View Poll Results: is it ever allowable for a Parent to punish their child with force?

Voters
69. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes

    46 66.67%
  • No

    15 21.74%
  • Other (explain)

    8 11.59%
Page 11 of 39 FirstFirst ... 91011121321 ... LastLast
Results 101 to 110 of 382

Thread: Parents: Punishing Kids [W:361]

  1. #101
    Guru
    Hamster Buddha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Last Seen
    10-14-15 @ 06:10 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Libertarian
    Posts
    3,675

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by pinqy View Post
    My parents never used force. I have never used force. It's not necessary to use force. It's not necessarily bad to spank..and that might be a good option in many cases...but force is not necessary..there are many other punishment options.
    It's not a question of how many options there are, it's a question about which is most effective. Sometimes, a spanking is all there is. I do think it's the last resort, because you never want to see a child (especially your child) in tears. Nevertheless, it doesn't change the fact that sometimes it is all that's left.

  2. #102
    Sage
    Winchester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Last Seen
    Yesterday @ 11:19 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Other
    Posts
    5,477

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry View Post
    The most devastating punishment I ever gave to my oldest (10, at the time) was right after he lost his temper and went after a cousin with a hammer. I gave him the long stare and said "I am disappointed in you".

    He fell apart instantly with the crying and apologizing.

    I never had to touch him. The 'dad voice, the look, and those words took him apart.

    I built him back up later by giving him special chores to do for his cousin and his aunt. He actually did a very good job as he wanted to redeem himself. Later I told him that I was proud of him for realizing his mistake, doing a good job with the make-up chores, and when I said the words "you aren't in trouble anymore" he started crying in relief.

    IMO if you have to strike a child for anything other than legit self-defense (I've experienced some violent little children let me tell you what I have stories) or just to get their attention, you've already lost the situation.
    Parental approval/disappointment was IMO the most effective parenting tool when raising the kids. Something I don't think anyone ever quite grows out of. Giving them a swift swat on the butt (used very sparingly) had it's place when they were very young but once you could talk to them (and they understood) IMO not much use for it.

  3. #103
    Sage
    Kreton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Colorado Springs
    Last Seen
    11-13-17 @ 08:01 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Other
    Posts
    6,118

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Hamster Buddha View Post
    Oh hippie nonsense. Fear of punishment is a great tool (especially when the boys come calling for your little girl), as long as the child also knows you love them. You look at the kids who were raised 30,40, or 50 years ago (or more), they didn't have any trouble growing up adjusted. Have you seen the suicide rates among young people? It's worse today than it ever was back then! Obviously, they're not growing up "well adjusted".
    And kids are getting their asses beaten today too. There is no connection there. The idea that kids will commit suicide if they aren't abused is retarded.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
    Stephen R. Covey


  4. #104
    Sage
    Kreton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Colorado Springs
    Last Seen
    11-13-17 @ 08:01 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Other
    Posts
    6,118

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateMk1 View Post
    You don't jack or **** about how we raise our children. Notice nowhere in my quote did I mention once weapon, or implement or anything that could be construed as such.

    We have raised children in our family, as family, for centuries back to before we made the move here to America, can yours say that? So we know a thing or two. I doubt highly your family can claim the same.
    NO, you just said parents have a duty to beat their kids until they are feared enough. But as long as your family has been beating children for centuries that makes it ok. Do you enjoy beating women, animals, homeless, elderly or is it just children that its ok to beat?
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
    Stephen R. Covey


  5. #105
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    United States
    Last Seen
    01-21-16 @ 12:21 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    51,124

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Hamster Buddha View Post
    It also varies from parent to parent just how effective that punishment is. Father figures a lot of time have far more latitude to make the "I'm disappointed" argument. Mothers often don't have that sort of relationship with their kids in my experience.
    Oh man do I know the truth of that statement right there. The ex and I have been divorced for a while, she has the kids in another state....and she still has to use me as a threat to get them to do anything. My oldest especially will disrespect & disobey her at every turn until she says "Do I need to call your dad?" Then all of a sudden he straitens up. I first learned she still does that the very first time she called me to carry out her 'threat'. I guess she thought I was going to chew him out when she put him on the phone, but chewing out usually doesn't work. It's all in the dad voice. This is what you need to do, now go do it. You can feel mad or frustrated or however you want while you do it, that's ok, but you have to do it. So just get it don already.

    She got back on the phone and thought I chewed his ass real good because she said he went right to whatever it was he was fighting her over and just did it. Pretty quickly, too, and correctly. I wish I could claim credit for having some magical power but it's just how things are. Dads have more authoriah.

    I got him back on the phone later and let him talk about anything he wanted. I think just being comfortable talking to me about whatever crossed his mind (usually train related) got me respect and that's what compelled him to obey when I told him to do whatever.

  6. #106
    Guru
    Hamster Buddha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Last Seen
    10-14-15 @ 06:10 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Libertarian
    Posts
    3,675

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Kreton View Post
    And kids are getting their asses beaten today too. There is no connection there. The idea that kids will commit suicide if they aren't abused is retarded.
    Corporal Punishment isn't used at all to the same level is use to be. But if we are to believe that spankings are so detrimental to a child's development, then you can't deny that as time has moved on and it has been used less and less, children's frame of mind have been getting worse, not better. At the very least, this demonstrates that the negative repercussions have been blown out of proportions.

    Also, just because one spanks their child, doesn't mean their abused. There's a line there, and any good parent will know it.

  7. #107
    Guru
    Hamster Buddha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Last Seen
    10-14-15 @ 06:10 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Libertarian
    Posts
    3,675

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry View Post
    Oh man do I know the truth of that statement right there. The ex and I have been divorced for a while, she has the kids in another state....and she still has to use me as a threat to get them to do anything. My oldest especialy will disrespec & disobay her at every turn until she says "Do I need to call your dad?" Then all of a sudden he straignens up. I first learned she still does that the very first time she called me to carry out her 'threat'. I guess she thought I was going to chew him out when she put him on the phone, but chewing out usualy doesn't work. It's all in the dad voice. This is what you need to do, now go do it. You can feel mad or frustrated or however you want while you do it, that's ok, but you have to do it.

    She got back on the phone and thought I chewed his ass real good because she said he went right to whatever it was he was fighting her over and just did it. Pretty quickly, too, and correctly. I wish I could claim credit for having some magical power but it's just how things are. Dads have more authoriah.

    I got him back on the phone later and let him talk about anything he wanted. I think just being comfortable talking to me about whatever crossed his mind (usually train related) got me respect and that's what compelled him to obey when I told him to do whatever.

  8. #108
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Melbourne Florida
    Last Seen
    04-18-17 @ 03:15 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Other
    Posts
    16,763

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateMk1 View Post
    You don't jack or **** about how we raise our children. Notice nowhere in my quote did I mention once weapon, or implement or anything that could be construed as such.

    We have raised children in our family, as family, for centuries back to before we made the move here to America, can yours say that? So we know a thing or two. I doubt highly your family can claim the same.
    Any thing you hold in your hand to beat someone is a weapon. I don't care how many centuries you go back.

  9. #109
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Last Seen
    07-19-17 @ 03:51 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Libertarian
    Posts
    60,458

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateMk1 View Post
    They don't have to fear you, they have to fear what you will do and what you would think of them for their transgression. Fear is an appropriate tool to use in child rearing. My family believes in corporal punishment. We don't call it punishment, we call it correction. That said, because we know we are genetically a stubborn lot we keep said corporal corrections to a absolute minimum to maximize there effectiveness. Our familial personality traits tend to clannish, intelligent, stubborn, and ill-tempered. So raising our children can be a challenge. Which means we have to start early and utilize a variety of methods. It also means there can be no slack on the parents part, we have to do what we say will every single time and make no exceptions. We are parents first and foremost, friendship is just a possible fringe benefit of being a parent. Our job as we see it is to produce a successful well adjusted and acclimated offspring, complete with all the mental tools necessary to face and overcome adverse circumstances with relative ease and confidence.
    It is the stubborn man that refuses to accept things for how they are that changes the world. A balanced individual does what he pleases, but knows what is right. He does not simply follow the rules because they are the rules, but because he knows it is right to follow the rules and he accepts them on the grounds of reason, not on the grounds of obedience. I do not desire to make my children obedient in the name of obedience, but to make them understand what is right.

  10. #110
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Melbourne Florida
    Last Seen
    04-18-17 @ 03:15 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Other
    Posts
    16,763

    Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Hamster Buddha View Post
    A child, one below 5 years old, cannot be compared to a full grown adult who has fully matured. That is ridiculous.
    Or even a teen ager. Beating a 4 year old like Petersen did is out of bounds. Period.

Page 11 of 39 FirstFirst ... 91011121321 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •