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Double Standard?

Is there a double standard with how domestic violence is viewed?

  • Total voters
    31
DiAnna said:
You're right, none of it is true.

This OP has nothing... and I mean nothing... to do with "feminism". It has to do which centuries-old societal norms that expect men to control their women, and any man who is "hen-pecked" to the point of being assaulted by a mere female is looked at with contempt and derision by... other men!

Were the cops who laughed at the man in The German's town who complained of being assaulted by his wife feminists? No, I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority if not all of them were men... men who pointed and laughed at him, men who derided him, men who insulted his masculinity instead of arresting the woman who'd committed a crime against him.

Women are quite capable of hurting a man, usually because they pick up a weapon to even things out, be that weapon a bat, a knife, or a hammer. Even in the US, men who have been verbally abused and physically assaulted by their wives or girlfriends are treated as laughing-stocks by the male police officers to whom he turns for help. It's a serious issue that has been ignored and kicked under the carpet for ages...

...but it has nothing to do with feminism, and everything to do with the cult male machismo which cannot wrap its brain around the fact that some pathetic little female can actually be a threat to someone twice her size and full of testosterone.

It's time to educate males and females that women who abuse men are just as liable for that abuse as men who abuse women. Then the justice system has to step in and make certain that actually happens.
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I stated that 86% of women that assault the man use a weapon so the damage is often quite severe.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Is there a double standard regarding violence against men, from women?

Man assaults woman. Bad. And it should be...

Woman assaults man. Funny. And it shouldn't be...

Just look at Jerry McGuire. He breaks up with girlfriend and she beats him up. Comedy.

Cops don't arrest women who assault a man in domestic situations.

27% of the time the man struck the first blow; in 24% of cases, the woman initiated the violence. The rest of the time, the violence was mutual, with both partners brawling.

Domestic violence against men - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Physical Violence in American Families, 1976 - Murray Arnold Straus, Richard J. Gelles - Google Books
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Yes there is.

 
Did the clown state why he didn't think there was a double standard?
 
Many police departments have taken to arresting both parties then letting others sort it out later. That's just as brain dead as so-called "zero tolerance" policies in that it allows the people who are supposed to be assessing the situation and making decisions accordingly to completely skip all responsibility.
 
DiAnna said:
You're right, none of it is true.

This OP has nothing... and I mean nothing... to do with "feminism". It has to do which centuries-old societal norms that expect men to control their women, and any man who is "hen-pecked" to the point of being assaulted by a mere female is looked at with contempt and derision by... other men!

Were the cops who laughed at the man in The German's town who complained of being assaulted by his wife feminists? No, I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority if not all of them were men... men who pointed and laughed at him, men who derided him, men who insulted his masculinity instead of arresting the woman who'd committed a crime against him.

Women are quite capable of hurting a man, usually because they pick up a weapon to even things out, be that weapon a bat, a knife, or a hammer. Even in the US, men who have been verbally abused and physically assaulted by their wives or girlfriends are treated as laughing-stocks by the male police officers to whom he turns for help. It's a serious issue that has been ignored and kicked under the carpet for ages...

...but it has nothing to do with feminism, and everything to do with the cult male machismo which cannot wrap its brain around the fact that some pathetic little female can actually be a threat to someone twice her size and full of testosterone.

It's time to educate males and females that women who abuse men are just as liable for that abuse as men who abuse women. Then the justice system has to step in and make certain that actually happens.
Click to expand...
I agree with this.
 
TeleKat said:
I hate to tell you, but it is. I've been to feminist meetings. I've met feminists. I've joined feminist groups. Most of the women involved are more concerned with their own twisted double standard than any sort of equal rights. It's a sad truth.

I'm not a feminist, get over it. Even if modern feminists weren't all caught up in the empowerment nonsense, I still wouldn't be one. I don't support "womens' rights." I don't support "gay rights." I don't support "black rights." I don't support "asian rights." I support individual rights. I support the right of every individual to have equal rights and treatment no matter their race, sexuality, or gender. I feel like focusing on minorities is part of the problem. "Oh we need to cater to the minorities." No, actually, we don't. Being a gay woman, I have grown up being told that society owes me something that I have not gotten. I was told that I will never amount to anything unless I'm a militant a**hole and shove my gender and sexuality down everybody's throats. I believed it for a long time. But eventually I ditched the whole "woe is me, I'm a minority" crap and just went my own way. I realized that, while there are sexists and homophobes out there, if I just leave everyone alone for the most part I don't have any problems.
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I would say that is the fault of people rather than the theory itself. There is the ability to perceive one's group status as deserving more attention than another (and in this case that can go both ways). Some women may feel that it was more systematically damaging to them than men (and there is a large degree of worth to such a statement), just as men may consider that women are getting too much attention. It's more about arguing about how far the pendulum has swung. Is it the fault of feminism that some may dismiss male victims of domestic assault? No. It's the fault of people (whether men or women) for adding that perception.
 
Fiddytree said:
Is it the fault of feminism that some may dismiss male victims of domestic assault? No. It's the fault of people (whether men or women) for adding that perception.
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Try this one - "true communism has never been tried, so it's still a wonderful philosophy."
 
RiverDad said:
Try this one - "true communism has never been tried, so it's still a wonderful philosophy."
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But this isn't something that can be blamed on feminism. Communism's inadequacies are its own.
 
Fiddytree said:
But this isn't something that can be blamed on feminism. Communism's inadequacies are its own.
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This was the comment which sparked your response:

I hate to tell you, but it is. I've been to feminist meetings. I've met feminists. I've joined feminist groups. Most of the women involved are more concerned with their own twisted double standard than any sort of equal rights. It's a sad truth.​

We judge ideologies by how they're practiced by adherents, not by theory which is ignored by adherents.
 
RiverDad said:
This was the comment which sparked your response:

I hate to tell you, but it is. I've been to feminist meetings. I've met feminists. I've joined feminist groups. Most of the women involved are more concerned with their own twisted double standard than any sort of equal rights. It's a sad truth.​

We judge ideologies by how they're practiced by adherents, not by theory which is ignored by adherents.
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So then why is feminism singled out in regard to perceptions of male victims in domestic violence?
 
Fiddytree said:
I would say that is the fault of people rather than the theory itself. There is the ability to perceive one's group status as deserving more attention than another (and in this case that can go both ways). Some women may feel that it was more systematically damaging to them than men (and there is a large degree of worth to such a statement), just as men may consider that women are getting too much attention. It's more about arguing about how far the pendulum has swung. Is it the fault of feminism that some may dismiss male victims of domestic assault? No. It's the fault of people (whether men or women) for adding that perception.
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A theory is always judged by it's adherents. Think about how liberalism, conservatism, libertarianism, and socialism have changed over the years. As different people joined the ideology, it changed. Liberalism, which was originally a libertarian-type idea, became more corporatist and authoritarian as those types of people started identifying themselves as liberal. Libertarianism was originally a socialist idea, but became what it is today when free market advocates and personal freedom advocates started identifying themselves as such. Same thing happened to feminism.
 
Copied from the last thread on this topic:

The thing that most people fail to grasp is that men and women are not equal, the double standard exists because of the strength discrepancy between men and women. You cannot pretend men and women are equal when it comes to physical violence, the average man is much more capable of defending himself against the average women than vise versa.
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It is a double standard in the same way that people kill cows for food but protect dogs and cats from whatever the owner chooses to do with them.
 
vasuderatorrent said:
You can say that the way outsiders view the situation is slanted to be funny when men are abused and to be tragic when women are abused. To be fair, law enforcement officers are not outsiders. They have to analyze the situation and consider the specifics of the case. They don't operate with vague generalities. If the husband is a 350 pound body builder who get's beat up by his 110 pound anorexic girlfriend, I don't think she will be hauled off to jail. He is free to laugh it off as a cute thing. If the wife is a 350 pound muscle lady and beats up on her 110 pound sickly husband then I am sure she is going to jail for domestic assault.

It's a case by case basis. If we are going to operate in the big picture by using generalities then yes. Logic would dictate that woman on man violence is laughable because most men are stronger and larger than women.

This really isn't a problem like you are making it out to be.
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So punching someone bigger than you is ok? But if that person then hits back there is an issue? How does that make sense? Assault is assault.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Is there a double standard regarding violence against men, from women?

Man assaults woman. Bad. And it should be...

Woman assaults man. Funny. And it shouldn't be...

Just look at Jerry McGuire. He breaks up with girlfriend and she beats him up. Comedy.

Cops don't arrest women who assault a man in domestic situations.

27% of the time the man struck the first blow; in 24% of cases, the woman initiated the violence. The rest of the time, the violence was mutual, with both partners brawling.

Domestic violence against men - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Physical Violence in American Families, 1976 - Murray Arnold Straus, Richard J. Gelles - Google Books
Click to expand...

I'm going to have to say yes overall, and no in some arenas that I probably just have too much exposure to due to the nature of the issues I work on.

What you state is most certainly the most common reaction I see on a broad-scale social basis, and the combination of shaming men for getting hurt (coming from men usually) or laughing at them for it (often coming from women) conspires to make men extremely unlikely to report, and for this kind of abuse to continue a lot longer than it might otherwise. We still have a machismo culture surrounding men, which makes them wimps if they get attacked, and a weird culture that is both permissive and condesending simultaniously around women, which is that they're too fragile to harm anyone.

But there's almost an increasingly loud faction, the size of which I don't really know, but it's at least thousands (which, again, I probably just see too much of) that are reactionary to the point where they sort of seem to advocate abuse of women instead. I recall a rant blog by an MRA losing his mind over a picture of a man who had some finger imprints where his wife had gripped his arm during labor. This was deemed, I **** you not, as an "attack," and the solution is that women need more putting in their place.

The entire culture of how we talk about abuse of men -- both in mainstream culture and in the fringes who react to this problem -- is just diabolically unhealthy. It needs a complete overhaul in order for any useful work to be done.
 
Just shoot her in self defense. She'll never hit you again, and if you put a kitchen knife by the corpse, nobody will laugh.
 
TeleKat said:
Absolutely, and one of many reasons I don't identify as a feminist.
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Uh, pretty sure the idea that any men who gets hurt is a wuss and women are fragile little flowers is a tenet of patriarchy.

You don't think patriarchy only hurts women, do you?
 
Kreton said:
So punching someone bigger than you is ok? But if that person then hits back there is an issue? How does that make sense? Assault is assault.
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Have you ever been punched by a four year old? It's pretty freaking funny. It isn't threatening at all.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Uh, pretty sure the idea that any men who gets hurt is a wuss and women are fragile little flowers is a tenet of patriarchy.

You don't think patriarchy only hurts women, do you?
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It's both. Patriarchy tries to make all men impervious to pain from smaller things and are notorious for their asinine and condescending views that declare all women weak, innocent, and immune to culpability. Because of male idiots like that, feminist women milk that stupidity for all it's worth.

Both sides have blood on their hands, but I will agree that the situation will never change until men actually hold women responsible for their actions.
 
vasuderatorrent said:
Have you ever been punched by a four year old? It's pretty freaking funny. It isn't threatening at all.
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I have a 4 year old. If she punched me in anger, that little girl is going to be in trouble. I'm not going to hit her like a man, or call the cops or anything, but punishment is coming.
 
Gipper said:
It's both. Patriarchy tries to make all men impervious to pain from smaller things and are notorious for their asinine and condescending views that declare all women weak, innocent, and immune to culpability. Because of male idiots like that, feminist women milk that stupidity for all it's worth.

Both sides have blood on their hands, but I will agree that the situation will never change until men actually hold women responsible for their actions.
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I don't think it's really feminist women, for the most part. On the extreme end there are some, but mostly it's "traditional" women who want to be taken care of.

Feminism has enabled it to the extent that it had tackled legal stuff first, which is frankly necessary, but social sexism in the world and in the courts remained, and like all social problems, it dies slowly. You can't just enact or take down social thought.

Feminism certainly didn't create this, and plenty fight against it, given all the overlap between feminists and people who talk about gender issues in general. No social transition is ever easy.
 
TeleKat said:
I hate to tell you, but it is. I've been to feminist meetings. I've met feminists. I've joined feminist groups. Most of the women involved are more concerned with their own twisted double standard than any sort of equal rights. It's a sad truth.

I'm not a feminist, get over it. Even if modern feminists weren't all caught up in the empowerment nonsense, I still wouldn't be one. I don't support "womens' rights." I don't support "gay rights." I don't support "black rights." I don't support "asian rights." I support individual rights. I support the right of every individual to have equal rights and treatment no matter their race, sexuality, or gender. I feel like focusing on minorities is part of the problem. "Oh we need to cater to the minorities." No, actually, we don't. Being a gay woman, I have grown up being told that society owes me something that I have not gotten. I was told that I will never amount to anything unless I'm a militant a**hole and shove my gender and sexuality down everybody's throats. I believed it for a long time. But eventually I ditched the whole "woe is me, I'm a minority" crap and just went my own way. I realized that, while there are sexists and homophobes out there, if I just leave everyone alone for the most part I don't have any problems.
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+1 Good for you. You have integrity the femis can only dream of.

Imagine my surprise. An actual woman as opposed to an angry, frightened little girl who claims to be both 'empowered' and 'victimised' simultaneously.

My oh my.
 
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