Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?
I didn't say it was the major focus of your argument here. However, it was the point that you made and we were discussing
There are plenty of sexually disinterested shut-ins, and people like myself, who have simply stopped trying to date, in the United States as well.
Most of the same driving principles which lead to this state of affairs in Japan, also lead to it here. There are simply fewer of them.
You mean like the Japanese trends of
1) despising sex
2) being sexually inactive
3) firing women who get married
4) looking down on married women who work
5) young single adults living at home forever
Please name these modern societies where the above five trends hold true (I'll give you one - #5 is true in Italy, but I'd like to see you argue that the Italians despise sex and are sexually inactive)
Plenty of people in the United States are guilty of number 5, and it is growing more common every year. Numbers 2 - 4 are arguably true of our society as well (depending upon how much credence one lends to feminist claims of workplace discrimination), but simply to a lesser degree than in Japan. Number 1 is, at the moment, anyway, peculiar to Japan.
However, all of this ultimately irrelevant, as none of these factors are the major driving forces behind Japan's current problems.
Again, even highly "progressive" societies, like Sweden, which take the economic edge off of childrearing almost entirely, suffer from the same problems with lack of marriages, slovenly men, and low birthrates as are faced by Japan.
And RuPaul could conceivably be elected president and issue an executive order requiring everyone to be fabulous
And some Austrian nobody with one testicle and a loopy anti-Semitic bone to pick could, in the course of just a few years, take control of one of the most powerful nations on earth and plunge the entire world into a half decade long war costing the lives of millions.
Implausible, no?
The simple fact of the matter is that it's already happened once. There's really no reason to assume that it couldn't happen again, especially when many of the same factors (a bum economic, women disinterested in relationships, electronic alternatives to sex, ecta) are at play.
Yes, the standards required by tradition (a man who can earn enough to provide for the entire family) are unrealistic.
My family did it, and they did it on a salary that wasn't much more than 50K a year for most of the time I was growing up. :shrug:
It is viewed as being
undesirable, however; so most people avoid it.
The men can't provide for a family. That's why they, like the women, live with their parents.
The Japanese often live with their parents either way regardless until marriage (and will actually inherit their parents' homes after they die under many circumstances as well), so that particular point is ultimately moot.
Again, what is the cost of living in Japan? How much does it cost to raise a family?
We already know that more than half of single men in Japan fall into the 2 to 6 million yen salary range. How much is needed?
If marriage were really as important to you as you claim, you should be gladly rushing to marry a woman. That is, if you didn't have such unrealistic expectations.
I never said that it was particularly important to me for the time being. It is a long term goal, dependent upon certain outside conditions.
It can wait a few years until I am better established, which I
fully intend to happen.
If it doesn't, I might just stuff a gun in my mouth (or, at the very least, take up cooking meth, or something :lol: ).
The fact is, the women don't have financial woes. They live with their parents. Their rent is paid. Their food is paid. They just have to buy clothes and Hello Kitty dolls.
Clearly that life style is more important to them than the marriages they claim to desire.
More than most of the men are making,
Prove it.
which is why they live at home with their parents
Living with one's parents is a cultural norm in Japan.
It's not universal and Japan is not a "post-feminist" society. It is a very sexist nation that clings to traditional gender roles. In fact, the article you link to even agrees. It says:
Does that sound like a "post-feminist" society to you?
They have careers at all. Yes, it does.
Frankly, everything you've claimed here could be (and often is) claimed by feminist groups about United States' culture as well.
you don't seem to realize that the article contradicts your claim. You quoted things that are the exact opposite of what you're saying and you seem to think it agrees with you. I'll break it down for you
They're saying that in Japan, they are expected to get married and not work, which is consistent with traditional values. That's not feminism at work.
Again, consistent with traditional values.
Women are becoming more educated (inconsistent with traditional values) but once they graduate, they can't continue to work once they get married (consistent with traditional values)
Yes, all of which supports my claim that they
do not desire "traditional values" and are actually remaining single to avoid them.
The problem in Japan is that they are clinging too stubbornly to the traditional model of marriage where the woman does not work, and the man is the sole provider.
Again, many of these same problems exist even in the most "gender equal" societies on Earth.
The stubbornness to which you refer undoubtedly plays a role in pushing Japan completely over the edge in comparison to other nations. However, it's not like the rest of the industrialized world was ever doing particularly great in this regard in the first place.
The "career oriented" model of female empowerment simply does not mesh with the notions of motherhood and committed relationships under most circumstances.
The men don't earn enough to support a family. Your own link says that it is "often impossible".
That is their perception. It doesn't mean that it is necessarily true on an objective basis.
And if they can't have a two-income marriage because, in Japan, they fire married women or at the very least, pass them over for promotions because they think the women will leave to take care of their children.
That would only render the situation difficult, not impossible.
These men don't even earn enough to be able to afford to date. Do you really think they can afford to support a family on their income?
I find it exceptionally hard to believe that so large a portion of Japanese society could be destitute as to be rendered completely incapable of supporting a family.
According to some studies, many Japanese men who actually can support themselves simply prefer to be single.
Increasing number of Japanese men opt for bachelorhood
This is a trend that apparently goes both ways.