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How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

We should be raising our daughters


  • Total voters
    86
Remember that I don't believe in Love. I never have and probably never will. I believe in two things: Right and Wrong. Beyond that there is nothing.

You just stated that a woman's role is to love her family. So why does it matter that she fills a role you don't believe in?
 
I hope your children don't disappoint you the way I did my father, but I suspect some will. Prepare yourself, Tigger.

We're only looking at 1 or 2 of them. If they disappoint me, they essentially get erased from the family history, as if they never existed in the first place. No skin off my nose.


I would imagine she would benefit greatly from being raised by such clearly superior people. Being raised by knuckle-dragging Taliban parents is a curse I would not wish on any girl.

Yep. Those superior parents who would have less than no time for her, leave her mostly to raise herself, and not be involved in anything she does. He's a professor at Florida State and she does research there. An average week for either of them is at least 65-70 hours. They have no interest in having children at all and told both families that long before they got married.


You just stated that a woman's role is to love her family. So why does it matter that she fills a role you don't believe in?

No, I said her job is to support her family, and especially her Husband. Love is irrelevant to the concept, and if I did mention that idea, it was in total error.
 
Yep. Those superior parents who would have less than no time for her, leave her mostly to raise herself, and not be involved in anything she does.



.

Yes -- this WOULD be clearly superior to being raised by a parent whose twisted, pathological need to control would certainly ruin her.
 
To be independent and strong, without becoming cold and uncompromising.
 
And you're getting married.... why?

My fiance and I are well-matched both physically and philosophically. We come from different backgrounds but have very similar views of the world, relationships, and meet each other's needs/compliment each others strenghts and weaknesses. We get along incredibly well. In more than 2 years we've had a grand total of 3 serious arguements, all of which were worked out within a matter of two hours or less.
 
. In more than 2 years we've had a grand total of 3 serious arguements, all of which were worked out within a matter of two hours or less.

That's an awfully quick response there at your local emergency unit.

How many stitches were required each time?
 
No, I said her job is to support her family, and especially her Husband. Love is irrelevant to the concept, and if I did mention that idea, it was in total error.

Tigger said:
It is her greatest achievement to create a home where her husband and family feel comfortable, loved, and supported.

Must have been a Freudian slip, you big softie.
 
That's an awfully quick response there at your local emergency unit. How many stitches were required each time?

None of the arguements have been THAT serious. We've been to the ER several times together but never for anything the other one did. In fact over that 26 month stretch there's only been one act of physical violence from either one of us against the other, and that didn't require any amount of medical treatment.
 
Must have been a Freudian slip, you big softie.

It was a slip up, but not Freudian in nature. Probably just the brain-hand connection getting hosed up for a moment.
 
How should we be raising our daughters these days?

Should we try to instill independence, strength, common sense, confidence, perseverance, self worth, and a strong desire to achieve great things?


Or should we raise them to be dependent, submissive, shy, and always in need of protection? Wallflowers?


Should we push them towards greatness?

Or should we teach them that their place is always in the background?

Should we have a desire for them to be the leader, the captain, the driver?

Or should we teach them to accept always being the passenger, along for the ride but never making the decisions or steering the boat?


Should we raise our daughters as achievers? CEO's? Entrepreneurs? Bosses?

Or should we raise them to be followers?


Should we tell our daughters they can be ANYTHING they wish to be? Whether it be a mother of 5 kids, or the scientist that cures cancer while stationed on Mars after having piloted the first mission to Mars?

Or should we tell our daughters their place is to be a good, quiet, and submissive "second" to their spouse?

Should we raise your daughters to be strong?
Or are they to be weak and defenseless?


How do you think our daughters should be raised today?

Change every instance of "daughters" in your post to "sons". Would your questions be more...or less...valid?

I voted "no different than how we raise our sons", but then...I had two sons and no daughters, so what do I know?
 
Obviously you were looking for an argument when you posted this thread. Don't get upset when someone comes along and disagrees with you. Look at your poll, you were spoiling for an argument from the get go.

#1) You do realize this IS a debate forum right?

#2) Where am I upset?

#3) I could have posted Tigger's response for him. I knew that was coming. Not a surprise to anyone who knows Tigger. Just waiting to see what others post now.

What's your point of view on raising daughters?
 
Change every instance of "daughters" in your post to "sons". Would your questions be more...or less...valid?

I voted "no different than how we raise our sons", but then...I had two sons and no daughters, so what do I know?


Some people obviously think girls should be raised differently.

Some people don't think girls should have equal opportunity to chase dreams like boys do.

It's not just Tigger. My own mother-in-law once told my oldest daughter she should not go to college, and that what she should really do is get married and start a family. I almost lost my cool over that and started a massive family dispute. Almost.

Oldest daughter will be graduating college in May with just under a 4.0 gpa in biology.
Still waiting on replies from medical grad schools at this time.
 
How should we be raising our daughters these days?

Should we try to instill independence, strength, common sense, confidence, perseverance, self worth, and a strong desire to achieve great things?


Or should we raise them to be dependent, submissive, shy, and always in need of protection? Wallflowers?


Should we push them towards greatness?

Or should we teach them that their place is always in the background?

Should we have a desire for them to be the leader, the captain, the driver?

Or should we teach them to accept always being the passenger, along for the ride but never making the decisions or steering the boat?


Should we raise our daughters as achievers? CEO's? Entrepreneurs? Bosses?

Or should we raise them to be followers?


Should we tell our daughters they can be ANYTHING they wish to be? Whether it be a mother of 5 kids, or the scientist that cures cancer while stationed on Mars after having piloted the first mission to Mars?

Or should we tell our daughters their place is to be a good, quiet, and submissive "second" to their spouse?

Should we raise your daughters to be strong?
Or are they to be weak and defenseless?


How do you think our daughters should be raised today?

I have raised only my two sons, but my parenting philosophy was as follows:

Allow them to be who they are.

Seek to maximize their abilities based upon who they are and not according to any of my preconceptions as to how they should be.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Love them thoroughly.

It's funny how little I seek to instill and how much I manage to do so, anyway, and I would say my approach would be the same for a daughter as it was my sons. There is nothing that ruins a child faster than the notion they aren't living up to artificial expectations. Love them for who they are and not for who you want them to be, and they WILL have the sort of confidence that leads to self worth and independence.
 
My fiance and I are well-matched both physically and philosophically. We come from different backgrounds but have very similar views of the world, relationships, and meet each other's needs/compliment each others strenghts and weaknesses. We get along incredibly well. In more than 2 years we've had a grand total of 3 serious arguements, all of which were worked out within a matter of two hours or less.

How sad that the word love doesn't play into it.
 
How sad that the word love doesn't play into it.

I learned very early in life that Love is something that really doesn't exist. She got to wait about a decade longer before she truly learned the truth about the blackness of the human heart. We've both seen the lie that is "love", GottaGo and we no longer believe in it.
 
Some people obviously think girls should be raised differently.

Some people don't think girls should have equal opportunity to chase dreams like boys do.

It's not just Tigger. My own mother-in-law once told my oldest daughter she should not go to college, and that what she should really do is get married and start a family. I almost lost my cool over that and started a massive family dispute. Almost.

Oldest daughter will be graduating college in May with just under a 4.0 gpa in biology.
Still waiting on replies from medical grad schools at this time.

Ahhh...I understand. It's a shame, to me, that people still stereotype genders. While, as I said, I have no daughters, I think I would have raised my daughters the same as I have raised my sons. Heck, my one son who is in college is the first one in his family...including his aunts, uncles, his parents and his cousins...to even go to college. If I had a daughter I would have encouraged her the same way I encouraged my son.
 
#1) You do realize this IS a debate forum right?

#2) Where am I upset?

#3) I could have posted Tigger's response for him. I knew that was coming. Not a surprise to anyone who knows Tigger. Just waiting to see what others post now.

What's your point of view on raising daughters?

My daughter is a college educated liberal.
 
I think that it's obvious that girls should be raised differently - by and large, they are different. That doesn't mean they shouldn't have dreams open to them, but it doesn't mean that they are boys. Generally, boys need to be raised to know that they are and should be someone worthy of respect, where girls need to be raised to know that they are and should be someone worthy of love. I definitely intend to focus on the relevant area for my two boys and my little girl.

Boys are more naturally rough, girls more naturally caring. Girls perhaps have higher EQ's, boys have a higher propensity to hit each other with rocks to see what happens when they do. Boys tend to have more active lives, but shorter attention spans - girls tend to be able to focus for longer periods of time better, but are less likely to seek out physical adventure. Not better or worse, just different.
 
My daughter is a college educated liberal.

:( I feel for you. Do you tell people? Or just make up some story about how she's not a liberal, you swear, she just ran away and joined the circus / works for the mafia beating up children / something less embarrassing than being a college liberal?
 
Pack her a bag, show her the door, take the keys, then remove her from the health insurance and my will. She can go and move in with her Uncle Steven and Aunt Cyndi who both hold doctorates in Genetic Microbiology.

These are some sick, disgusting, and blatantly misogynistic views, Tigger.
 
:( I feel for you. Do you tell people? Or just make up some story about how she's not a liberal, you swear, she just ran away and joined the circus / works for the mafia beating up children / something less embarrassing than being a college liberal?

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:) American and I know each other. I'm pretty sure that he knows that my feelings at his shame of having raised a left-winger are nothing but heartfelt sympathy. I have three children myself, and the odds are that I, too, will fail in such a horrific manner with at least one of them. :(
 
:) American and I know each other. I'm pretty sure that he knows that my feelings at his shame of having raised a left-winger are nothing but heartfelt sympathy. I have three children myself, and the odds are that I, too, will fail in such a horrific manner with at least one of them. :(

That's certainly one way of looking at it. Another way would be that she broke free from the chains of patriarchy that he tried to impose on her. To that young woman, I say, bravo! :applaud
 
These are some sick, disgusting, and blatantly misogynistic views, Tigger.

One out of three (the last one) isnt' too bad of an average, Phys.
 
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