View Poll Results: We should be raising our daughters

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  • like it's the 1700's - dependent and submissive

    3 3.03%
  • as princesses

    6 6.06%
  • no different than how we raise our sons

    17 17.17%
  • to be independent and strong individuals

    66 66.67%
  • squirrel ......

    7 7.07%
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Thread: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

  1. #181
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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhisattva View Post
    I teach high school. There are some great minds out there. Then you get into the middle range students and you shake your head. Don't even bother with the lower end kids because they have zero chance of learning anything other than how to stock shelves or repave the road.
    I am attending a private day school, one that is reputed to be one of the top schools in the US. 200 year tradition, blah blah blah.
    Then the reality: Most students have to be spoon-fed the answers to the test and they still can't get an A, all they have to do for homework is copy the textbook for 30 minutes and they can't do that, 9th graders are now learning basic elementary geometry (I was learning pre-calculus in South Korea before I got here) and content aside, the problems in the textbooks are incredibly easy. Just knowing how the type in the calculator and some incredibly basic word problems. Reading a 200-page novel is worth a month's assignment.

    Then people wonder why US education is so failing.
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  2. #182
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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Proud South Korean View Post
    I am attending a private day school, one that is reputed to be one of the top schools in the US. 200 year tradition, blah blah blah.
    Then the reality: Most students have to be spoon-fed the answers to the test and they still can't get an A, all they have to do for homework is copy the textbook for 30 minutes and they can't do that, 9th graders are now learning basic elementary geometry (I was learning pre-calculus in South Korea before I got here) and content aside, the problems in the textbooks are incredibly easy. Just knowing how the type in the calculator and some incredibly basic word problems. Reading a 200-page novel is worth a month's assignment.

    Then people wonder why US education is so failing.
    It is happening in other countries too... I teach in New Zealand now and the average student thinks that writing a few pages of notes is a ton of work. They moan and act like they did so much. I have kids sitting in some classes that when I go over to see how they are doing since I see them only talking (after 10 minutes of work where I was helping other students) they will hold up a sentence and complain that they have done a lot. It is pathetic.
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  3. #183
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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by opendebate View Post
    I have two kids. A son and a daughter. It's funny how opposite of gender stereotypes they are in lots of ways. My son is a creative, sensitive young man. He is athletic ( played football up through high school ) and now plays in a band and writes music. He is a mix of what many would consider classically male and female qualities. My daughter is very independent and tough, very academic, driven, not particularly creative and about the least athletic human being I have ever seen.

    Point is, I ignored gender roles when raising them. Let their strengths rise to the surface and encouraged them to attempt everything that caught their interest. Gender roles are straight jackets. I suggest we help them discover whatever unique combination of qualities they have, take pride in what they uncover and help them learn not to be afraid of failure. (so long is she isn't an ax murderer under all those pink bows)
    This. This is the approach I got, and I think it's a big part of the reason that I am fairing so much better than most women my age when it comes to self-esteem and direction. No one told me what to be. It was obvious very early what I was, and that got encouraged. It was also very obvious where I was weak, and I was encouraged to use my strengths to counterbalance that.

    There was no aspect of it, except the mundanely obvious and physically necessary, that was centered around my sex or gender. Stuff like my attractiveness, whether I was into a sufficient amount of things girls "should" be into, was deemed so completely unimportant that it never even got raised. I didn't realize this stuff is apparently an obsession to most people until I was several years into school and started seeing the effect it was already having on my peers.

    Girls shouldn't be raised "like boys," because first of all, the way we raise most boys ain't that great either. Men silence themselves into early graves because of the way we raise them. But second of all, which boy would we raise them like?

    We should raise anyone to have all the tools they need to function as an adult and pursue whatever calls them, but beyond that, what's wrong with just raising them based on who they are?
    Last edited by SmokeAndMirrors; 03-07-14 at 10:44 PM.

  4. #184
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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by RiverDad View Post
    Pack her in the car, drive to a local hospice, walk her into a room with two dying people. She can see the rich single woman, dying all alone and then look at the grandmother surrounded by her children and grandchildren who love her dearly and who will live on as a testament to her presence on this earth and will keep their love for this woman alive until their own dying dies.

    Then ask my daughter which fate she prefers - to be alone with her money or her memories of being stuck in a lab working with cultures or with the people who enriched her life?
    Dude, I got news for you. Most old people didn't really have much choice about having kids, and the overwhelming majority of those old people who never get a single visitor? They have kids.

    Self-replicating does not guarantee you a nurse in old age. I have known people who decided not to be such (for reasons that, to me, are valid). There's bazillions of people for whom your "breed for the hospice care" approach has failed. Furthermore, not breeding does not exclude it. There is much more to living and loving, and many more people worth loving, and many ways to love them, and many reasons to stand by them.

    And furthermore, that's an extremely selfish reason to bring someone into the world. That is the most selfish mindset I can possibly imagine.

    And I find it really sad that you think a career dedicated to furthering human welfare and knowledge is so meaningless. You wouldn't have the life you do if it weren't for those people. Sad, truly, that you have so little appreciation for them, and diminish the potential of people so greatly. You owe them your quality of life.

    And finally, family is much more than DNA. I have always known this, but I'm being reminded of it in a very real way at the moment, in fact. My genetic family is very small. My non-genetic family is bigger, and they are just as -- and in some cases, much more -- committed as my genetic family. They are astounding.
    Last edited by SmokeAndMirrors; 03-07-14 at 11:02 PM.

  5. #185
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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
    How should we be raising our daughters these days?
    Could you explain to the forum why you make this poll mutually exclusive?


    Is it really impossible to raise your daughter as a princess who is a strong and independent person? Do you really see females from that jaded POV?

  6. #186
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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    It appears that there are trolls and potential family annihilators on this thread.

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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Yes, but, they are always willing try to blame you and try to have you thinking it is your fault.

    i try not to get hung up on somebody i only know, and still know, online.

  8. #188
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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
    How should we be raising our daughters these days? Should we try to instill independence, strength, common sense, confidence, perseverance, self worth, and a strong desire to achieve great things?

    (rest of original post deleted for brevity)

    How do you think our daughters should be raised today?
    My vote; the same I was raised; to be a strong, independent woman, confident in my ability to do anything I set my mind to, and to avoid being pressured into doing things I DON'T want to do.

    Being a weak, submissive wallflower, dependent on a man for every little thing in life, NEVER sat well with me. It still doesn't.

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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigger View Post
    We need to go back to teaching our daughters that they have a wonderful and extremely important place in the world. A role that no man can ever take over and do as well as she can. She is the foundation of a family. Her husband may be the beautiful house that everyone sees as they drive down the road, but she is the foundation, the support structure that her husband and children are built upon. She is the undisputed ruler of the home. It is her greatest achievement to create a home where her husband and family feel comfortable, loved, and supported.
    GAG

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    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Ocean007 View Post
    GAG
    How did you know that's what I do every time I walk into the office and see women there?

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