View Poll Results: So do you think the father has a legal right to see his baby born or be in the room?

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  • Yes, he has a legal right and my opinion agrees with that.

    15 22.39%
  • Yes, he has a legal right and in my opinion he shouldnt.

    1 1.49%
  • No, he has no legal right and my opinion agrees with that.

    38 56.72%
  • No, he has no legal right and in my opinion he should.

    3 4.48%
  • Other

    7 10.45%
  • I Love Chicken Parm

    9 13.43%
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Thread: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room?

  1. #651
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    I agree. Abandoning your child outright over the inability to be present during delivery is simply absurd.

    Frankly, I'm not even sure why a man would even want to be present under these particular circumstances anyway. His ex clearly doesn't like him, and he doesn't like her either.

    Even if she did allow it, you'd think that the experience would just be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable more than anything else.
    It just seems strange to me that he wants to be in the birthing room enough to go to court about it. Why is that so important to him?

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I don't get that either. I would feel very uncomfortable knowing that a person did not want me there and would certainly never impose myself on another person in that way.
    Frankly, that's kind of the whole issue here and always has been.

    There are only really three reasons why a father should be in the delivery room in the first place; to deliver the child in the highly unlikely event that no one better qualified is available to do so, to comfort / bond with the mother during the birth of their child, and to advocate for the mother's medical wishes in the event that the doctor tries to go "off script," and she becomes too preoccupied with the labor to really be able to speak for herself

    However, if a woman doesn't want the father to be present, he won't be accomplishing any of these goals.

    He's going to be doing the exact opposite of the former, as all his presence will accomplish is to make the mother upset and resentful of his intrusion. This will make the delivery harder for her, and strain their future relationship.

    If they're already in an estranged relationship, she really wouldn't want him medically advocating for her either. This makes his presence useless in that regard as well.

    You could argue that he might be able to advocate for the child itself, I suppose. However, even that argument ultimately fails, as the best thing that can be done for the child is to ensure that the mother has an optimal environment in which to deliver it.

    Basically all a father's going to represent under the circumstances specified by the OP is a "third wheel," whose presence ultimately winds up doing far more harm to the situation than good.

    It might hurt his feelings, but the basic fact of the matter is that any potential father-child "bonding" which might take place as a result of watching it emerge from the mother's birth canal simply pales in comparison to the additional stress and potential risks this particular father's actions introduce into the equation. IMO, he should keep his distance as such.

    You would think this would be common sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by leoborn View Post
    It just seems strange to me that he wants to be in the birthing room enough to go to court about it. Why is that so important to him?
    If it had been the plan all along that the father would be present, and the mother changed her mind at the last minute simply to spite him, I could at least understand why he might be upset.

    However, even then, I don't think I'd file a law suit over it.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-20-14 at 05:56 PM.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by leoborn View Post
    It just seems strange to me that he wants to be in the birthing room enough to go to court about it. Why is that so important to him?
    Its a controlle issue, like rape, and is likely why they're estranged in the first place. This won't be that last lawsuit he fails in their lifetime. They'll be in&out of court for years over visitation, custody, child support, baptism, grades, sports....
    Last edited by Jerry; 03-20-14 at 08:02 PM.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Interesting, I've never heard of that before. I don't think I'd really want to watch them pull a baby out of an incision in my belly though. Yeesh, that would freak me out I think.
    What we were told is that he would be back by the anesthesiologist. Because of draping there would be nothing to see until the baby popped out - and he would essentially see baby held up and the surgical nurse would take dad and baby off to the side. Frankly there would be much less to see with a C-section than normal l and d. With traditional l and d -everything is all out there, physically and emotionally.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by OscarB63 View Post
    they actually forced me to cut the cord on both my kids. that was gross as hell. urk.....
    They made me do it with my teeth.

    Yuck!



    It's not the baby that's gross, it's all that other stuff that comes out with it.
    Last edited by Muhammed; 03-20-14 at 10:15 PM.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by year2late View Post
    What we were told is that he would be back by the anesthesiologist. Because of draping there would be nothing to see until the baby popped out - and he would essentially see baby held up and the surgical nurse would take dad and baby off to the side. Frankly there would be much less to see with a C-section than normal l and d. With traditional l and d -everything is all out there, physically and emotionally.
    Yes, I can see how that would be the case because when they open you up, they do have to keep the surgical field sterile with sterile drapes which would block your view as well. The bottom line here is that viewing the birth of the baby has nothing to do with being a parent. A lot of moms don't even get to see the baby actually coming out, so I don't know what some of these guys are crying about.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by Muhammed View Post
    They made me do it with my teeth.

    Yuck!



    It's not the baby that's gross, it's all that other stuff that comes out with it.
    You must be talking about the placenta. I've heard that some people actually eat that because it has a lot of nutrients in it. Could you imagine eating that disgusting jelly thing? As if you can't get nutrients elsewhere.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Frankly, that's kind of the whole issue here and always has been.

    There are only really three reasons why a father should be in the delivery room in the first place; to deliver the child in the highly unlikely event that no one better qualified is available to do so, to comfort / bond with the mother during the birth of their child, and to advocate for the mother's medical wishes in the event that the doctor tries to go "off script," and she becomes too preoccupied with the labor to really be able to speak for herself

    However, if a woman doesn't want the father to be present, he won't be accomplishing any of these goals.

    He's going to be doing the exact opposite of the former, as all his presence will accomplish is to make the mother upset and resentful of his intrusion. This will make the delivery harder for her, and strain their future relationship.

    If they're already in an estranged relationship, she really wouldn't want him medically advocating for her either. This makes his presence useless in that regard as well.

    You could argue that he might be able to advocate for the child itself, I suppose. However, even that argument ultimately fails, as the best thing that can be done for the child is to ensure that the mother has an optimal environment in which to deliver it.

    Basically all a father's going to represent under the circumstances specified by the OP is a "third wheel," whose presence ultimately winds up doing far more harm to the situation than good.

    It might hurt his feelings, but the basic fact of the matter is that any potential father-child "bonding" which might take place as a result of watching it emerge from the mother's birth canal simply pales in comparison to the additional stress and potential risks this particular father's actions introduce into the equation. IMO, he should keep his distance as such.

    You would think this would be common sense.



    If it had been the plan all along that the father would be present, and the mother changed her mind at the last minute simply to spite him, I could at least understand why he might be upset.

    However, even then, I don't think I'd file a law suit over it.
    Great post Gathomas. I agree with everything you wrote here. You know, I wouldn't blame him one bit if she was trying to keep him from having any physical contact with the baby once he/she is born, but that is just not the case here, so she is obviously not being spiteful. It seems as if she simply wants to deliver the child in private. She may not be allowing ANYONE else in the room with her besides the medical professionals for all we know.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by Muhammed View Post
    They made me do it with my teeth.

    Yuck!



    It's not the baby that's gross, it's all that other stuff that comes out with it.
    when my daughter was born, the lady in the room with my wife (air force hospital on Eglin AFB) actually ate the afterbirth. they were some weird "naturalists" and thought that eating the afterbirth was good for the mother.
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    I actually don't understand the voting options... I would say he should have the legal right to be in the room just after delivery. The mom being stressed by him in there could affect both the mom and the baby.
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