View Poll Results: So do you think the father has a legal right to see his baby born or be in the room?

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  • Yes, he has a legal right and my opinion agrees with that.

    15 22.39%
  • Yes, he has a legal right and in my opinion he shouldnt.

    1 1.49%
  • No, he has no legal right and my opinion agrees with that.

    38 56.72%
  • No, he has no legal right and in my opinion he should.

    3 4.48%
  • Other

    7 10.45%
  • I Love Chicken Parm

    9 13.43%
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Thread: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room?

  1. #111
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    That wouldn't surprise me at all. I think the OBGYN in the article is probably reaching a bit with his conclusions (sounds kind of like some grouchy old fart pissing on about the 'good old days' when doctors had absolute control over every aspect of the birthing process, to be frank), but labor is honestly pretty damn freaky.

    A relatively smooth birth might not be all that bad, but a hard one would likely be rather traumatic to watch. Just watching a video of an operative delivery (along the lines of what you described having) was more than enough to weird me the Hell out for a few weeks.

    I couldn't imagine watching it happen to someone I was personally involved with.

    However, as Vesper pointed out...



    There is a flip side to these things as well. The husband actually can play some beneficial role.

    He simply has to have something to do and some idea of what's going on, so he's not hanging around like a clueless third wheel.
    I think the doctors and nurses would tell you to get the hell out of the way and zip it.

  2. #112
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I think the doctors and nurses would tell you to get the hell out of the way and zip it.
    Oh, they can try. They can try.

    We Thomas men have never been known for bowing to "authoritah" especially well.

    My father actually loves to tell the story how badly he pissed all the nurses off when my sister was being born. They left her under a heat lamp for too long after delivery, and her back was starting to burn.

    Figuring "what the Hell," he picked her up, swaddled her in a bunch of blankets, and kept her warm the "old fashioned" way.

    My mom kind of just shrugged the whole thing off, but the staff were apparently livid.

  3. #113
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Oh, they can try. They can try.

    We Thomas men have never been known for bowing to "authoritah" especially well.

    My father actually loves to tell the story how badly he pissed all the nurses off when my sister was being born. They left her under a heat lamp for too long, and her back was starting to burn.

    Figuring "what the Hell," he picked her up, swaddled her in a bunch of blankets, and kept her warm the "old fashioned" way.

    My mom kind of just shrugged the whole thing off, but the staff were apparently livid.
    I think that's kind of cute that your dad was such a concerned father. Still though, you try to "take charge" in the delivery room, and they would probably throw you out. They have a system and they aren't keen on being told how to do their jobs. That might be just another reason why a woman might choose to not invite her SO into the delivery room with her. Not for anything hateful at all. However, personally, if the dad can handle it, I would prefer for him to be present for support . . . if we were still on good terms. In the OP here though, that's apparently not the case, so I can feel for a woman who has some guy (her EX) trying to force himself upon her. I think the most important part for the new dad is to be able to hold his newborn baby. That is how the bonding process is started, not so much watching the child be born but the physical contact afterwards.

  4. #114
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker Case View Post
    I should. There should be some sort of warning given when it's a forceps birth.
    You poor thing!

  5. #115
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I think that's kind of cute that your dad was such a concerned father. Still though, you try to "take charge" in the delivery room, and they would probably throw you out. They have a system and they aren't keen on being told how to do their jobs. That might be just another reason why a woman might choose to not invite her SO into the delivery room with her. Not for anything hateful at all. However, personally, if the dad can handle it, I would prefer for him to be present for support . . . if we were still on good terms. In the OP here though, that's apparently not the case, so I can feel for a woman who has some guy (her EX) trying to force himself upon her. I think the most important part for the new dad is to be able to hold his newborn baby. That is how the bonding process is started, not so much watching the child be born but the physical contact afterwards.
    I agree. After a certain point, you really have to assume the doctors know what they're doing and hope for the best.

    However, I would probably speak up if it looked like they were going against what had been agreed upon before the delivery, and could not offer a justifiable reason for doing so.

    Additionally, there are ways to "hedge your bets" in this regard as well. Even in a hospital environment where the doctors are technically "in charge," many establishments will actually allow you to hire a specially trained midwife or doula to coach a woman through delivery and offer "second opinions" on the doctor's suggestions. I've even heard of them having some amount of success in talking panicky doctors out of C-sections in the past.

    It's kind of the same principle as writing "this leg" in sharpie on the limb that's scheduled to be operated on before going under the knife, just to make sure that they don't get confused and perform surgery on a healthy limb instead.

    Sure, the doctors will probably get it right. Why take unnecessary chances though?
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-17-14 at 12:45 PM.

  6. #116
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    As for child support, if my husband and I were ever to split up, we would almost certainly share custody and our earning potential is right around the same amount and we will have added relatively the same amount in the future to raising our children, which are key determining factors usually in determining child support. If the courts decided that I deserved child support vice my husband, then I would ensure it went toward my sons, just as I would not have any issue paying him should I be the one making more.
    Child custody is another uphill battle for men where they are not given the privileged rights as women. Even today when both parents have careers, there is a bias against the male gaining custody in a divorce. She's often at fault for the divorce and still ends up with the kids. The BS that a child needs a mother more than a father is getting old. They need a father just as much and it is damn time this bias in the courts stops.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by vesper View Post
    Child custody is another uphill battle for men where they are not given the privileged rights as women. Even today when both parents have careers, there is a bias against the male gaining custody in a divorce. She's often at fault for the divorce and still ends up with the kids. The BS that a child needs a mother more than a father is getting old. They need a father just as much and it is damn time this bias in the courts stops.
    As soon as men start dieing in child birth, they can have equal rights.
    That being said, there is way too much bias against men in the courts.
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by vesper View Post
    Child custody is another uphill battle for men where they are not given the privileged rights as women. Even today when both parents have careers, there is a bias against the male gaining custody in a divorce. She's often at fault for the divorce and still ends up with the kids. The BS that a child needs a mother more than a father is getting old. They need a father just as much and it is damn time this bias in the courts stops.
    I agree, that in some cases, there is a bias.

    However, as many have pointed out, I believe that is starting to change. Change doesn't occur overnight, and as we discussed earlier, there were reasons for such bias back in the "olden days." Usually the moms stayed home with the kids and the dads worked. Now that family dynamics are changing, so are the results of custody battles.

    Of course we will always have those more "traditional" type judges that believe the child belongs with the mother no matter what, but I know of several men who have full custody of their children, and statistics also show a change.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    You poor thing!
    I often tell my wife that I was the person who endured the most hardship during our son's birth.
    Tucker Case - Tard magnet.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    THe judge summed it up:

    'NPR's Jennifer Ludden explains, "The judge ruled that requiring the father's presence would pose 'unwarranted strain' on the mother."
    "It's just safer in general to have people the mother is most comfortable with to be in the room there with her."'


    Who cares what the 'rights' of the father are...ALL that should matter is the successful delivery of their child.

    As I said, if the mother is sane, then whatever makes her more comfortable should be the ONLY consideration...because the more comfortable she is , the better chance of a safe delivery of their child.

    I do not even begin to care what some whinny Dad wants...my only concern - in this case - is the child.


    I mean what a ding dong this guy is. Obviously if the only way she will allow him in is with a court order, then a 2 year old can figure out this will make her much more nervous/stressed - which could hurt her chances of a successful delivery.

    And since she does not want him there - he is obviously not going to be coaching her or doing ANYTHING useful. SO what is to be gained? Some sentimental nonsense.

    Has this guy never heard of a video camera? He can film the whole thing and see/hear every second of it.

    Is the child going to care one way or the other - no. IS there any way possible his presence - in this situation - can make things go more smoothly? Of course not.

    The only person this matters to is the selfish father...who clearly cares more about his 'rights' then the healthy delivery of his child.
    Actually I agree with you in full. It was a joke post because I thought Bruce Eden's wording was funny. Oh well.

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