Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?
Who cares what the standard is? If it doesnt work...
Who says that it doesn't "work?" It "works" just fine at what most of the people in my generation actually want to do; namely screw around and be uncommitted.
It simply happens to be the case that it does not "work" when it comes to bringing about long term relationships, or engendering healthy ideas of gender relations.
We all did that in my earlier days too, it's not new.
Not to the same extent my generation does.
American Psychological Association - Sexual Hook-Up Culture
NY Times - The End of Courtship?
I can personally attest to the impacts of both phenomena on inter-gender interaction in the twenty something age group.
While I have "hung out" plenty of times, I haven't been on a single "date" since High School. Most women I know would look at me like I had three heads if I were to even suggest such a thing.
It simply
isn't done.
Online dating can provide an alternative, but even that is a bit of a non-starter if you're looking for something serious and don't have the economic assets available to make yourself desirable to "serious minded" women.
I don't know how else to say this, but the simple fact of the matter is that women are
shallow when it comes to this kind of thing. They're not looking for a guy with student loan debt up to his eye-balls and an income of less than 20K a year when it comes to dating. :shrug:
There are a million ways to meet people and it's not a secret. If 'that generation' CHOOSES to rely on a method that doesnt work...good, maybe they wont reproduce.
Which, in case you haven't noticed, is pretty much exactly what we have been talking about. Women are putting serious relationships off, and so are men, which has resulted in depressed marriage and birth rates across the board.
Get over the excuses...has nothing to do with money once you know someone thru a group or organization and arent just a body in a bar. Money matters alot less when you actually know the person. You are so full of excuses it's pathetic.
Uh-huh. :roll:
You implied it was for the purpose relationship building.
You misunderstood. It's
not for the purposes of "relationship building," because that's exactly how most people in my age group
want it.
That's exactly the point.
Why is that? Why do they choose to do this? It is, after all, THEIR choice. If it's economically based, that does not have anything to do with women choosing careers before marriage. If it's a general principle, checking out of society is on them and they can have their principles to keep them warm at night. What you have done is make the case that these men have a problem they are creating for themselves and they are blaming women.
A lot of women have stopped behaving as society believes women should, so a lot of men have returned the favor by ceasing to behave as society thinks men should.
Turnabout
is fair play, you know. I fail to see why this is such a hard concept to comprehend. :shrug:
Do you think the whole "tough as nails" / "stiff upper lip" / "competitive killer" role men are expected to fill is any more fun for us than the "brood mare" archetype you have made such a point of complaining about where women are concerned?
From a strictly objective standpoint, why
should men hold up "their end of the bargain" if women are not going to do the same?
No one needs to bend over backwards. How do you think people met before bars? Social interaction at church and public functions. That's how.
This isn't the late 1970s, or early to mid 1980s any more. People aren't doing things like your generation did.
Either a guy wants a relationship and he puts the work in to find one, or he sits around complaining there are no good women falling into his lap while he's sitting around complaining about bending over backwards to find one.
Who's complaining? It is what it is. I'm simply explaining why many men feel the way they do.
As far as my own situation is concerned, I've come to accept the fact that even trying to look for a "good woman" at this phase of my life is a waste of time. They're few and far between, and the kind that would actually be interested in the same things I am would be turned off by my financial and professional circumstances anyway.
What's a guy to do?
Wait a few years until things improve (and hopefully women grow up a bit) and then come back to try again, I suppose. :shrug:
Divorce is another topic. The topic of this thread is marrying American women, with a side debate on why some men won't even look for one.
And you don't think that our sky-high divorce rate and the abundance of women out there running off with "half" (before requiring men to pay for children they're probably not even going to be allowed to ever see again forever afterwards) might not play a role in that decision?
