View Poll Results: Men: Would you marry an American Woman?

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    72 70.59%
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Thread: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I don't see how this is even relevant. Even if it's true, that doesn't make the man dominant either, so . . . irrelevant.

    Who said anything about a "dominant" provider? Why are you changing things up now? The person who earns more money is most certainly not always the dominant personality in the relationship.
    Ummm... I did.

    As I said earlier, men and women generally tend to "dominate" different aspects of the relationship. "Providing" and protection are the roles towards which men, by any objective measure, most often gravitate.

    What this means as far as the "balance of power" in a relationship is ultimately debatable.

    It is still entirely possible for a "submissive" woman who defers to her partner on most practical decisions to have him completely "whipped" in other regards, after all. Lol

    I don't think it's true. I think MOST relationships are a partnership.
    Have I ever denied that?

    Just because one partner may or may not be more interpersonally assertive than the other, does not mean that the relationship is not still a partnership.

    As Smoke said earlier, no one is dominant in everything they do. People have different aptitudes, and different interests.

    They tend to take control over those aspects of the relationship in which they feel most comfortable.

    Quote Originally Posted by LowDown View Post
    Interesting stuff, but why stop there? What about the effects of estrogen in terms of making people over emotional, irrational, and generally unfit for stressful work?

    That would, of course, be "scientific" work that came out of the 1930's, quite dated and no longer considered valid, but it served to keep women down by explaining their very human nature as a kind of disease, just as you are doing with men now.

    Any attempt to explain women's sometimes irrational behavior in terms of their hormones is regarded as misogyny. Why is this permissible with men?
    Who ever suggested that there was anything wrong with men being more aggressive or prone to "social dominance" in the first place?
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-03-14 at 11:47 AM.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    As I said earlier, men and women generally tend to "dominate" different aspects of the relationship.
    Take toilet seat positioning, for instance......
    "you're better off on Stormfront discussing how evil brown men are taking innocent white flowers." Infinite Chaos

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Ummm... I did.

    As I said earlier, men and women generally tend to "dominate" different aspects of the relationship. "Providing" and protection are the roles towards which men, by any objective measure, most often gravitate.

    What this means as far as the "balance of power" in a relationship is ultimately debatable.

    It is still entirely possible for a "submissive" woman who defers to her partner on most practical decisions to have him completely "whipped" in other regards, after all. Lol
    So basically Gathomas, you are saying that NOBODY really is the dominant entity in the relationship. THANK YOU for finally agreeing with me! Lol!





    Have I ever denied that?

    Just because one partner may or may not be more interpersonally assertive than the other, does not mean that the relationship is not still a partnership.

    As Smoke said earlier, no one is dominant in everything they do. People have different aptitudes, and different interests.

    They tend to take control over those aspects of the relationship in which they feel most comfortable.
    Well then what are you still arguing with me if you agree that I am right?

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Maybe that's your personal experience, but I'm sure that it's not the case with all couples. I'm sure a lot of couples discuss and agree upon who does what chores related to the household and kids. Most people have to do this because they have full-time jobs and are busy with extracurricular activities for the children, etc. There is no TIME to worry about who is the "dominant" one in the relationship. That is stupid. Unless you feel like you are or have been abused, then if you don't like your relationship you can leave and find one better suited to you instead of trying to assert "dominance" over another human being so that they become what you want.
    It's the experience of a lot of couples: The Difference Between a Happy Marriage and Miserable One: Chores - Wendy Klein, Carolina Izquierdo, & Thomas N. Bradbury - The Atlantic I'd differ from the article, though, in saying that coming to a mutual understanding about this issue is for the most part a pipe dream. That would require both people to be flexible. For most couples that's a non-starter. The way it really happens is that someone asserts dominance.

    In keeping with the precedence set in this thread of making unfounded assumptions concerning other people's personal lives, I'd suggest if you ever do have a long term relationship with someone you'll find it's a lot more difficult to settle these issues than you seem to think.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    So basically Gathomas, you are saying that NOBODY really is the dominant entity in the relationship. THANK YOU for finally agreeing with me! Lol!
    Yes, but it is sort of a nuanced situation.

    While I still maintain that men are naturally inclined to be the more interpersonally assertive partner in a relationship, (barring abusive forms of control) no one is "dominant" in any aspect of a relationship unless the other person ALLOWS them to be.

    This results in a state of affairs where, as men and women usually have different interests and aptitudes, the different genders tend to "dominate" different aspects of the relationship, simply because the one partner has a tendency to defer to the other on issues with which they do not feel terribly comfortable.

    In most heterosexual relationships, this leads to men "dominating" more practical affairs, while women "dominate" domestic affairs and (arguably) the health of the relationship itself, as they are the ones who most commonly iniate break-ups and divorces.

    Regardless of "dominant" or "submissive" interpersonal tendencies, things ultimately balance themselves out.

    Well then what are you still arguing with me if you agree that I am right?
    It's hardly my fault if you keep starting crap up again after we've already come to an agreement!

    I'm starting to think that you just like to fight, Chris.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-03-14 at 12:16 PM.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gardener View Post
    Take toilet seat positioning, for instance......
    Yes, it's literally the law in some European countries that women are always right about that. Men are responsible for making sure that women don't do a late night butt dive. It's the man's responsibility if some woman doesn't check the toilet seat.

    In some places men aren't even allowed to pee standing up.

    That pretty much settles the issue of whether or not men are being disrespected in those places at any rate.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Well, no. Not really. I commited the cardinal sin of describing things how they actually are in an overly direct manner.

    Again, all politically correct assertions to the contrary aside, I have seen absolutely no evidence whatsoever to suggest that a relationship dynamic favoring a more interpersonally assertive male and a somewhat less interperssonally assertive female is not the norm under most circumstances.

    As S&M's example attests, even very aggressive women tend to prefer men who are at least equal in assertiveness to themselves, and often times even more so.

    The same simply cannot be said of most men.

    It is what it is, and I don't see any reason to quibble around "P.C." sensibilities on the issue.


    While discussing the intricacies and dynamics of interpersonal relationships between sexes in an academic manner, may be interesting, and men appear dominant, you could be missing one small detail?

    "Happy wife, happy life."

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Sure. I can be much the same way.

    While I prefer a woman who is at least somewhat sweet and "ladylike," I really don't mind a somewhat feisty girl either.

    It adds sort of an interesting dynamic to things. I actually find it to be kind of cute, to be honest.

    You've got it right, that men and women can play different roles in a relationship, depending on personality traits, but I wouldn't get overly caught up in analyzing sexist generalities, simply because people are too complicated. There are some common occurrences (truths) that you can talk about to other men, but I'd caution bringing them up in front of women, even in an educational form. The same way they talk to each other about the "dumb dog" traits, common in men.

    What really makes a couple work is a partnership, where each one supports the other. If you care enough about your significant other, you'll be amazed at what you'll do and change. When there's an unspoken loyalty and respect being exchanged, you develop a level of transparency and trust that surpasses all the little character flaws, defects and gender defined proclivities to embrace a greater union. There is no "boss", chief or primary personality and though one or the other often leads in the dance, they must always be aware that there is "no dance", without a partner.

    If I ever took lead for my family, it was out of love and servitude, not for my ego.
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by LowDown View Post
    It's the experience of a lot of couples: The Difference Between a Happy Marriage and Miserable One: Chores - Wendy Klein, Carolina Izquierdo, & Thomas N. Bradbury - The Atlantic I'd differ from the article, though, in saying that coming to a mutual understanding about this issue is for the most part a pipe dream. That would require both people to be flexible. For most couples that's a non-starter. The way it really happens is that someone asserts dominance.

    In keeping with the precedence set in this thread of making unfounded assumptions concerning other people's personal lives, I'd suggest if you ever do have a long term relationship with someone you'll find it's a lot more difficult to settle these issues than you seem to think.
    LOL! Funny, I have had a LTR, and we lived together too . . . in SIN!!!!

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Yes, but it is sort of a nuanced situation.

    While I still maintain that men are naturally inclined to be the more interpersonally assertive partner in a relationship, (barring abusive forms of control) no one is "dominant" in any aspect of a relationship unless the other person ALLOWS them to be.

    This results in a state of affairs where, as men and women usually have different interests and aptitudes, the different genders tend to "dominate" different aspects of the relationship, simply because the one partner has a tendency to defer to the other on issues with which they do not feel terribly comfortable.

    In most heterosexual relationships, this leads to men "dominating" more practical affairs, while women "dominate" domestic affairs and (arguably) the health of the relationship itself, as they are the ones who most commonly iniate break-ups and divorces.

    Regardless of "dominant" or "submissive" interpersonal tendencies, things ultimately balance themselves out.



    It's hardly my fault if you keep starting crap up again after we've already come to an agreement!

    I'm starting to think that you just like to fight, Chris.
    Well I think you like to fight simply because you keep bringing the word "dominance" into the equation, when someone, for instance, letting the other partner handle the check book is NOT being submissive. BOTH partners are equal in the relationship. If one is dominating the other, then that is kind of an abusive relationship.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    LOL! Funny, I have had a LTR, and we lived together too . . . in SIN!!!!
    I think things often work a lot better if you never get married, so enjoy.

    "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule." --HL Mencken

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