View Poll Results: is it ever allowable for a Parent to punish their child with force?

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    46 66.67%
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Thread: Parents: Punishing Kids [W:361]

  1. #331
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    Some kids respond better to lectures. Some kids respond better to guilt. Some kids respond better to 'time outs' or taking of toys. Some kids respond better to "the look". And yes, some kids respond better to spanking. A parent needing improvement in their parenting skills takes a "one size fits all" approach. Know your kid and respond appropriately.

    Exactly correct.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    Children are indeed different; they are lacking in self-restraint and reason, to the point of being a danger to themselves, until they reach an age and condition where they begin to act with more sense.

    In many cases their misbehavior can be dealt with well through means such as talking, scolding, time-outs or loss of privilege.

    Some behaviors, particularly those involving dangerous actions that place the child or others in imminent peril of harm or that involve highly anti-social acts or outright defiance, must be stopped immediately and an emotional impression must be made that will "stay with" the child, to emphatically deter repeat actions of this type. Spanking is effective in this role for many children where lesser punishments might not make sufficient lasting impression.

    As children get older and more amenable to reason, and more susceptible to punishments like loss of privilege, the need for spanking declines and eventually ceases. I never needed to use it after my son was about 8, for instance.



    As for resistance... well I've said this before. My son is now 18, and towers over me like a giant, though I am a rather large man. He was trained in martial arts from the time he could walk. I am getting a bit old whereas he is entering the prime of his strength. In short, if he wanted revenge he could probably take it. If he resented the way he was raised he could go live with his mother, she'd love that.


    On the contrary, he loves and respects me, and not only listens to me but seeks out my advice. We have a wonderful relationship. He has no desire to leave my home at this time. He is a very independent thinker and very much his own person. He has no issues with how he was raised and says he plans to raise his children in a similar manner, if he decides to have children.


    Being spanked as a young child did him no harm; in fact it probably did him no end of good, as he was a terror at 3 and difficult in Kindergarden and 1st grade, but became a model student by 3rd grade... the kind teachers gush over and swear they wish they had more of.


    These comparisons to uncontrolled violence just don't hold water. I would know; when I was 13 I was held and beaten bloody by a local gang that took a dislike to me, and that was far from my last experience with that sort of thing. There is no comparison; a good parent is correcting their child and trying to spare them the misery and ruin of growing up without learning that there are limits to one's will, not trying to physically harm them like a thug.
    I appreciate the sincerity of your response and I still completely disagree. You say you never spanked your son after age 8 and I say a six-year-old being spanked is learning a lesson about power and authority and humiliation that my son didn't need to learn and nor does any other child.
    I ain't backing off, not one inch. But I appreciate the thought in your response.
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  3. #333
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by KevinKohler View Post
    He's lucky. I had gotten into 3 fights, not started by me, before I ever even made it to middle school.


    Define hit? Because if you're telling me I can't spank my child, you're bat **** crazy.
    If you hit your child you deserve a shot in the mouth from someone you have no ability to defend yourself from. That's the position you put your child in. Fvcksakes, I don't hit a puppy I'm training. You hit your kid?
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  4. #334
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Grand Mal View Post
    If you hit your child you deserve a shot in the mouth from someone you have no ability to defend yourself from. That's the position you put your child in. Fvcksakes, I don't hit a puppy I'm training. You hit your kid?

    You're still equating a spanking to being punched in the mouth, and it is still a silly comparison.


    A properly conducted spanking merely causes a stinging sensation. It causes no physical damage nor bruises nor marks that can be seen a few hours later.


    OTOH I've been punched in the mouth by strong men on several occasions. They typically drew blood. Twice I lost teeth. Once my jaw was partially broken.


    The two things just do not compare, at all.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    You're still equating a spanking to being punched in the mouth, and it is still a silly comparison.


    A properly conducted spanking merely causes a stinging sensation. It causes no physical damage nor bruises nor marks that can be seen a few hours later.


    OTOH I've been punched in the mouth by strong men on several occasions. They typically drew blood. Twice I lost teeth. Once my jaw was partially broken.


    The two things just do not compare, at all.
    To repeat myself, you spanking your six-year-old is teaching him a lesson about authority and power and humiliation that my son never had to learn.
    I'm okay with my side. If you're okay with yours, we're done.
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  6. #336
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by CRUE CAB View Post
    Only with an open hand.
    If you need a weapon, you are a loser and have no control over your children.
    Or yourself, more likely.

    I would not (and do not plan to need to) resort to striking my child unless the behavior was very serious.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    No problem with spanking at all. Never had to spank my daughter though. Now I and my brothers were a different story. 3 boys close in age and well, it was hairy at times, lol. Switches, belts and the bane of children everywhere the good old Hot Wheel track. We needed it though, we did not really respond to threats or silly punishments. I mean it depends on each child.
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  8. #338
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by KevinKohler View Post
    Which you fail to extrapolate. Explain how you have come to the conclusion that I believe that violence is the answer to my problems due to my parents spanking me.


    Otherwise?



    Shut up.
    Simple. The fact that you use violence against your children rather than employing a more intelligent form of discipline.
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  9. #339
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    You're still equating a spanking to being punched in the mouth, and it is still a silly comparison.


    A properly conducted spanking merely causes a stinging sensation. It causes no physical damage nor bruises nor marks that can be seen a few hours later.


    OTOH I've been punched in the mouth by strong men on several occasions. They typically drew blood. Twice I lost teeth. Once my jaw was partially broken.


    The two things just do not compare, at all.
    Ok, how about a huge dude picking you off the ground and putting you over his knee. How about they even force you pull down your pants or just do it themselves. Comparable yet?

    You do realize it has been proven to cause psychological damage, right? There is really no debate on the issue at all. Denial is really all you guys have left here. Spanking is just some old bull**** that should have died out centuries ago.
    Last edited by Henrin; 09-23-14 at 03:11 AM.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by iacardsfan View Post
    Granted, I was never spanked with a stick, but there were always some interesting objects involved.
    I never got hit with a stick by my parents. However, when I was a kid we never put hot wheel tracks on our X-mas list.

    Funny, I never felt a need to whip my own children.

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