It's not an ONLY THIS AND NOTHING ELSE process. It's a matter of how much value is assigned to each.
Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker
Women are more attuned to male status than men are to women's status. This starts early and continues in life. Look back on the high school kids. The girls want the football star, the popular boy in school to be their boyfriend. The guys want to nail the cheerleader. The guys don't particularly care about the captain of the girls' basketball team or the girl who is school president.
Look even younger. Girls with their Justin Beiber pictures on the walls of their bedroom. They're focusing on the popular boy. Do you see your sons idolizing Selena Gomez and plastering their bedroom walls with her photos? I'd be surprised if you did. The girl being at the top of a pecking order holds way less appeal for boys than does the reverse for girls.
And similarly, women who chase after the bad boys and think that they can get them to commit and that they can change him, remake him, into a man devoted to her, change their focus as they age and then turn their attention to the loser guys who they overlooked when they were younger and who they now see make pretty good husband material.
Men are not superficial, shallow dolts who think their only their cocks. That might drive them when they're younger, but as they age they become less driven by only that.
Lookee here, The New York Times reports:
After midnight on a rainy night last week in Chapel Hill, N.C., a large group of sorority women at the University of North Carolina squeezed into the corner booth of a gritty basement bar. Bathed in a neon glow, they splashed beer from pitchers, traded jokes and belted out lyrics to a Taylor Swift heartache anthem thundering overhead. As a night out, it had everything — except guys.
Poor little things. All dressed up and there's no guys around.
North Carolina, with a student body that is nearly 60 percent female, is just one of many large universities that at times feel eerily like women’s colleges. . .
Jayne Dallas, a senior studying advertising who was seated across the table, grumbled that the population of male undergraduates was even smaller when you looked at it as a dating pool. “Out of that 40 percent, there are maybe 20 percent that we would consider, and out of those 20, 10 have girlfriends, so all the girls are fighting over that other 10 percent,” she said.
So it's not a matter of there not being guys around, it's a matter of there not being "high value" guys around. Half the guys are written off and they're written off in an environment where there are 3 girls for every 2 guys.
Let's see how the guys see this issue. Some guys are very happy:
Several male students acknowledged that the math skewed pleasantly in their favor. “You don’t have to work that hard,” said Matt Garofalo, a senior at North Carolina. “You meet a girl at a late-night restaurant, she’s texting you the next day.”
But some guys are still schlubs sitting on the outside:
Indeed, there are a fair number of Mr. Lonelyhearts on campus. “Even though there’s this huge imbalance between the sexes, it still doesn’t change the fact of guys sitting around, bemoaning their single status,” said Patrick Hooper, a Georgia senior. “It’s the same as high school, but the women are even more enchanting and beautiful.”
And perhaps still elusive. Many women eagerly hit the library on Saturday night. And most would prefer to go out with friends, rather than date a campus brute.
Just like fat chicks bemoan their fate in life and cry about how wonderful their personalities are, these nice guys are also passed over and they moan and bitch about it. Sometimes they even write to advice columnists (Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]).
Exactly so. When a man appreciate the youthful beauty of an 18 year old, or even a 15 year old, girl, he's not thinking about her as relationship and marriage material. He's looking at women, all women, by their appearance. If a woman is beautiful and appealing, then a man enjoys looking at her. Period. His day has been brightened. When a woman daydreams about some male character in a Harlequin novel, then her day is brightened.
I think men can appreciate
physical beauty, but when it comes to relationships and love -- committing to someone for a lifetime, even when that youth is gone -- it is not what drives
These are the first filters we use, but when we're looking for deeper relationships, then we have to go beyond the first filters and in some cases override them. The man would never seek out the fat girl but circumstance has brought them together or the girl would never want to have anything to do with that guy who wears his Starfleet uniform to the office on casual Fridays but circumstance has put them together and she discovers more about him and begins to find him appealing.
People go beyond their first filters when needed.
Young women start out life rich and young men start out life poor. Women lose their "wealth" as they age and men increase their "wealth" as they age. A 21 year old woman is generally more attractive to men than a 31 year old woman. A 31 year old man is generally more attractive to women than a 21 year old man.
Regarding the 18 year old male? Nothing is attractive unless I'm just judging, physically. And even physically
: the average 18 year old male doesn't hold the physical features I'm most drawn to. There's a rough edge that comes with age. I just like older men. I always have.