Now my ex-wife? She has slapped my eldest daughter in the face 5 or 6 times that I know of... that is not OK and rightfully is illegal.
That sounds like a punishment innacted in a moment of passion. She was angry, she slapped her.
Punishment needs ot be conducted by someone who has calmed. You don't see angry judges (outside of TV). There's a reason for that. It needs ot be seen by the child that it's not about anger. It's about punishment for a crime committed.
Some kids respond better to lectures. Some kids respond better to guilt. Some kids respond better to 'time outs' or taking of toys. Some kids respond better to "the look". And yes, some kids respond better to spanking. A parent needing improvement in their parenting skills takes a "one size fits all" approach. Know your kid and respond appropriately.
If, when defending your support for Donald Trump, and your response is,
"But but but... HILLARY!!!", then you lost the argument before you even began.
Children are indeed different; they are lacking in self-restraint and reason, to the point of being a danger to themselves, until they reach an age and condition where they begin to act with more sense.
In many cases their misbehavior can be dealt with well through means such as talking, scolding, time-outs or loss of privilege.
Some behaviors, particularly those involving dangerous actions that place the child or others in imminent peril of harm or that involve highly anti-social acts or outright defiance, must be stopped immediately and an emotional impression must be made that will "stay with" the child, to emphatically deter repeat actions of this type. Spanking is effective in this role for many children where lesser punishments might not make sufficient lasting impression.
As children get older and more amenable to reason, and more susceptible to punishments like loss of privilege, the need for spanking declines and eventually ceases. I never needed to use it after my son was about 8, for instance.
As for resistance... well I've said this before. My son is now 18, and towers over me like a giant, though I am a rather large man. He was trained in martial arts from the time he could walk. I am getting a bit old whereas he is entering the prime of his strength. In short, if he wanted revenge he could probably take it. If he resented the way he was raised he could go live with his mother, she'd love that.
On the contrary, he loves and respects me, and not only listens to me but seeks out my advice. We have a wonderful relationship. He has no desire to leave my home at this time. He is a very independent thinker and very much his own person. He has no issues with how he was raised and says he plans to raise his children in a similar manner, if he decides to have children.
Being spanked as a young child did him no harm; in fact it probably did him no end of good, as he was a terror at 3 and difficult in Kindergarden and 1st grade, but became a model student by 3rd grade... the kind teachers gush over and swear they wish they had more of.
These comparisons to uncontrolled violence just don't hold water. I would know; when I was 13 I was held and beaten bloody by a local gang that took a dislike to me, and that was far from my last experience with that sort of thing. There is no comparison; a good parent is correcting their child and trying to spare them the misery and ruin of growing up without learning that there are limits to one's will, not trying to physically harm them like a thug.
Fiddling While Rome Burns
Carthago Delenda Est
"I used to roll the dice; see the fear in my enemies' eyes... listen as the crowd would sing, 'now the old king is dead, Long Live the King.'.."