View Poll Results: is it ever allowable for a Parent to punish their child with force?

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  • Yes

    46 66.67%
  • No

    15 21.74%
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Thread: Parents: Punishing Kids [W:361]

  1. #71
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    I don't want my children to fear me. It's just not how I want my relationship with them to be built. If it was your father and I found out you were scared of me I would do whatever I could to correct it.
    They don't have to fear you, they have to fear what you will do and what you would think of them for their transgression. Fear is an appropriate tool to use in child rearing. My family believes in corporal punishment. We don't call it punishment, we call it correction. That said, because we know we are genetically a stubborn lot we keep said corporal corrections to a absolute minimum to maximize there effectiveness. Our familial personality traits tend to clannish, intelligent, stubborn, and ill-tempered. So raising our children can be a challenge. Which means we have to start early and utilize a variety of methods. It also means there can be no slack on the parents part, we have to do what we say will every single time and make no exceptions. We are parents first and foremost, friendship is just a possible fringe benefit of being a parent. Our job as we see it is to produce a successful well adjusted and acclimated offspring, complete with all the mental tools necessary to face and overcome adverse circumstances with relative ease and confidence.
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  2. #72
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by ecofarm View Post
    While I appreciate his opposition to seriously hurting children, I think everyone knows why lines are drawn regarding this subject - to excuse ones own actions.
    WTF is that supposed to mean. You don't see the difference in grabbing a weapon or the real nice "go pick out your switch, boy". Yea, great parenting by illiterates.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by ecofarm View Post
    If beating children teaches them something (other than using violence to get what one wants), why aren't beatings part of the justice system for adults?
    Most peoples methods to get their children to behave are based on control and that the parents are always right and there is never a reason to question their authority. I have found that most parents have the same goals, but where they fail is in understanding their children and instead treat them as somehow fundamentally different than adults. They are in fact not all that different and the approach we use for them really shouldn't be derived from control. Though I suppose most people deal with each other by desiring to control them, so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised.
    Last edited by Henrin; 09-19-14 at 04:13 PM.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateMk1 View Post
    They don't have to fear you, they have to fear what you will do and what you would think of them for their transgression. Fear is an appropriate tool to use in child rearing. My family believes in corporal punishment. We don't call it punishment, we call it correction. That said, because we know we are genetically a stubborn lot we keep said corporal corrections to a absolute minimum to maximize there effectiveness. Our familial personality traits tend to clannish, intelligent, stubborn, and ill-tempered. So raising our children can be a challenge. Which means we have to start early and utilize a variety of methods. It also means there can be no slack on the parents part, we have to do what we say will every single time and make no exceptions. We are parents first and foremost, friendship is just a possible fringe benefit of being a parent. Our job as we see it is to produce a successful well adjusted and acclimated offspring, complete with all the mental tools necessary to face and overcome adverse circumstances with relative ease and confidence.
    If it so much a challenge that you need the threat of a weapon to steer your child, maybe you should rethink having kids.

  5. #75
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by CRUE CAB View Post
    Um, yea it is once its a crime. Or you are say that anyone that pushes my buttons I am free to take a ball bat to their heads.
    I wouldn't acquit you and the bat incident especially if it were committed against anyone in general. I would acquit AP as he was attempting to do his duty as a parent. It is not my place to interfere.
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  6. #76
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by CRUE CAB View Post
    Don't be coy, you know what I mean. You use a belt, switch, branch or whatever beyond the open hand. You should go to jail.
    What? I have used belts, rulers and a wooded dowel.

    What object is used does not matter at all. Yes, some objects may look "cruel"- in the same way that some guns look "scary".

    The amount of force used determines what is lawful and what is criminal. One parent could be well with in lawful force levels using a belt. Yet another parent could easily exceed lawful force levels using only his hands.

    I could, using my hands, exceed what is lawful. One of the reason why I sometimes use a belt is the psychological aspect gets the point across faster and also because fewer blows are needed to make an impression.

    Quote Originally Posted by CRUE CAB View Post
    If it so much a challenge that you need the threat of a weapon to steer your child, maybe you should rethink having kids.
    Once again, what object is used is totally and completely immaterial to the question whether the action was legal or not.
    Last edited by Cryptic; 09-19-14 at 04:15 PM.

  7. #77
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateMk1 View Post
    They don't have to fear you, they have to fear what you will do and what you would think of them for their transgression. Fear is an appropriate tool to use in child rearing. My family believes in corporal punishment. We don't call it punishment, we call it correction. That said, because we know we are genetically a stubborn lot we keep said corporal corrections to a absolute minimum to maximize there effectiveness. Our familial personality traits tend to clannish, intelligent, stubborn, and ill-tempered. So raising our children can be a challenge. Which means we have to start early and utilize a variety of methods. It also means there can be no slack on the parents part, we have to do what we say will every single time and make no exceptions. We are parents first and foremost, friendship is just a possible fringe benefit of being a parent. Our job as we see it is to produce a successful well adjusted and acclimated offspring, complete with all the mental tools necessary to face and overcome adverse circumstances with relative ease and confidence.
    This is just a parenting failure. If your kids fear you will physically beat them, you are doing it wrong. Fear is not an appropriate tool for use child rearing. Punishments needs to happen to correct children, and sometimes and ass whoppin is needed. But if you are leaving marks, and damn sure if you are drawing blood, or if your kids fear being beaten by you, then you are failing and are a child abuser trying to justify the abuse. I do agree that our kids need to be well adjusted. They need to do the right thing because its the right thing to do, not be terrified of being beaten by their parents if they mess up.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by iacardsfan View Post
    With the recent news of Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson being charged with child abuse in possibly two separate cases, I thought it would be a good time to pose the question of where to draw the line in punishing a child. It was always acceptable for me to get a spanking or slap when I was out of line as a kid, and that wasn't overly long ago. Now all of a sudden, Mr. Peterson is in hot water as a result. Granted, I was never spanked with a stick, but there were always some interesting objects involved. I just wanted to know if you believe it is allowable for an adult to use force that does not cause permanent damage in order to teach/ discipline their children. Please explain you answer.
    Up until the age that I can get them hooked on something else (TV, Internet, Video Games, Computer, Cell Phone) I'll use the paddle. However, if you can build the right relationship with your kid, then even that isn't necessary. However, there are some kids out there that nothing else will do.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Cryptic View Post
    What? I have used belts, rulers and a wooded dowel.

    What object is used does not matter at all. Yes, some objects may look "cruel"- in the same way that some guns look "scary".

    The amount of force used determines what is lawful and what is criminal. One parent could be well with in lawful force levels using a belt. Yet another parent could easily exceed lawful force levels using only his hands.

    I could, using my hands, exceed what is lawful. One of the reason why I sometimes use a belt is the psychological aspect gets the point across faster and also because fewer blows are needed to make an impression.
    You are still going after someone with a weapon. Get mad at your neighbor and hit up side the head with a wooden dowel. See how it works out. Should be no different for your child.
    An open hand to the butt through clothing is no going to injure or wound a child. Unless you cant control your anger and temper and wail away.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Cryptic View Post
    What? I have used belts, rulers and a wooded dowel.

    What object is used does not matter at all. Yes, some objects may look "cruel"- in the same way that some guns look "scary".

    The amount of force used determines what is lawful and what is criminal. One parent could be well with in lawful force levels using a belt. Yet another parent could easily exceed lawful force levels using only his hands.

    I could, using my hands, exceed what is lawful. One of the reason why I sometimes use a belt is the psychological aspect gets the point across faster and also because fewer blows are needed to make an impression.
    I agree with this. You can spank a child with a belt within reason, and go too far with your hand.

    Don't be coy, you know what I mean. You use a belt, switch, branch or whatever beyond the open hand. You should go to jail.
    I would suggest rather than the means, the ends. If a mark can be seen more than a day or two after the whoopin then its abuse.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
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