View Poll Results: We should be raising our daughters

Voters
99. You may not vote on this poll
  • like it's the 1700's - dependent and submissive

    3 3.03%
  • as princesses

    6 6.06%
  • no different than how we raise our sons

    17 17.17%
  • to be independent and strong individuals

    66 66.67%
  • squirrel ......

    7 7.07%
Page 10 of 43 FirstFirst ... 8910111220 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 427

Thread: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

  1. #91
    Educator LadyMoonlight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    New South Wales, Australia
    Last Seen
    Today @ 03:06 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    842

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigger View Post
    She doesn't believe in Love either, LM. For different reasons we both learned that Love does not really exist before we were 15 years old. We got to see the darkness in the human heart very early in life and understand that the only person anyone looks out for is themselves. She'll be 33 this year and I'll be 40. Neither one of us has found anything to change our view on Love over that period of time.

    The idea that parenthood changes people is one of the reasons I've never had a significant interest in it.
    Love exists, Tigger, I can assure you of that. I love my son, my daughter and my four grand daughters with depth and sincerity. I do not look out for just myself or exist for just myself. Romantic love I have had little of....I loved and lost (my ex-husband walked out one day when the kids were very young) and have not been fortunate enough to have loved, or to have been loved by a man, again. I would (almost) sell my soul to be loved, to have what I see my married colleagues at work have. Tis not to be and I know that leaves me with a hole in my life. Like me, I think that you and your fiance probably wrap a coat of cynicism about love around you...it helps to ward of hurt and disappointment and it means one can avoid all the pain that goes with that. To let one's guard down requires a leap of faith that is difficult to take, but there is a sadness of the soul, an emptiness that comes from spending one's time, in my case decades, protecting ourselves from the hurt that we think love brings.
    I wish you and your fiance happiness if not love in the future.

  2. #92
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    New England
    Last Seen
    05-01-14 @ 03:29 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Very Conservative
    Posts
    12,879

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyMoonlight View Post
    Love exists, Tigger, I can assure you of that. I love my son, my daughter and my four grand daughters with depth and sincerity. I do not look out for just myself or exist for just myself. Romantic love I have had little of....I loved and lost (my ex-husband walked out one day when the kids were very young) and have not been fortunate enough to have loved, or to have been loved by a man, again. I would (almost) sell my soul to be loved, to have what I see my married colleagues at work have. Tis not to be and I know that leaves me with a hole in my life. Like me, I think that you and your fiance probably wrap a coat of cynicism about love around you...it helps to ward of hurt and disappointment and it means one can avoid all the pain that goes with that. To let one's guard down requires a leap of faith that is difficult to take, but there is a sadness of the soul, an emptiness that comes from spending one's time, in my case decades, protecting ourselves from the hurt that we think love brings.
    I wish you and your fiance happiness if not love in the future.
    Thank you for the kind words LM.

    For our own, separate reasons both she and I have hardened ourselves against the world around us. Mine has been a journey of almost 4 decades and hers is approaching the end of its second decade in another month or so. It's amazing what one can survive through, and even appear outwardly to thrive after, while one has gone totally cold on the inside.

  3. #93
    Guru
    Smeagol's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Last Seen
    02-19-17 @ 11:35 PM
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    4,147

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
    How should we be raising our daughters these days?

    Should we try to instill independence, strength, common sense, confidence, perseverance, self worth, and a strong desire to achieve great things?


    Or should we raise them to be dependent, submissive, shy, and always in need of protection? Wallflowers?


    Should we push them towards greatness?

    Or should we teach them that their place is always in the background?

    Should we have a desire for them to be the leader, the captain, the driver?

    Or should we teach them to accept always being the passenger, along for the ride but never making the decisions or steering the boat?


    Should we raise our daughters as achievers? CEO's? Entrepreneurs? Bosses?

    Or should we raise them to be followers?


    Should we tell our daughters they can be ANYTHING they wish to be? Whether it be a mother of 5 kids, or the scientist that cures cancer while stationed on Mars after having piloted the first mission to Mars?

    Or should we tell our daughters their place is to be a good, quiet, and submissive "second" to their spouse?

    Should we raise your daughters to be strong?
    Or are they to be weak and defenseless?


    How do you think our daughters should be raised today?
    I think with skill and wisdom, both but with a qualifier. I think girls should have independence, strength, common sense, confidence, perseverance, self-worth, and a strong desire to achieve greatness instilled in them however if there's a chance she'll be married some day I think its important that she understands the power she has to either propel her husband to greatness or demoralize him. How a wife relates to her husband is often the deciding factor on how he sees himself. If mishandled she can be a key factor in defining HIS self-image and can lead to underachievement or his seeking out affirmation from inappropriate places that then has the potential or harming or even destroying her marriage.

    The easy part is I think the qualities that are instilled are more caught than taught. I'm of the opinion girls don't need to have this explained to them. All they really need is to see it modeled in her own family. If her mother treats her dad like a king, Dad will be literally addicted to Mom in every way and be willing to die for her if need be plus when she grows up that'll be her understanding of how a marriage operates.

    One of my biggest takeaways of the 2012 Presidential election is very likely the reason Mitt Romney has a net worth of $250 million is his wife, Ann Romney, honestly thinks she's married to the greatest man alive today. He so admires her because she's beautiful, strong and intelligent, my guess is he determined she must be right in her assessment of him and has acted like it away from home leading a career in business that has raked in hundreds of million of dollars. She never felt it was personally humiliating to relate to her husband in a way that convinced him that she, the person who admires more than anyone, was his biggest supporter and cheerleader. No, he didn't become President but she still gets to live in a mansion, has a personal staff to cook and clean for her and has a $250,000,000.00 bank account. At the same time there are lots of examples of men who where torn down by their wives who focused on his faults rather than his strengths and have led mediocre lives because the person they looked to most made it clear she had very little respect for him nor his potential or might have been highly successful because they've sought and found affirmation elsewhere.
    Having opinions all over the map is a good sign of a person capable of autonomous thinking. Felix -2011

  4. #94
    Sage
    Phys251's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Georgia
    Last Seen
    Today @ 08:10 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Slightly Liberal
    Posts
    12,710

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by cpwill View Post
    That's interesting. Are you calling American a child-abuser?

    How many children do you have?
    Do you know what it's like to be a child? Right back at you.
    "A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons." --Hillary Rodham Clinton
    "Innocent until proven guilty is for criminal convictions, not elections." --Mitt Romney

  5. #95
    Sage
    cpwill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    USofA
    Last Seen
    Today @ 09:59 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    57,076

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Phys251 View Post
    Do you know what it's like to be a child? Right back at you.
    Literally everyone does .


    But I notice you didn't answer the question. Given that apparently you know American's daughter and how to raise her better than he does, how many children have you, yourself, raised?

    Because the answer that you gave indicates that number is zero, and that you are still caught in the teenage angst of being angry at mommy and daddy.

  6. #96
    Sage
    RiverDad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Last Seen
    04-20-14 @ 02:16 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    5,039

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
    And if your daughter says,

    "Nope - I want to go to college, major in biology, then go to grad school and study genetic-engineering so that I can become a scientist and work on finding cures for childhood diseases."

    What do you do then?
    Pack her in the car, drive to a local hospice, walk her into a room with two dying people. She can see the rich single woman, dying all alone and then look at the grandmother surrounded by her children and grandchildren who love her dearly and who will live on as a testament to her presence on this earth and will keep their love for this woman alive until their own dying dies.

    Then ask my daughter which fate she prefers - to be alone with her money or her memories of being stuck in a lab working with cultures or with the people who enriched her life?

  7. #97
    Sit Nomine Digna
    Carjosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Montreal, QC, Canada
    Last Seen
    Today @ 09:14 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Liberal
    Posts
    11,158

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by RiverDad View Post
    Pack her in the car, drive to a local hospice, walk her into a room with two dying people. She can see the rich single woman, dying all alone and then look at the grandmother surrounded by her children and grandchildren who love her dearly and who will live on as a testament to her presence on this earth and will keep their love for this woman alive until their own dying dies.

    Then ask my daughter which fate she prefers - to be alone with her money or her memories of being stuck in a lab working with cultures or with the people who enriched her life?
    Now tell me why does wanting to be microbiologist lead to a life of loneliness? You can have both. Why do you not want your daughter to live her own life?

  8. #98
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    The anals of history
    Last Seen
    07-25-15 @ 02:05 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Progressive
    Posts
    10,348

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Raise them to be women, to embrace their femininity and not try to teach them to be like men.

  9. #99
    Sage
    RiverDad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Last Seen
    04-20-14 @ 02:16 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    5,039

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
    Some people obviously think girls should be raised differently.

    Some people don't think girls should have equal opportunity to chase dreams like boys do.

    It's not just Tigger. My own mother-in-law once told my oldest daughter she should not go to college, and that what she should really do is get married and start a family. I almost lost my cool over that and started a massive family dispute. Almost.

    Oldest daughter will be graduating college in May with just under a 4.0 gpa in biology.
    Still waiting on replies from medical grad schools at this time.
    The criticism being directed at you regarding the poll is that the poll is grotesquely slanted. The mark of an honest debater is to make the very best case that can be made for the position that they oppose and then to attack the opposing position's strongest case.

    If you really think that those with a vision opposed to yours make their strongest case by pointing to the 17th Century, then you're deep into an ideological bubble.

  10. #100
    Sage
    RiverDad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Last Seen
    04-20-14 @ 02:16 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    5,039

    re: How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

    Quote Originally Posted by Carjosse View Post
    Now tell me why does wanting to be microbiologist lead to a life of loneliness? You can have both. Why do you not want your daughter to live her own life?
    I know quite a few women who are professors in the biological sciences. The road from university, to graduate school, through the thickets of conducting original research for a dissertation, hopping from one post-doc appointment to another until one can snag a faculty position and then having to scour around for funding doesn't leave much room for romance nor for a dual-career couple working in the same city. The upshot is that it's much easier to travel that road as a single woman than as a married woman. Science really is a lifestyle choice.

Page 10 of 43 FirstFirst ... 8910111220 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •