• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you?

How traditional are you?

  • I am a woman and I regularly cook dinner.

    Votes: 1 4.0%

  • I am a man and I regularly cook dinner.

    Votes: 11 44.0%

  • I am a woman and I regularly do the dishes.

    Votes: 1 4.0%

  • I am a man and I regularly do the dishes.

    Votes: 11 44.0%

  • I am a woman and I regularly do the laundry.

    Votes: 1 4.0%

  • I am a man and I regularly do the laundry.

    Votes: 11 44.0%

  • I am a woman and I regularly do yard work.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • I am a man and I regularly do yard work.

    Votes: 13 52.0%

  • We maintain more traditional roles in our relationship / parenting.

    Votes: 3 12.0%

  • We maintain more cooperative roles in our relationship / parenting.

    Votes: 20 80.0%
  • Total voters
    25
ALiberalModerate

ALiberalModerate

Pragmatist
DP Veteran
Joined
Jun 23, 2005
Messages
32,438
Reaction score
22,670
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Moderate
Just wondering how traditional are you in your marriage / parenting roles. How important is this to you? You can also indicate in your posts whether you are a stay at home parent or not, or if you both work.

(this goes along with the would you marry an American question in another poll)
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

SouthernDemocrat said:
Just wondering how traditional are you in your marriage / parenting roles. How important is this to you? You can also indicate in your posts whether you are a stay at home parent or not, or if you both work.

(this goes along with the would you marry an American question in another poll)
Click to expand...

Not sure what "Traditional" implies....But we are committed to each other, and completely monogamous with no inclinations otherwise.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

tecoyah said:
Not sure what "Traditional" implies....But we are committed to each other, and completely monogamous with no inclinations otherwise.
Click to expand...

I should have been more clear. I don't mean traditional as in monogamous and not in some open marriage. I mean traditional as in the old 1950s nostalgic view of marriage where the man is the breadwinner, the wife does most of the housework, the man does the yard work, the wife does most of the day to day parenting, and the man is the head to the household.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

We maintain cooperative roles. We both work but also both help out around the house. The only primary things I do would be the laundry and certain duties with my daughter like bathing.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

Our relationship is cooperative with each contributing what they are best suited to do. He does the major home repairs while I do minor fixes. He does the lawn work, trimming hedges, pruning, cutting grass, edging, while I'll work the flower beds, planters, and raking leaves. I cook, he does the dishes. I do the laundry, he carries the baskets of clothing and clothes on hangers up two flights of stairs and puts them away. I do the windows he power washes the siding and walkways. I wash the cars and he keeps the maintenance up on them. You get the idea. But at anytime one can not fulfill their part due to long hours at work or illness, the other picks up the slack and tries not to bitch about it. :)
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

SouthernDemocrat said:
Just wondering how traditional are you in your marriage / parenting roles. How important is this to you? You can also indicate in your posts whether you are a stay at home parent or not, or if you both work.

(this goes along with the would you marry an American question in another poll)
Click to expand...


Married 10 years, husband recently medically retired from the military so we have a new dynamic. It used to be that he worked at least 10 hours a day and could be deployed or sent on missions at random. He might wake up, go to work, and then go to France and be back next week. So for a long time I did *everything* and he worked.

Now:
We cook 50/50 (or whatever: who ever feels like cooking mozies in there)
The kids do the dishes and trash (same as always)
I and my older son mow the lawn (I really enjoy doing it)
My husband keeps after the garden and flowers (always his hobby)
I was a stay a home mom and now I'm a college mom (With 4 kids I found it nearly impossible to actually work full time and do everything when he was gone so much so I focused on school instead. We're going to open a business together using my business management degree now that he's retired)
We now do things like grocery shopping, deal with school issues, attend school functions (etc) together.
I do all the home improvement (remodeling, cabinetry - all that)
He used to do vehicle maintenance but due to his health issues I took that over.

- Since his retirement I've been able to relax for once. :)

[oh - laundry. I used to deal with most of it but lately he's been tossing clothes in the wash. The kids are responsible for their own clothes. Our family's always split the tedious things like cleaning]
 
Last edited:
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

Due to our schedules {no children at home} I do a lot of the cooking while she 'prefers' to do our laundry. Yardwork requires both of us.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

SouthernDemocrat said:
Just wondering how traditional are you in your marriage / parenting roles. How important is this to you? You can also indicate in your posts whether you are a stay at home parent or not, or if you both work.

(this goes along with the would you marry an American question in another poll)
Click to expand...

My family is very traditional. Since I met her overseas, she had to live with me when she first came over to the US. We didn't have to talk about responsibilities much at all, because we each took initiative in the traditional role. I did explicitly tell her that I was going to be the head of household, but that came with a promise to put her and the kids before myself. I work full-time, plus do a bunch of side jobs for extra money. She teaches only part-time and takes care of the family. We both got the lifestyle we wanted and we're passing these values on to our kids.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

I think my marriage is pretty traditional but not for traditions sake. We were both working and then we had our son and she wanted to be home with him. Once he got a little older we discussed putting him in daycare but decided we didn't want some daycare or nanny raising him so she stayed home. We felt, and still do, it is more important to raise our kids than to make money.

As for cooking she does most of it largely because she is home. I cook a couple days a week (it varies). I don't touch laundry and hopefully never will. Yard work is kind of mixed depending on who wants to do it. We both enjoy yard work for the most part so it doesn't really come up beyond talking about things we want to do.
 
For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are...

SouthernDemocrat said:
Just wondering how traditional are you in your marriage / parenting roles. How important is this to you? You can also indicate in your posts whether you are a stay at home parent or not, or if you both work.

(this goes along with the would you marry an American question in another poll)
Click to expand...

Never been much for tradition. All of my relationships settle into whatever suits the two personalities involved.

For example, last time around she cooked, we both did house hold chores (but she did most) and we both did yard work (but I did most)

This time around, I do all the cooking and grocery shopping (because somehow it became fun for me). She does most of the house work and almost exclusively does the work of raising her daughter while I do most of the raising for my kids.
 
Last edited:
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

Well, crap. I ticked the wrong boxes. :lol: I'm obviously not a man.

I'm divorced now, but when I was married I was the one who cooked and did all the housework, especially during the years I chose to stay at home with my daughter. Before she was born, when I worked full time, I still cooked, because my ex sucks at it, but we shared all the housework equally. As for parenting, it was pretty equal, although I was the one more in charge of discipline since my daughter had her father pretty much wrapped around her little finger. Good thing she was a good kid and gave us very little trouble, because being the bad guy all the time is not fun. I really wish that he had taken a more active role in the discipline department. Our relationship was pretty equal, all decisions were discussed and mutually agreed upon.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

SouthernDemocrat said:
Just wondering how traditional are you in your marriage / parenting roles. How important is this to you? You can also indicate in your posts whether you are a stay at home parent or not, or if you both work.

(this goes along with the would you marry an American question in another poll)
Click to expand...

Things aren't the same as they were 50 years ago. I'm not so sure there is any such thing as normal. Individuality is an idea that started in the 60's. The young adults of today were raised by people holding those ideas in high esteem. People around my age (35) and younger spent their whole entire life learning the virtues of self discovery. Families are all completely different.

I don't think a simple traditional or non-traditional tells the entire story.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

My fiance and I have a very Traditional relationship. She does almost all of the cooking, cleaning, and dishes. I'll help out if there's something that needs to be done which she can't handle, but for the most part those chores belong to her. We tend to split the laundry duties. We live in a condo complex and have generally used a local laundromat to do our laundry. Since I'm the only one of us that drives we either tend to go together or I end up doing it myself while she's at home doing other things. There are really no serious yard work responsibilities, but what there are tend to fall to me. If/when we have children we will maintain a pretty traditional breakdown of responsibilities in that as well.

I'll be 40 this year and she turns 33 the end of this month. I'm caucasian and she's Puerto Rican, though she's spent most of her life here in the Northeast, if that's any help in what you're trying to establish with this.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

My girlfriend and I work together both in/around our home and to acquire income to support it. She takes before/after pictures of the work, supplies transportation to get materials (and somrtomes me) to the jobsites and prepares/prints the formal estimates/bills while I do the home repair/improvement work.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

We are pretty traditional. My hubs has always been the bread winner, as I've only worked a few times throughout our marriage. When I did work it was either 3rd shift or while kids were in school b/c it was important for me to be a sahm. He's gone a lot so the kids and I mostly do the cleaning and yard work or I hire someone. If he cooks it's on the grill, but that's about it. We each have our strong and weak points that we bring to the table. Works for us!
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are...

I'm no longer married, but I did most of the child rearing with my first son, as I was the one who took him to play dates, made sure he got to school on time, took him to movies and concerts and communicated with him in general.

Now that I am divorced, can anybody guess which parent is estranged from him and which isn't?

Tradition be damned.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are...

Our rolls in the marriage could be considered traditional, but we like to look at it like team work. I am not allowed to do the laundry or load the dishwasher due to her not wanting her clothes messed up or the dishes not completely cleaned. I do the yard work because I like doing it. Wouldn't be against her doing it but I generally just do it myself. I also like to cook out a lot and I have a couple dishes I make that we both like, so I don't mind that end of it either. I bring more money home but we don't have hers and mine, we have house money. It all goes in one account and if we need or want something we both know where it is. If it's something big we talk about it and decide on whether it is a good idea or not.

Hope that explains our situation.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

Arcana XV said:
I'm obviously not a man.

.
Click to expand...

and you expect us to just believe that, Arcana?

I'm afraid I'm required to check you out VERY thoroughly to make sure you are telling the truth.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

I believe in friendship before stereotypes.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

danielpalos said:
I believe in friendship before stereotypes.
Click to expand...

and when you turn the age necessary to marry, then what?
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

I give thanks to our modern Information Age and being able to practice not judging women by the clothes they may not be wearing on the Internet and porting it to real life whenever i have the presence of mind to do so; as an ethic, if not a moral in modern times.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are...

Coming up on 15 years married. We both work and share most of the duties in the home with the exception of a few that are strictly mine. I am solely responsible for most maintenance duties including washing the outside of the house. I also do all of the sewing. The one I don't understand is why having a penis is required for taking out the garbage. She sees to be completely incapable of it.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

SouthernDemocrat said:
I should have been more clear. I don't mean traditional as in monogamous and not in some open marriage. I mean traditional as in the old 1950s nostalgic view of marriage where the man is the breadwinner, the wife does most of the housework, the man does the yard work, the wife does most of the day to day parenting, and the man is the head to the household.
Click to expand...

Okay...I take on the traditional male aspects of keeping the home, but also love to cook and she loves that I do. My wife generally does the laundry, because she has very nice clothes and simply does not trust me to wash them (probably a good idea). All children are grown, but I tried to be as involved as possible when they were young. We now both work to live the lifestyle we enjoy, and because we can....she however makes more than I do, which has never been an issue.

I do not think the Ozzie and Harriot/Leave it to Beaver examples were ever reality...and do not think they should be.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

SouthernDemocrat said:
Just wondering how traditional are you in your marriage / parenting roles. How important is this to you? You can also indicate in your posts whether you are a stay at home parent or not, or if you both work.

(this goes along with the would you marry an American question in another poll)
Click to expand...

I am a doting dad. I love kids, particularly mine, but I'm also a big guy and there is an animus against men with respect to children. I feel it, it just is what it is. I work from home and I'll see all of the moms taking care of their kids and playing on the street and they never invite me until my wife is home. When it was time for the baby shower, I WANTED to be there. The traditional baby shower TENDS to exclude men, I think that is a STUPID ****ING RULE.

This doesn't mean my wife doesn't cook. She does. It doesn't mean I don't do yard work, I do.....So, I tend to think that we're in the middle.
 
Re: For those that are married or in long term relationships, how traditional are you

I was married for a long time, and it was pretty traditional by American standards. I did the indoor cooking- he did outdoor cooking. I did dishes and laundry (by choice), and other chores were shared. He cut the grass, but I kept the gardens (also by my own choice). He did car and boat maintenance, and was a hunter and fisherman (for food, not just pleasure). He was also a builder and had excellent life skills, and he taught me how to build and repair things, including our building our own house, and he taught me to shoot, which is a great skill for anyone to have imo. Overall, it worked out pretty well, and I learned enough to be able to take care of myself, now that he's gone.

As for the kids, I did most of the child-rearing when they were young, and he did more as they got older, because they were boys, and he felt it was important to teach them how to hunt, fish, and do the things he was taught as a child. It worked out well, and the boys fortunately got a balanced mix of doting and teaching, lol.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom