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Humerous sayings that the Old-Timers among us used to amuse us with

polgara

polgara

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The other day Helix posted a few very funny colloquialisms that his GF's grandpa used to describe things. I remembered quite a few myself that I have heard over the years, and thought it might be interesting and fun to hear some that others remember old-timers saying. Different regions of the country expressed their thoughts in unique ways!

I remember my late mother-in-law stating "I may have been born yesterday, but watch out because I lived all day long." Also, "That girl was homely as sin, but she was kind, bless her heart!" Everyone nodded in agreement. :lol: from North Carolina
 
"I may have been born yesterday, but watch out because I lived all day long."
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Good one.
 
Well, during my childhood there were myriad references to the "Dunce Cap".

I figure "Head for the roundhouse, Nellie! He can't corner you there!" might qualify. Same probably goes for "Now we're cooking with gas!"
 
"That kid couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the sole!"
 
......
 

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"That's about as useful as a television on a honeymoon" -- said about anything at all that was useless.
 
Dezaad said:
"That's about as useful as a television on a honeymoon" -- said about anything at all that was useless.
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Coming from a farming community we had a slight twist on that one. "That's about as useful as tits on a bull". On occasion I inexplicably still blurt that out...
 
For a fat girl she don't sweat much.

You couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle.
 
"I'll be goddamned if my daughter's going to have a brown baby."

My grandmother was kind of terrible, actually.
 
My friends grandpa used to say this when he saw us sitting\standing around: "There you guys are just laying around licking your balls"
 
"I feel sorry for ya when you turn 90, because you'll look terrible"

My great grandpa when everyone realized I looked exactly like him (when he was younger) :mrgreen:

What a great guy :2usflag:

Also, "I hate Obama, that guys a freaking idiot"

:mrgreen:
 
"I was born at night, but it wasn't last night."

"Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one."

"It took 30 seconds to teach him everything he knows."

"It's colder than a welldigger's ass."

"Don't eat the yellow snow."

"Your eyeballs look like two pissholes in the snow." Usually related to a hangover.
 
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"
"Cute as a bug in a rug."
"Because I'm the Mommy - that's why."
"Awesome, dude."
"Dingbat!" (that was from All In The Family)
"Neato."
"Groovy."
"Far out!"
 
Get down off of there! When you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me crying. (to a child)

Wow, that's colder than a gold-diggers heart! (referring to a nasty comment.)
 
It's hotter than two foxes ****ing in a forest fire.

As slow as Molasses in January.

About as fast as old people ****.

Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.
 
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