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Re: Parents: Punishing Kids
Were did I say anything about physical discipline at all? Notice I said the word do. That entails anything. Fear and intimidation ARE appropriate and very useful tools especially when children are younger and more prone to impulsiveness and irrationality. My family has a long illustrious family tradition of child rearing, we have it down to a scientific based art form.
Example of use of intimidation for smaller more impulsive children. Child does something impulsive, say hit another child. Presumption they have done this before and have been told not to and disciplined previously. Technique. Stand tall with your well practiced stern glare, stride quickly with purposeful intent toward them and then lift by their shirt or belt (make sure said shirt or belt is securely on the child. It takes some practice to check quickly and still maintain intimidation) so they are at eye level from and say in a high volume stern strong voice "No". or "Enough" Then in a lower though still stern voice say "You do not hit people." Then carry said child to a corner and place them face toward said corner and say sternly and in a louder volume "Stay." Then in a lower stern voice "You will stay here, till I say otherwise. Understood." Always receive a verbal acknowledgement. Do not leave till you get one. You want to make sure they are not being in anyway defiant they will display this in body language and attitude and though refusal to comply with your demands. In this case we shall presume the child acknowledges they understand. You then stride away purposefully. And that point decide when the child may leave their "confinement".
Notice the techniques we are using involve intimidation and fear. The child in this case has hit another child previously and were corrected at that time and has now hit another child again. They know not to do this. Therefore quick decisive action was required. The first intimidation technique is sudden purposeful reaction, in this case lifting the child to eye level and looking it in the eyes. We are using height speed size and perception to physically cause fear and to intimidate. The second intimidation technique involves use of voice volume and inflection and tone and timber to intimidate to startling and though fear. The objective is to obtain the immediate and undivided attention of the child for the purposes of discipline and corrective action by taking advantage of natural instinctual reactions of children toward perceived threats. We are using to our advantage natural instinct in our children to correct, reinforce, and discipline in them. Though intelligent observation of our children's natural reactions we can begin to understand and customize corrective measures to each child individually to maximize effectiveness of said measures.
This is just a parenting failure. If your kids fear you will physically beat them, you are doing it wrong. Fear is not an appropriate tool for use child rearing. Punishments needs to happen to correct children, and sometimes and ass whoppin is needed. But if you are leaving marks, and damn sure if you are drawing blood, or if your kids fear being beaten by you, then you are failing and are a child abuser trying to justify the abuse. I do agree that our kids need to be well adjusted. They need to do the right thing because its the right thing to do, not be terrified of being beaten by their parents if they mess up.
Were did I say anything about physical discipline at all? Notice I said the word do. That entails anything. Fear and intimidation ARE appropriate and very useful tools especially when children are younger and more prone to impulsiveness and irrationality. My family has a long illustrious family tradition of child rearing, we have it down to a scientific based art form.
Example of use of intimidation for smaller more impulsive children. Child does something impulsive, say hit another child. Presumption they have done this before and have been told not to and disciplined previously. Technique. Stand tall with your well practiced stern glare, stride quickly with purposeful intent toward them and then lift by their shirt or belt (make sure said shirt or belt is securely on the child. It takes some practice to check quickly and still maintain intimidation) so they are at eye level from and say in a high volume stern strong voice "No". or "Enough" Then in a lower though still stern voice say "You do not hit people." Then carry said child to a corner and place them face toward said corner and say sternly and in a louder volume "Stay." Then in a lower stern voice "You will stay here, till I say otherwise. Understood." Always receive a verbal acknowledgement. Do not leave till you get one. You want to make sure they are not being in anyway defiant they will display this in body language and attitude and though refusal to comply with your demands. In this case we shall presume the child acknowledges they understand. You then stride away purposefully. And that point decide when the child may leave their "confinement".
Notice the techniques we are using involve intimidation and fear. The child in this case has hit another child previously and were corrected at that time and has now hit another child again. They know not to do this. Therefore quick decisive action was required. The first intimidation technique is sudden purposeful reaction, in this case lifting the child to eye level and looking it in the eyes. We are using height speed size and perception to physically cause fear and to intimidate. The second intimidation technique involves use of voice volume and inflection and tone and timber to intimidate to startling and though fear. The objective is to obtain the immediate and undivided attention of the child for the purposes of discipline and corrective action by taking advantage of natural instinctual reactions of children toward perceived threats. We are using to our advantage natural instinct in our children to correct, reinforce, and discipline in them. Though intelligent observation of our children's natural reactions we can begin to understand and customize corrective measures to each child individually to maximize effectiveness of said measures.