View Poll Results: is it ever allowable for a Parent to punish their child with force?

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  • Yes

    46 66.67%
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    15 21.74%
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Thread: Parents: Punishing Kids [W:361]

  1. #211
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    I think that if your only recourse to teach your children to behave is physical violence than that person needs a course on parenting because it is the least desirable option to deal with raising a child, and IMHO it should not be seen as an option at all.

    I am an admirer of the views of Dr. Phil on this issue. He has posted research about spanking and the cons among others are:

    - Long-term consequences of spanking can include increased aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and delinquency.

    - Weaker associations for spanking such as a failure to learn right from wrong, subsequent criminal behavior, mental illness, and child or spouse abuse as adults, have also been suggested.

    - Physical punishment can send mixed messages to a child and reinforce aggressive behavior. When parents model aggressive behaviors by spanking, they reinforce the idea that physical aggression is the way to get what you want.

    - Spanking is associated with a poorer relationship between the parent and child. Children who were spanked feel less attached to their parents and less trusting of them. The more the child was spanked, the less close the parent/child relationship.


    Beating a child of 4 with a part of a tree until visible wounds are found on his body is insane and should be punishable. And even worse is the attitude of the moron Peterson.

    He talks about popping his son (4 frigging years old) 5 more times because he did not cry. How idiotic do you have to be do think that way. And that he has to a system on him because not crying is another indicator that a new system is needed because beating a child to that extend did not "serve it's purpose". His wife responded that he is wrong to hit him until he cries and that such behavior from a grown asshole NFL player whom the child must see as a bit of a giant with his 6.1 and 217 pounds (compared to a 4 year old). His wife also wrote that "he's trying to be strong for you. He's afraid of you. He's 4, he's not playing mind games on you".

    If I were a judge in that district, I would only allow supervised visits for a very long time (if I would allow visits at all). But that is my personal opinion.
    Former military man (and now babysitter of Donald Trump) John Kelly, is a big loud lying empty barrel!

  2. #212
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Easily debunked self-serving fantasy is capable of "countering" nothing whatsoever.
    The funny thing is he's not referring to me, he's referring to sociology.

  3. #213
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter King View Post
    I think that if your only recourse to teach your children to behave is physical violence than that person needs a course on parenting because it is the least desirable option to deal with raising a child, and IMHO it should not be seen as an option at all.

    I am an admirer of the views of Dr. Phil on this issue. He has posted research about spanking and the cons among others are:

    - Long-term consequences of spanking can include increased aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and delinquency.

    - Weaker associations for spanking such as a failure to learn right from wrong, subsequent criminal behavior, mental illness, and child or spouse abuse as adults, have also been suggested.

    - Physical punishment can send mixed messages to a child and reinforce aggressive behavior. When parents model aggressive behaviors by spanking, they reinforce the idea that physical aggression is the way to get what you want.

    - Spanking is associated with a poorer relationship between the parent and child. Children who were spanked feel less attached to their parents and less trusting of them. The more the child was spanked, the less close the parent/child relationship.

    The worst part is everything you said is all very well documented and has been for some time now, and still people support spanking their kid. It's amazing really.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by ecofarm View Post
    I'll try one more time:

    Why are we a part of society? What makes it worth it? Why not cast it aside. Well, there are justifications for society. A main one is the justice system. It justifies society through protection (incarceration) and redemption (rehabilitation). Those things make society worth being a part of. For example:

    When someone is locked up, it is to protect society and provide an opportunity for redemption. The person is not locked up to hurt them. I think it's kinda sick that someone would conceive of the justice system as a mechanism for hurting people instead of as a mechanism for helping society. Justice is for society, not a person.
    That is certainly your theory on the matter. Again, however, even putting aside the question of whether your theory is even valid in the first place, the simple fact of the matter is that observable reality does not support the conclusions you have put forward.

    The "redemptive" function to which you refer is virtually non-existent in the modern American justice system. Our prisons serve only to destroy lives, and arguably create more criminal behavior than they prevent, by making it exponentially harder for incarcerated persons to be financially or socially successful after their release.

    The only function they truly serve is to punish, isolate, and make an example of persons whom American society views as being "undesirable," so that others will not follow the same path. Unfortunately, they simply are not particularly effective in that goal.

    Quote Originally Posted by ecofarm View Post
    The funny thing is he's not referring to me, he's referring to sociology.
    Or, rather, your politically charged and non-objective use of sociology.

    The field has always been rather questionable, and, frankly, always will be. However, it is not always so uselessly obtuse as your arguments may make it seem.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 09-19-14 at 09:13 PM.

  5. #215
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Or, rather, your politically charged and non-objective use of sociology.

    The field has always been rather questionable, and, frankly, always will be. However, it is not always so uselessly obtuse as your arguments may make it seem.
    You ran so easily.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Sociology is junk science and pretty much always has been.


    The "redemptive" function to which you refer is virtually non-existent in the modern American justice system.
    Irrelevant, the opportunity is provided because it justifies society.

    The only function they truly serve is to punish, isolate, and make an example of persons whom American society views as being "undesirable," so that others will not follow the same path. Unfortunately, they simply are not particularly effective in that goal.
    A horrible misconception and impossible goal.
    Last edited by ecofarm; 09-19-14 at 09:19 PM.

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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by ecofarm View Post
    You ran so easily.
    My position has not changed.

    Sociology is, by and large, junk science, and quite easily susceptible to the kind of non-objective ideologized shenanigans which form the entire basis of your DP persona. It does have some redeeming features here and there, however, at least when used properly.

    Irrelevant, the opportunity is provided because it justifies society.
    Annnnnnnd again, you heard it here first folks, ideological principle trumps workable reality.

    This is basically Eco's entire worldview in a nutshell.

    A horrible misconception and impossible goal.
    It is the undeniable reality of our present system, whether you like it or not.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 09-19-14 at 09:29 PM.

  7. #217
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Moderator's Warning:
    Parents: Punishing Kids [W:361] Eco, Gathomas, leave it be.

    Fiddling While Rome Burns
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  8. #218
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by polgara View Post
    Greetings, Vesper.

    Loved the story about your son's pulley system! My son hauled dirt and made a ramp in our front yard he could ride his bike off of, going airborne and "flying" for a while.

    In retrospect, though, it seems that we sure had a lot more fun making do with our imaginations than kids do today. It was fun playing baseball, girls included, and holding contests to see who could win a race jumping along in burlap bagsl Leaving the house in the summer and not showing up until lunch, then back outside till dinner! And in the Winter, all the neighbor kids sledding, way past the time it got dark, down the middle of the street on the steepest hill in the area, and loving every scary minute of it! Memories....

    I've got to leave in a few minutes to go to my birthday party at our local watering hole! It promises to be fun! See you tomorrow!
    I remember the bicycle ramps and all the trick riding on the bikes. It ended up with a broken arm. My son was a little dare devil. The day he got his driver's license is the day my hair started to turn gray. But parents these days seem to have really short fuses. The point I was trying to make is a parent really needs to remain calm and access the situation. Today, so many just start shooting off their mouths going on and on, screaming out of control when a paddling is swift and over and then forgiveness follows and it is forgotten in the sense you move on. You don't drag it out for weeks and months with groundings etc. Life is precious, give out the correction and move on. A parent should be focusing on building up not tearing down. Not everything a child does wrong warrants punishment. Sometimes the things they do that end up to be wrong were with the best of intentions. I can remember a time when my daughter and son wanted to get the lawn cut on a Friday afternoon before their dad got home so he wouldn't have to do it on Saturday. I thought it was sweet and gave the Okay. What I didn't know is they would fill the oil compartment with lighter fluid as the oil and lighter fluid were both in the same red bottle. Saturday came and we had to purchase a new lawnmower.

  9. #219
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    The punishment should fit the crime. The End.

  10. #220
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    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by iacardsfan View Post
    With the recent news of Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson being charged with child abuse in possibly two separate cases, I thought it would be a good time to pose the question of where to draw the line in punishing a child. It was always acceptable for me to get a spanking or slap when I was out of line as a kid, and that wasn't overly long ago. Now all of a sudden, Mr. Peterson is in hot water as a result. Granted, I was never spanked with a stick, but there were always some interesting objects involved. I just wanted to know if you believe it is allowable for an adult to use force that does not cause permanent damage in order to teach/ discipline their children. Please explain you answer.
    As a child I was subjected to lots of spankings. Open hand, bare butt, switch, willow switch, different kinds of belts, wooden paddle, wood spoon on my hands and when I stole something as a child my parents even put me in a corner with my hands tied behind my back.

    That said, all i've done to my kids is spanked with an open hand, twice an open hand on bare butt. Rest of the time a simple grounding or threat of some various punishment or other is sufficient to make them behave. Indeed I haven't had to actually spank my children in about 3-4 years or so. My oldest is 9, youngest is 7. They are very well behaved.....most of the time. (kids will be kids after all) And not ONCE did I ever spank them when I was mad. If I got mad I would put myself in a time out until I calmed down enough to where I wasn't angry anymore. Then I spanked them. Never more than 4 swats, never less than 2. How many they received depended on the severity of the wrong they did.

    In the end I believe spanking is a tool that should be used when the occasion warrants it and then only as a last resort. And it should NEVER EVER be done when angry/mad.
    I have an answer for everything...you may not like the answer or it may not satisfy your curiosity..but it will still be an answer. ~ Kal'Stang

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