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How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

We should be raising our daughters

  • Total voters
    86
cpwill said:
Literally everyone does :).
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I disagree. The more one acquires power over another person, the less the dominant person understands what the subordinate one is feeling.

But I notice you didn't answer the question. Given that apparently you know American's daughter and how to raise her better than he does, how many children have you, yourself, raised?

Because the answer that you gave indicates that number is zero, and that you are still caught in the teenage angst of being angry at mommy and daddy.
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If this is the attitude you used to raise your daughter, then I feel sorry for her. No wonder she broke free.

Do not even try this "I'm a parent and your not, so I know better" BS with me. That is an absurd lie and is rooted deeply in patriarchy. As I said before, that sounds like one of the many excuses child abusers give. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not accusing you of being a child abuser, but I am saying that that rationale is absolutely pathetic.
 
Muhammed said:
As many of you already know, I have raised 5 daughters. So I have a little bit of experience.


I know I did something right because they are all happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults in their mid-20s now.


I taught them to be strong, both physically and mentally. I had a gym in the basement and started them all on strength training when they were about 7 or 8 and they started martial arts training around the same age.


From an early age I taught them to enjoy exercise rather than loathe it. Today, my 4th daughter is a high school biology teacher by day and a personal trainer and kickboxing instructor in the evening, on the weekends and in the summer. She is planning on opening a fitness center. I've no doubt that she will be successful in that endeavor. She was always the enterprising one.


I also taught them all about nutrition and taught them to ignore the misinformation regarding nutrition that their school and the government will spew at them.


I think that being very healthy, looking good and not being physically intimidated by males are key to a girl's self-confidence.


It also gave me confidence when they started dating. I wasn't afraid of them getting date raped because they could whoop ass. By the time they started dating they had several years of martial arts training.


I've always valued physical fitness and have instilled that value into their psyche.


I also taught my daughters that they deserve respect and if someone doesn't respect them then that person deserves no respect in return. Respect is a two way street.


I also taught them all to meditate in order to maintain peace of mind and improve their concentration.


I also believed in being a nonjudgmental parent. This made it easier for them to talk to me about anything. Kept an open line of communication.


And a tip for those of you with young daughters. The Girl Scouts organization is about more than selling cookies. I highly recommend it.
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All five of your daughters had damn well better sing your praises at your funeral--an event that I hope does not happen for a long time.
 
SMTA said:
You are a sick and nasty weasel for calling American a child abuser.

To Hell with you.
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Nope, I never said that. Reread my post IN CONTEXT.
 
Phys251 said:
I disagree. The more one acquires power over another person, the less the dominant person understands what the subordinate one is feeling.
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You appear to be confusing empathy with memory.

If this is the attitude you used to raise your daughter, then I feel sorry for her. No wonder she broke free.
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As mentioned above, my daughter is an infant. It was American's daughter whom you subtly accused him of abusing, despite the fact that you literally know nothing about his parenting style.

Do not even try this "I'm a parent and your not, so I know better" BS with me.
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I certainly know my own children and what they need better than you do.

That is an absurd lie and is rooted deeply in patriarchy
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:lol: clearly you've never listened to a group of mothers describe people who offer parenting advice to them. Is "Patriarchy" just what you call anything you dislike, or find inconvenient?

As I said before, that sounds like one of the many excuses child abusers give.
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:shrug: then you are only demonstrating your evidence not only of parenting, but also of child abusers.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not accusing you of being a child abuser, but I am saying that that rationale is absolutely pathetic.
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And you say that because you've never raised a child.
 
Phys251 said:
Nope, I never said that. Reread my post IN CONTEXT.
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:roll: Please. You accused American of child abuse. You did it implicitly, but you did it. Now you're trying to walk it back because it's an amazingly, bone-headed idiotic thing to say, and you did so because you were reacting emotionally rather than thoughtfully, but you did it nonetheless.
 
tacomancer said:
Either my girlfriend or I
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Why do you say we when talking to your daughter? I make sure I never do that with my son.

Why do you incoude yourselves in what she needs to do or not do?
 
Moderator's Warning:
Cease the personal crap, people.
 
Phys251 said:
Do not even try this "I'm a parent and your not, so I know better" BS with me.
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It is not BS.

It's absolutely ridiculous and the height of arrogance for people who don't even have kids to start giving advice about parenting. Not only that, it's annoying.

In the first post you can tell that the OP doesn't have any kids because of the dumb questions.
 
Muhammed said:
In the first post you can tell that the OP doesn't have any kids because of the dumb questions.
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Are you some kind of nitwit?

I have two children. Two DAUGHTERS.

I've posted about them in this thread - which you've obviously FAILED to read.

:roll:
 
Muhammed said:
It is not BS.

It's absolutely ridiculous and the height of arrogance for people who don't even have kids to start giving advice about parenting. Not only that, it's annoying.

In the first post you can tell that the OP doesn't have any kids because of the dumb questions.
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Actually, it's complete BS. I have no kids and in my profession I have not only been giving parenting advice for YEARS, but am highly sought after for assisting parents with managing their children. Sometimes a step back allows one to be less emotional about a situation and both more concrete and rational. Now, this is not to say that people who HAVE children can't be effective also... or ineffective for that matter.. But making some blanket assumption as you did has no basis in reality. We all have our experiences that shape how we can help others. The fact that each of us has BEEN a child and has BEEN parented helps to shape how we might parent or how we might advise others to parent.
 
Dragonfly said:
I have two children. Two DAUGHTERS.

I've posted about them in this thread - which you've obviously FAILED to read.

:roll:
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I don't believe you. If you have kids then how do you explain the dumb questions in the OP?
 
Muhammed said:
I don't believe you. If you have kids then how do you explain the dumb questions in the OP?
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These were rhetorical questions to spur debate. I think most people realized this.
 
CaptainCourtesy said:
Actually, it's complete BS. I have no kids and in my profession I have not only been giving parenting advice for YEARS, but am highly sought after for assisting parents with managing their children.
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I certainly wouldn't seek your assistance. Do these people actually know that you don't have kids?

For some reason a scene from "She's Out of Control" comes to mind. The one where Tony Danza finds out that the psychiatrist who has been giving him all the bad advice that backfired on him didn't have any kids. :lamo
 
Muhammed said:
I certainly wouldn't seek your assistance. Do these people actually know that you don't have kids?
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Then you'd be missing out on some expert advise and counsel. And yes, they know.

For some reason a scene from "She's Out of Control" comes to mind. The one where Tony Danza finds out that the psychiatrist who has been giving him all the bad advice that backfired on him didn't have any kids. :lamo
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Since the advice and counsel I give is golden in many ways, your analogy is irrelevant.

You don't seem to understand the nature of psychotherapy. One does not need to experience the same situation in order to be helpful. As long as one can connect to the feelings and the situation in some way... and is TRAINED, one can be just as helpful, if not MORESO than someone who has had the same experiences.
 
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Muhammed said:
It is not BS.

It's absolutely ridiculous and the height of arrogance for people who don't even have kids to start giving advice about parenting. Not only that, it's annoying.

In the first post you can tell that the OP doesn't have any kids because of the dumb questions.
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Heh. The worst advice I ever got was from people who were parents themselves. Good thing I was smart enough to not listen to their tripe seeing as how bad their own kids turned out compared to mine .

Being a parent is not a guarantee that you know what you're doing. Look at their kids first. They're generally the best clue as to whether or not the parents are worth a damn.
 
Mason66 said:
Why do you say we when talking to your daughter? I make sure I never do that with my son.

Why do you incoude yourselves in what she needs to do or not do?
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because she is two and she can hardly do much on her own at this point. so, we (gf and I) will not refill her juice until certain criteria are met, such as being out of juice.

If you want to let a two year old boy refill his juice cup, because its crap that you wouldn't do with a son, then have fun cleaning up the spills.
 
tacomancer said:
because she is two and she can hardly do much on her own at this point. so, we (gf and I) will not refill her juice until certain criteria are met, such as being out of juice.

If you want to let a two year old boy refill his juice cup, because its crap that you wouldn't do with a son, then have fun cleaning up the spills.
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I thought you meant you say things like "we don't watch TV after 8 o'clock" or something like that. When it is something the child must do or a rule for the child, I say he has to do it and not we.
 
Mason66 said:
I thought you meant you say things like "we don't watch TV after 8 o'clock" or something like that. When it is something the child must do or a rule for the child, I say he has to do it and not we.
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No

I am careful to maintain an authoritative relationship at a child that age
 
tacomancer said:
No

I am careful to maintain an authoritative relationship at a child that age
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Good. I never liked the idea of talking to children like they are little idiots. I think it is counter productive.
 
How about raising kids who can think for themselves? I'm pretty sure they'll find their own way, given the instruction to question everything and make some headway into realising their godlike potential. Privately tutored if its within your financial means. School is a machine for the wholesale manafacture of obedient automatons who question nothing, but possess the basic skills to follow verbal and written commands, with a sprinkle of the requisite numeracy. **** school. I'd never subject any children of mine to the iniquities of any national curriculum.
 
Muhammed said:
It is not BS.

It's absolutely ridiculous and the height of arrogance for people who don't even have kids to start giving advice about parenting. Not only that, it's annoying.

In the first post you can tell that the OP doesn't have any kids because of the dumb questions.
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You seem to be more understanding than cpwill, so I'll say this to you and wager the highly remote chance that he'll listen...

Parenting may well be the single most challenging job in the world. Period. By nearly every standard in existence, we are one of the worst industrialized nations on the planet for supporting parents. Just look at how much better other nations do with paid maternal/paternal leave, social support for parents of young children, and the like. We've fallen into this "we can pull ourselves up by the bootstraps" trap, even when many parents have razor thin bootstraps.

Combine that with the fact that we believe that parents should be absolute and unquestioned authority of their children, and you have a recipe for disaster. It is only because of the love and devotion of the vast majority of parents that things haven't completely gone to hell.
 
Phys251 said:
Just look at how much better other nations do with paid maternal/paternal leave, social support for parents of young children, and the like.
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If you'd like to see Finnish social welfare policies implemented in the US you'd better come up with a plan to implement a massive scale of ethnic cleansing in order to fill our population with Finns. Then your social welfare policy replication effort will work just dandy.

If we take a 100 families where the cost of raising a child is $200 per month and we tax them $250 per month and then redistribute that tax as a $200 per month family stipend to each family, then we have a generous family support program.

Now let's see how that would work in the US. Take the same number of families and the same cost per month, but now charge 60 families $400 per month and then redistribute that tax as a $200 per month family stipend to all 100 families, and you get a lot of resistance from the higher income families who see no benefit to themselves from having to pay $400 per month in order to get a $200 per month benefit.

We have a huge underclass that would drag down the middle class which more homogeneous societies, both in terms of race/ethnicity and socioeconomics, don't have to contend with.

Multiculturalism is like an acid to civil society and sharing. It erodes those values because it is similarity which binds people together, not differences.

Combine that with the fact that we believe that parents should be absolute and unquestioned authority of their children, and you have a recipe for disaster.
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Let's try an experiment. Pretend that you're a parent. With me so far? Now, in your imagination conjure up the most radical religious fundamentalist you can imagine, now layer on top all sorts of philosophies that you despise. Have you done that? OK, now this person is what the government represents and their influence over your child is going to match your own because that's what you're calling for - government sharing with parents the role of bringing up a child. You see, I know that you're a government loving socialist and that you see nothing wrong with forcing your ideology onto other people, especially when it comes to how they should raise their children, but there are plenty of parents who look upon your philosophy as poison and they are going to feel as negatively about your intrusion and your corrosive influence as you would about some over-the-top caricature of a Christian Fundamentalist co-parenting your child.
 
Mason66 said:
Good. I never liked the idea of talking to children like they are little idiots. I think it is counter productive.
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i am quite confident in my ability to raise children
 
Arcana XV said:
Heh. The worst advice I ever got was from people who were parents themselves. Good thing I was smart enough to not listen to their tripe seeing as how bad their own kids turned out compared to mine .

Being a parent is not a guarantee that you know what you're doing. Look at their kids first. They're generally the best clue as to whether or not the parents are worth a damn.
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That's true, and what jumps out at me is that no two children are exactly alike...even twins. In my case, our two boys have had their moments, but I know people who have had much more serious issues to deal with: ADHD kids and children with serious developmental disabilities, kids who started out normal and average, but started turning antisocial and getting in serious trouble in their teens, even if they tried their best to raise perfect children. On the other hand, those of us who have had a relatively easy time raising their children, can be all full of great advice, and have no idea how lucky they have been, and how unlucky some other parents have it!
 
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