I have an answer for everything...you may not like the answer or it may not satisfy your curiosity..but it will still be an answer. ~ Kal'Stang
My mind and my heart are saying I'm in my twenties. My body is pointing at my mind and heart and laughing its ass off. ~ Kal'Stang
Last edited by vesper; 09-20-14 at 08:18 AM.
Tell it, Vesper.
This is not to say that ADD/ADHD don't present; they do, and when they do, the school should alert parents to behavioral problems that may be symptomatic.
You're right; parents hollering aren't exactly modeling self-control. And then there are the too-permissive parents who simply tolerate bad behaviors. Someone I love very much mothered her two sons that way (and it began with absolutely no sounds when the baby is sleeping--no TV in another room, no conversations above a whisper....). Older one was kicked out of every kindergarten and elementary school he attended, including the pricey private ones for which his grandparents had to pay.
The younger one was my son's playmate. When they were 4, and we were all in my friend's backyard, her boy picked up a 2 x 4 (dad was building a tree house) and hit my kid in the back as hard as he could. My friend's response was to sweetly reply, "Now that wasn't very nice. I'm afraid your friend is going to have to leave now." Her kid's response was to turn the garden hose on his mother at full blast and not joking, and my friend just stood there and fought a 4-year old, all the while talking calmly about how it was important that he give her the hose.
Took everything I had not to go all ninja myself. All these years later, unbelievable!
Yikes. I had a somewhat similar situation when Son #1 was about 8 or 9. In my circle of friends was a dysfunctional father-son combo... the father let the son run him and dominate his life and get away with almost anything. Once the other man's son punched my son in front of all of us, for no reason. We were ALL staring at him like "are you NOT going to do something about that?" Well, basically he did nothing and even defended his son saying we didn't know what might have happened when we weren't looking. I just about blew my stack.
Then later in the day Junior was playing with a machete he'd picked up from where we were cutting brush, swinging it around haphazardly near the other children..... ARG. Again, nothing done other than a mild reprimand which clearly made NO impression.
After that I rarely brought my son around his unless I couldn't avoid it, and I told Sn1 if that boy ever hit him again he had my permission to beat the snot out of the brat, and if Permissive Paw didn't like it I'd whup HIS ass.
It actually wasn't too long after that when that guy was excluded from our little clique... turns out not only was he a ****ty father he also had a bad drinking problem...
Fiddling While Rome Burns
Carthago Delenda Est
"I used to roll the dice; see the fear in my enemies' eyes... listen as the crowd would sing, 'now the old king is dead, Long Live the King.'.."
I guess I'm never going to get over that kid picking up the 2 x 4 and hitting my kid as hard as he could for no reason and his mother doing nothing. Fortunately for our relationship, my friend and I have always lived 100 miles apart, so it was easy to keep my kids away from hers except a couple of times a year.