Fiddling While Rome Burns
Carthago Delenda Est
"I used to roll the dice; see the fear in my enemies' eyes... listen as the crowd would sing, 'now the old king is dead, Long Live the King.'.."
I wonder if more parents had an understanding of how a child's brain develops, would they still use corporal punishment and fear based parenting?
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind: Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson
Parenting from the Inside Out
Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
Brain-Based Parenting-The Neuroscience of Caregiving for Healthy Attachment
Last edited by Ceist; 09-20-14 at 10:17 PM.
When your kids do something wrong, do you look for the reason why and excuse it if you can understand why they did it, or do you punish them for what they did.
I do not go around slapping dogs, but if the two hyper dogs I have jump on me, yes I hit them, like a slap to get them off me.
The kid has to listen and do what I say without question for his own good.
Maybe with your kids it is a voting situation but not with mine.
if he is in danger of crossing the street with a car coming he needs to listen when I tell him to stop where he is. I don't care about his opinion that he wants to cross the street at that moment.
What is a 4 year old going to learn from being beaten like this by a parent?
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Children might break rules, but how can a child ever (especially at a young age) make rhyme or reason for their parents hugging and embracing them and then those same parents who you rely on for love and comfort go ape**** and take out of branch of a tree/belt/end of wood to beat the crap out of you?
Yes, children must be punished if they break rules, but to take your hand to them (or something in your hand) gives off the wrong message. It gives off the message that the ones who love you may hurt you. That violence is the best option to punish rule breakers. That using your voice and reason is second/third/forth to a good old beating.
That kind of message gives a child the wrong message because there is a good chance he will have a negative relationship with that parent, he will repeat the same behaviors in his life (whether it be on the street, in school, in his later relationship or towards his/her own child).
And there are countless of options parents can take instead of a physical assault on their own flesh and blood to discipline them. The only thing (according to most if not all experts) is that you have to be consequent and that is where most parents fail, especially the beating ones because often that parent is very very angry when they decide to punish that child and act accordingly. Learning out of fear is not a desirable way to teach anything to any living thing.
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We can say what we want about corporal punishment. I got spanked as a kid. I never interpreted it to mean that the ones I love are the ones I should fear. I interpreted it as if I choose to do things that I know will result in my being spanked, don't get caught.
And honestly, the belt shouldn't really start till they are, what, 8 or 9? I can't really recall, but...I only remember getting the belt when I was a bit older, not a toddler. Bu to try to hide your child from violence forever will simply result in a RUDE awakening when they are teenagers.
Humans are violent. And EVENTUALLY, one way or another, that fact WILL be driven home to your children.
"Half full or half empty doesn't matter. What matters is, you've only got half a glass...so what are you going to do about it?" - Me