View Poll Results: is it ever allowable for a Parent to punish their child with force?

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  • Yes

    46 66.67%
  • No

    15 21.74%
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Thread: Parents: Punishing Kids [W:361]

  1. #221
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by vesper View Post
    I remember the bicycle ramps and all the trick riding on the bikes. It ended up with a broken arm. My son was a little dare devil. The day he got his driver's license is the day my hair started to turn gray. But parents these days seem to have really short fuses. The point I was trying to make is a parent really needs to remain calm and access the situation. Today, so many just start shooting off their mouths going on and on, screaming out of control when a paddling is swift and over and then forgiveness follows and it is forgotten in the sense you move on. You don't drag it out for weeks and months with groundings etc. Life is precious, give out the correction and move on. A parent should be focusing on building up not tearing down. Not everything a child does wrong warrants punishment. Sometimes the things they do that end up to be wrong were with the best of intentions. I can remember a time when my daughter and son wanted to get the lawn cut on a Friday afternoon before their dad got home so he wouldn't have to do it on Saturday. I thought it was sweet and gave the Okay. What I didn't know is they would fill the oil compartment with lighter fluid as the oil and lighter fluid were both in the same red bottle. Saturday came and we had to purchase a new lawnmower.
    Hehe, at least they tried! And you are absolutely correct, if they do wrong when trying to do something good then they shouldn't be punished. Just give a good chuckle/laugh and show them how to do it right the next time.
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Hamster Buddha View Post
    That doesn't negate the fact that there are kids out there that do require a spanking though. Like I said, there isn't a "one size fits all" when it comes to parenting, with my wife, she had such a relationship with her father that all he needed to do was say how disappointed he was with her, no force required. However, her brother had no respect for authority, and in fact during punishment would taunt it on, wanting it harder, and they would until he finally cried. The important part though came afterwards, and that was sitting him down and thinking about it letting him know that you still love him and that he learned the lesson.
    Just beating the kid harder and harder until he cries is extremely ****ed up. Honestly, that story pissed me off just reading it. **** that kids parents, seriously.
    Last edited by Henrin; 09-20-14 at 12:58 AM.

  3. #223
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    Just beating the kid harder and harder until he cries is extremely ****ed up. Honestly, that story pissed me off just reading it. **** that kids parents, seriously.
    And the way I put it out there, I can certainly understand as it would because it gives the perspective that they were abusing the kid to the point of real bodily harm. In this case, what occurred was that they started gentle and then built up, but never to the point that bruising developed. It's very important to know not only your strength, but just how much the kid can tolerate. If the only way to get their attention is by making them bleed or bruising them, then of course it's gone to far and you need a new course of action.

  4. #224
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    Just beating the kid harder and harder until he cries is extremely ****ed up. Honestly, that story pissed me off just reading it. **** that kids parents, seriously.
    If the allegations against Peterson are true, that there are pictures of his 4 year old child with cuts still visible after a week from being hit with a switch, there is no excuse to ever justify it and we have laws in place to protect that child from it happening again. We also have laws to protect those who have been accused as they are innocent until proven guilty. For some time now there has been a group in our society that are attempting to make any form of spanking politically incorrect to the point that in public some parents fear giving their children a swat on the bottom when acting like heathens. Instead they allow them to throw themselves on the floor and go into a full fledged tantrum screaming, kicking and crying while standing over them trying to "talk" the child out of it. Every time I see a situation like that, you can't help but wonder if mom or dad spend a bit too much time talking and yelling instead of disciplining. Part of a parent's duty is to teach their child self control. Yelling, screaming till you are blue in the face is a parent out of control and a poor example to their children. My teacher friends often talk about the problems they have with out of control children in their classrooms. These kids take away precious learning time from the rest of class because the teacher has to deal with the situation. It use to be if you carried on in class you went to the principle's office and got a swat with the paddle. They no longer spank in school. Now it is not uncommon these days for kids with behavioral problems be put on drugs like Ritalin often at the request of the school. What's wrong with this picture?
    Last edited by vesper; 09-20-14 at 10:18 AM.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by iacardsfan View Post
    Poll: is it ever allowable for a Parent to punish their child with force?
    I realize you're talking about violence, but your poll says "force" and that could mean locking out their internet access.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Tell it, Vesper.

    This is not to say that ADD/ADHD don't present; they do, and when they do, the school should alert parents to behavioral problems that may be symptomatic.

    You're right; parents hollering aren't exactly modeling self-control. And then there are the too-permissive parents who simply tolerate bad behaviors. Someone I love very much mothered her two sons that way (and it began with absolutely no sounds when the baby is sleeping--no TV in another room, no conversations above a whisper....). Older one was kicked out of every kindergarten and elementary school he attended, including the pricey private ones for which his grandparents had to pay.

    The younger one was my son's playmate. When they were 4, and we were all in my friend's backyard, her boy picked up a 2 x 4 (dad was building a tree house) and hit my kid in the back as hard as he could. My friend's response was to sweetly reply, "Now that wasn't very nice. I'm afraid your friend is going to have to leave now." Her kid's response was to turn the garden hose on his mother at full blast and not joking, and my friend just stood there and fought a 4-year old, all the while talking calmly about how it was important that he give her the hose.

    Took everything I had not to go all ninja myself. All these years later, unbelievable!

  7. #227
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by nota bene View Post
    Tell it, Vesper.

    This is not to say that ADD/ADHD don't present; they do, and when they do, the school should alert parents to behavioral problems that may be symptomatic.

    You're right; parents hollering aren't exactly modeling self-control. And then there are the too-permissive parents who simply tolerate bad behaviors. Someone I love very much mothered her two sons that way (and it began with absolutely no sounds when the baby is sleeping--no TV in another room, no conversations above a whisper....). Older one was kicked out of every kindergarten and elementary school he attended, including the pricey private ones for which his grandparents had to pay.

    The younger one was my son's playmate. When they were 4, and we were all in my friend's backyard, her boy picked up a 2 x 4 (dad was building a tree house) and hit my kid in the back as hard as he could. My friend's response was to sweetly reply, "Now that wasn't very nice. I'm afraid your friend is going to have to leave now." Her kid's response was to turn the garden hose on his mother at full blast and not joking, and my friend just stood there and fought a 4-year old, all the while talking calmly about how it was important that he give her the hose.

    Took everything I had not to go all ninja myself. All these years later, unbelievable!

    Yikes. I had a somewhat similar situation when Son #1 was about 8 or 9. In my circle of friends was a dysfunctional father-son combo... the father let the son run him and dominate his life and get away with almost anything. Once the other man's son punched my son in front of all of us, for no reason. We were ALL staring at him like "are you NOT going to do something about that?" Well, basically he did nothing and even defended his son saying we didn't know what might have happened when we weren't looking. I just about blew my stack.

    Then later in the day Junior was playing with a machete he'd picked up from where we were cutting brush, swinging it around haphazardly near the other children..... ARG. Again, nothing done other than a mild reprimand which clearly made NO impression.

    After that I rarely brought my son around his unless I couldn't avoid it, and I told Sn1 if that boy ever hit him again he had my permission to beat the snot out of the brat, and if Permissive Paw didn't like it I'd whup HIS ass.

    It actually wasn't too long after that when that guy was excluded from our little clique... turns out not only was he a ****ty father he also had a bad drinking problem...

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  8. #228
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by vesper View Post
    I remember the bicycle ramps and all the trick riding on the bikes. It ended up with a broken arm. My son was a little dare devil. The day he got his driver's license is the day my hair started to turn gray. But parents these days seem to have really short fuses. The point I was trying to make is a parent really needs to remain calm and access the situation. Today, so many just start shooting off their mouths going on and on, screaming out of control when a paddling is swift and over and then forgiveness follows and it is forgotten in the sense you move on. You don't drag it out for weeks and months with groundings etc. Life is precious, give out the correction and move on. A parent should be focusing on building up not tearing down. Not everything a child does wrong warrants punishment. Sometimes the things they do that end up to be wrong were with the best of intentions. I can remember a time when my daughter and son wanted to get the lawn cut on a Friday afternoon before their dad got home so he wouldn't have to do it on Saturday. I thought it was sweet and gave the Okay. What I didn't know is they would fill the oil compartment with lighter fluid as the oil and lighter fluid were both in the same red bottle. Saturday came and we had to purchase a new lawnmower.
    That's priceless! : What I find objectionable are the parents that let their kids run around wild in restaurants and other places, while they totally ignore them! WTH are they thinking?

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by polgara View Post
    That's priceless! : What I find objectionable are the parents that let their kids run around wild in restaurants and other places, while they totally ignore them! WTH are they thinking?
    I think a lot of parents are "out to lunch", they only see what they want to see.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    Yikes. I had a somewhat similar situation when Son #1 was about 8 or 9. In my circle of friends was a dysfunctional father-son combo... the father let the son run him and dominate his life and get away with almost anything. Once the other man's son punched my son in front of all of us, for no reason. We were ALL staring at him like "are you NOT going to do something about that?" Well, basically he did nothing and even defended his son saying we didn't know what might have happened when we weren't looking. I just about blew my stack.

    Then later in the day Junior was playing with a machete he'd picked up from where we were cutting brush, swinging it around haphazardly near the other children..... ARG. Again, nothing done other than a mild reprimand which clearly made NO impression.

    After that I rarely brought my son around his unless I couldn't avoid it, and I told Sn1 if that boy ever hit him again he had my permission to beat the snot out of the brat, and if Permissive Paw didn't like it I'd whup HIS ass.

    It actually wasn't too long after that when that guy was excluded from our little clique... turns out not only was he a ****ty father he also had a bad drinking problem...
    I hope that kid turned out "okay." My friend's sons, to the amazement of everyone, including all four grandparents, ultimately did.

    I guess I'm never going to get over that kid picking up the 2 x 4 and hitting my kid as hard as he could for no reason and his mother doing nothing. Fortunately for our relationship, my friend and I have always lived 100 miles apart, so it was easy to keep my kids away from hers except a couple of times a year.

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