What do you base this statement on?
I tend to think the squeakiest wheel gets the most grease. So some extremely vocal feminists make a lot of noise and achieve maybe 20% of what their agenda is. They typically don't represent the majority of people who promote or support equality for women.
I am basing it on a number of observations. For example a rise in the sentiment that a woman who prefers to stay home rather than work is something that is negative.
But what is it, what behaviors exhibit confidence in a man? That's the question. For me, a man who can gracefully accept defeat, who is reflective and does not feel the need to overtly control the room or insert himself inappropriately to service his pride is a confident man. That's very sexy and as a woman, i feel like I can trust this man more to take control when he is best suited and the outcome of his being in control is genuinely in the best interests of everyone involved rather than just to serve his ego.
I agree with what you have said here. Which is why I said to another poster that arrogance is not a symptom of true confidence and strength. One of the big problems that I have with our present culture is that it has the tendency to inculcate the value that somehow you always have to be the victor or always have to be the boss in order to be successful. It's total BS crap. No one can win every contest. No one can always be the boss. And while I'm on that "boss" notion, there is no boss. We are all servants of one another and the environment. A man should consider himself to be the servant of his queen. That he is so fortunate to have been given such a beautiful, wonderful, flower to help make an otherwise miserable existence enjoyable. Therefore he will not mind working very hard in order to make her happy. There is no "boss."
BTW, it's a different topic, but that is the problem that I have with neocon foreign policy. It's either the US has to get it's way, or it is considered weak. It's total BS, and that is a big problem with the way we try to run the world. It is very dangerous.
IMO what most women really want and desire is to be heard and respected.
Again, I agree, and they should be heard and given the utmost respect. That will naturally flow if men consider themselves the servant of their queen. But no, we teach everyone the arrogant principle that you have to always win, always be on top, otherwise you are a loser. Such a destructive culture.
Think about that for a minute. Why would they?
Because they are confused. And part of that is the result of a culture that tends to value money, hubris, and arrogance over knowledge, humility and respect for others. It's very unfortunate.
Why would a man want a woman who was attracted to him because of the things her could buy for her?? Is that a quality woman? Or is that man just looking for a trophy?
It's not the sole basis of the attraction, but it is a factor. How many women want to support a man that doesn't want to engage in any type of productive work, but just sit around play video games, eat and have sex?
I disagree with you. I don't think that criticizing roles that are unhealthy for both men and woman is a negative thing. This perspective seems to be rooted in rather antiquated notions of what men and women provide each other in a relationship.
Well we certainly have a big disagreement if you feel that it is wrong for a man to want to project a sense of confidence and wrong for a woman to be attracted to a man that does. I have a very big problem with that. There is nothing unhealthy about that. I think the problem is that people have stupid notions about what real confidence is. That's what we need to focus on, not making men feel that their desire to project a sense of confidence is wrong.
This seems disconnected from the conversation to me.
Well it is connected because if you actually feel that it is wrong for men to want to project a sense of confidence, that is very unhealthy. And encouraging men to suppress such tendencies will create an environment in which various neurosis and frustration will develop. And from that flows anger and the desire to lash out and destroy, which makes people who advocate destruction attractive.