View Poll Results: So do you think the father has a legal right to see his baby born or be in the room?

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  • Yes, he has a legal right and my opinion agrees with that.

    15 22.39%
  • Yes, he has a legal right and in my opinion he shouldnt.

    1 1.49%
  • No, he has no legal right and my opinion agrees with that.

    38 56.72%
  • No, he has no legal right and in my opinion he should.

    3 4.48%
  • Other

    7 10.45%
  • I Love Chicken Parm

    9 13.43%
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Thread: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room?

  1. #91
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by vesper View Post
    I know it doesn't matter to you that it took two to make the baby. And I know you don't recognize the man to have any rights in regard to pregnancy even though you do not have the capacity to create a child on your own. But I bet you expect him to pay for the next 18 years for his part in creating that child. What the guy was asking for was not unreasonable. It obviously was important to him to see his child born or he would not have taken it to court. The woman is a heartless.
    No it doesn't because I'm more concerned with how the baby is raised then how many people it took to make that baby. And the man is getting off to a bad start here in already not recognizing that his presence in the delivery room would cause major issues for the mother that could make the birth harder for both the mother and child and for what? Nothing but his selfish desire to see the birth.

    My husband and I have created two children and he was in the delivery room for one with me (couldn't be there for the birth of our second unfortunately). He has plenty of rights to our children and he is a wonderful father. However, first of all, my husband was there for me, not to see the birth. In fact, he joked most of the pregnancy that he would rather be outside passing out cigars. And had he reacted badly or behaved toward me inappropriately for the first birth, it wouldn't have mattered about whether he could be in there for the second because I would have asked him to please not be there and barred him if his presence caused me too much stress.

    It doesn't matter if it was important to him. What should matter most to him is the health of his child, which during delivery, means worrying about the health of the mother, including how much stress he may be causing her. Boohoo he doesn't get to witness the birth. Many men don't get to do that. Most of them are just plain thankful that they are in their child's life. His reasoning sounds pretty selfish to me.

    As for child support, if my husband and I were ever to split up, we would almost certainly share custody and our earning potential is right around the same amount and we will have added relatively the same amount in the future to raising our children, which are key determining factors usually in determining child support. If the courts decided that I deserved child support vice my husband, then I would ensure it went toward my sons, just as I would not have any issue paying him should I be the one making more.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

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  2. #92
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    And if she had given birth at her own home, then he could get charged with trespassing had he tried to enter the home without her permission for the birth. He would have no more right to see the birth at home than in the hospital.

    As for deliveries at home in the past, most men were still not in the room when midwives delivered. And men were not typically allowed in the room, it was considered a place for females.

    Men's role in childbirth - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Heck, I have something from an obstetrician that says no men should be in the delivery room. (Now I don't agree with him totally, but I imagine any benefit I saw having my husband there would definitely not be present in the case of the woman in the link.)

    A top obstetrician on why men should NEVER be at the birth of their child | Mail Online

    Oh, and according to this guy, it would have been very wrong to give the baby directly to the father first since holding the baby directly after birth helps a mother relax enough to deliver the placenta. (Which actually makes a lot of since to me because I can honestly remember the pain from my first child being born but then that release that came after and the euphoria that came very soon from just holding my little one, even while I was being stitched up.)

    Men should 'stay away from childbirth' | Life and style | The Observer

    Actually this is kinda funny because it suggests that men might even get a very mild form of (what sounds like to me) PTSD from watching childbirth, especially their loved one going through it.
    You sure have a hard time giving men credit. Not everyone had access to midwives. Dad's often were the only one around to assist during a birth. Even with 95% of births done in hospitals today, Dad's still find themselves delivering their babies because babies don't always wait. Heck when I was pregnant, my husband and I took a course on what to do just incase something like that were to happen.

  3. #93
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    No it doesn't because I'm more concerned with how the baby is raised then how many people it took to make that baby. And the man is getting off to a bad start here in already not recognizing that his presence in the delivery room would cause major issues for the mother that could make the birth harder for both the mother and child and for what? Nothing but his selfish desire to see the birth.

    My husband and I have created two children and he was in the delivery room for one with me (couldn't be there for the birth of our second unfortunately). He has plenty of rights to our children and he is a wonderful father. However, first of all, my husband was there for me, not to see the birth. In fact, he joked most of the pregnancy that he would rather be outside passing out cigars. And had he reacted badly or behaved toward me inappropriately for the first birth, it wouldn't have mattered about whether he could be in there for the second because I would have asked him to please not be there and barred him if his presence caused me too much stress.

    It doesn't matter if it was important to him. What should matter most to him is the health of his child, which during delivery, means worrying about the health of the mother, including how much stress he may be causing her. Boohoo he doesn't get to witness the birth. Many men don't get to do that. Most of them are just plain thankful that they are in their child's life. His reasoning sounds pretty selfish to me.

    As for child support, if my husband and I were ever to split up, we would almost certainly share custody and our earning potential is right around the same amount and we will have added relatively the same amount in the future to raising our children, which are key determining factors usually in determining child support. If the courts decided that I deserved child support vice my husband, then I would ensure it went toward my sons, just as I would not have any issue paying him should I be the one making more.
    Exactly. Awesome post. From the first post I read in this thread, I got the feeling that this particular guy is a complete selfish jerk. He is trying to force his way into a very personal situation. Thankfully, the ruling was with the mother, and we don't have to worry about this happening to us in the future. I would NOT want a man I didn't like in the delivery room with me. I wouldn't care if he thought I was a "bitch" or not. It's MY medical procedure, my body, and I have the right to say who is in the room with me and who isn't, regardless of what our PAST relationship was.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by vesper View Post
    You sure have a hard time giving men credit. Not everyone had access to midwives. Dad's often were the only one around to assist during a birth. Even with 95% of births done in hospitals today, Dad's still find themselves delivering their babies because babies don't always wait. Heck when I was pregnant, my husband and I took a course on what to do just incase something like that were to happen.
    Well yippee!! Apparently this woman is NOT on good terms with the father of her child. If you were in the process of divorcing your husband because he cheated on you with his hot young secretary, you would change your tune.

  5. #95
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by vesper View Post
    You sure have a hard time giving men credit. Not everyone had access to midwives. Dad's often were the only one around to assist during a birth. Even with 95% of births done in hospitals today, Dad's still find themselves delivering their babies because babies don't always wait. Heck when I was pregnant, my husband and I took a course on what to do just incase something like that were to happen.
    It wasn't generally their first choice if they were delivering the child. And that is even more true today. Just because they have to deliver the child, doesn't mean that is a good thing. Plus, that would also give them a purpose for being there when the child is born instead of just witnessing it.

    Fathers in hard labour: 'Being there' during childbirth is not automatically a good thing. David Shannon reports - Life & Style - The Independent

    In fact, I would say that mothers, friends, family need to stop pressuring the fathers to be there if the fathers are uncomfortable with it. I am guilty of this too. If they are able to mutually agree that his being there is a positive, then sure, be there. But if either of them doesn't agree, then the father should just stay out of the room til it is over.

    I remember how my husband was during the birth of our first and it is one of the few times I saw my husband look very frustrated with the situation (particularly during the 2 hours I was pushing and they started bringing in more doctors) and a little bit scared. He had no desire to see the actual birth. His purpose there was to support me.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    It wasn't generally their first choice if they were delivering the child. And that is even more true today. Just because they have to deliver the child, doesn't mean that is a good thing. Plus, that would also give them a purpose for being there when the child is born instead of just witnessing it.

    Fathers in hard labour: 'Being there' during childbirth is not automatically a good thing. David Shannon reports - Life & Style - The Independent

    In fact, I would say that mothers, friends, family need to stop pressuring the fathers to be there if the fathers are uncomfortable with it. I am guilty of this too. If they are able to mutually agree that his being there is a positive, then sure, be there. But if either of them doesn't agree, then the father should just stay out of the room til it is over.

    I remember how my husband was during the birth of our first and it is one of the few times I saw my husband look very frustrated with the situation (particularly during the 2 hours I was pushing and they started bringing in more doctors) and a little bit scared. He had no desire to see the actual birth. His purpose there was to support me.
    He probably hated to see you in such pain.

  7. #97
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    It wasn't generally their first choice if they were delivering the child. And that is even more true today. Just because they have to deliver the child, doesn't mean that is a good thing. Plus, that would also give them a purpose for being there when the child is born instead of just witnessing it.

    Fathers in hard labour: 'Being there' during childbirth is not automatically a good thing. David Shannon reports - Life & Style - The Independent

    In fact, I would say that mothers, friends, family need to stop pressuring the fathers to be there if the fathers are uncomfortable with it. I am guilty of this too. If they are able to mutually agree that his being there is a positive, then sure, be there. But if either of them doesn't agree, then the father should just stay out of the room til it is over.

    I remember how my husband was during the birth of our first and it is one of the few times I saw my husband look very frustrated with the situation (particularly during the 2 hours I was pushing and they started bringing in more doctors) and a little bit scared. He had no desire to see the actual birth. His purpose there was to support me.
    I found my spouse to be invaluable during labor. He kept track of the contractions, coached me to breath, rubbed my back during hard contractions, wiped my face with a cool cloth, and the look in his eyes of how much he wished he could take the pain from me if he could was priceless. I'll never forget how excited he would get when he first saw the head and discovered the baby had hair.

  8. #98
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    He probably hated to see you in such pain.
    Oh definitely. He can't stand it and I refused an epidural. He thought I was nuts but still respected my decision. Was pretty proud when the first doc we talked to on admittance came back and said how amazed he was that I actually didn't ask for one. My husband was beaming. You would have thought it was him that refused to get it, but I thought it was cute.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

  9. #99
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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by vesper View Post
    I know it doesn't matter to you that it took two to make the baby. And I know you don't recognize the man to have any rights in regard to pregnancy even though you do not have the capacity to create a child on your own. But I bet you expect him to pay for the next 18 years for his part in creating that child. What the guy was asking for was not unreasonable. It obviously was important to him to see his child born or he would not have taken it to court. The woman is a heartless.
    I had a woman ob/gyn. She and I both didn't care if my husband was in the room or not, but he felt he would just be in the way, and opted not to be there. That's probably for the best, since there were times during the labor, especially with my first child, that I entertained thoughts about killing him! : After my son was delivered, he came with the biggest bunch of roses I had ever seen, and we celebrated starting a family. He and the other dads were out there pacing the floor, and he told me that was one of the worst periods of time he had ever spent, since he felt helpless to help. The old saying about "if men had the babies, they would only have one" is probably true!

    Greetings, Vesper.

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    Re: Do you think fathers have a legal right to see thier child born or be in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    Oh definitely. He can't stand it and I refused an epidural. He thought I was nuts but still respected my decision. Was pretty proud when the first doc we talked to on admittance came back and said how amazed he was that I actually didn't ask for one. My husband was beaming. You would have thought it was him that refused to get it, but I thought it was cute.
    Lol! That is cute.

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