchlight View Post
    Justice Thomas' opinions consistently contain precise, detailed constitutional analyses.
    Quote Originally Posted by jaeger19 View Post
    the vast majority of folks that need healthcare are on Medicare.. both rich and poor..

  4. #14
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luftwaffe View Post
    Shouldn't have had kids with an abusive husband?

    I still cannot see why the woman shouldn't be blamed (and of course the husband in jail but that's a different and much clearer debate), in one situation she refuses to leave for god knows why in the other situation she had kids with an asshole for god knows why.
    There are many reasons and until you experience something like that you have no idea what you are talking about...
    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    I have pooped in public, even in public neighborhoods.
    Quote Originally Posted by OldFatGuy View Post
    Usually a gag for wise mouthed insulting little girls. Then some good nylon rope so I can tie them up, toss them in the trunk of my car and forget about them.

  5. #15
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhisattva View Post
    There are many reasons and until you experience something like that you have no idea what you are talking about...
    I don't.

    But I know myself, my opinion won't change on this, I will never see the point as I see nothing but a woman to blame.
    -----MOS 19D = cavalry scout = best damn MOS there is

  6. #16
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by sangha View Post
    And "Why would a woman stay with a man who is abusing them?" can also be more of a statement. I'm glad you can recognize that statements can be posed as questions.

    That was *my* point
    Oh yeah, I got your point.


    It clarifies the inherent weakness of the WRITTEN word, as opposed to spoken.

    Inflection goes a long way. I interpret the OP as posing this question in an honest, genuine attempt at understanding, not an accusation with a question mark at the end.

    Questions, REAL questions, asked in earnest, are NOT accusations.
    Quote Originally Posted by calamity View Post
    Reports indicate that everyone knew he was hauling a bunch of guns up there. But, since you brought it up, there's something which should be illegal: guns that breakdown.

  7. #17
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by herenow1 View Post
    Sometimes the abuse starts off small( push or a shove) or after the kid(s) is born. Some men don't handle coming in second place well. Btw, have you ever had a friend or know of someone who's been hit by their SO?
    ... and it happens to me almost just as often as it happens to women.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    I have pooped in public, even in public neighborhoods.
    Quote Originally Posted by OldFatGuy View Post
    Usually a gag for wise mouthed insulting little girls. Then some good nylon rope so I can tie them up, toss them in the trunk of my car and forget about them.

  8. #18
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luftwaffe View Post
    I don't.

    But I know myself, my opinion won't change on this, I will never see the point as I see nothing but a woman to blame.
    Opinions change with experience... that is something that experience teaches you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    I have pooped in public, even in public neighborhoods.
    Quote Originally Posted by OldFatGuy View Post
    Usually a gag for wise mouthed insulting little girls. Then some good nylon rope so I can tie them up, toss them in the trunk of my car and forget about them.

  9. #19
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhisattva View Post
    ... and it happens to me almost just as often as it happens to women.
    What happens? DV?

  10. #20
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    Re: Is asking why a woman stays with an abuser "blaming the victim"?

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    Is asking the question "blaming the victim"?

    I do not condone abuse in any way, shape, or form, and there is no excuse for it, but it seems to me that that is indeed a legitimate question. One can delve deeper and find out *why* they stay, and take that knowledge to encourage them to take action and escape, and that's what I think the true purpose behind asking why they stay is aimed at.
    No, it isn't blaming the victim. It's a legitimate question, and in some cases may even prompt the victim to ask the same of herself (or himself). Some people never even consider that what they are doing may be kind of screwed up, especially if they came from a childhood home where abuse was commonplace.
    "God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my path violently and recklessly, all things which alter my plans and intentions, and change the course of my life, for better or for worse."
    -C G Jung

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