View Poll Results: Men: Would you marry an American Woman?

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Thread: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

  1. #1211
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter King View Post
    I would love to marry an American woman, especially my favorite lady with whom I have an excellent internet relationship with for the past 8 years or so.
    What are you waiting for then? But as I have warned, all the rules are stacked against you if for some reason she becomes dissatisfied with your marriage down the road. I hear people thinking about getting married say that they are sure their marriage will not fall within that 60%+ that ultimately fail. Of course they believe that. I don't think anyone gets married with the thought that they will get a divorce, but it happens. And it happens 60% of the time.. And more than 70% of the time, the male has no control over it because 70% of the initiators are women. Go ahead and get married. Marriage use to be a tool that leveled the field within a relationship when women did not have workplace rights they have today. Now they have them, and the institution of marriage has not changed along with that change. Marriage is still treated as a protectorate of women and their financial well being even as they are virtually equal in todays workplace. What happens is men who get divorced in the US, many times end up in financial ruin. If you want to put your financial future at risk, that's your choice. But I advise all young men that are willing to listen to skip marriage completely until men have equal rights in that realm.

    Men in the US are not being disrespected by American women.
    Are you blind? Men are continually the butt of jokes and its openly expressed throughout our society. Women treat men terribly in America. They use their sexual worth to manipulate men into getting what they want out of a relationship. The minute the man figures out what she is doing, she is on to the next man doing it to him. Or even worse, the man never figures this out and becomes a dog on a leash wagging his tail for every small tidbit treat his wife gives him. He becomes a broken man, totally subservient to her.

    It's sad, and I see it everywhere. Many here may not be interested in nightlife or going to bars or clubs but it is rife there. I love to do people watching type activities and all you have to do is sit in a bar and watch the social dynamic that goes on. Women are extreamly manipulative and down right mean sometimes. Its really interesting to watch them play their little games with poor unsuspecting guys that aproach them. Weather it be for free drinks, or amusing entertainment, most men in these establishments are mere free entertainment to these women. Entertainment for them to brag to their girlfriends about.. About how many guys they told off, or how many guys hit on them.. Its all an exercise in ego inflation and they love the attention.

    American women are tired of being second to men at every turn.
    2nd to men?? Let me give you some statistics here and then tell me men are still 2nd to women in our society.

    Women, on many campuses, make up over 50% to as high as nearly 70% on some college campuses. Women earn most of the degree's in the US.
    Men make up over 95% of workplace deaths.
    Men commit suicide 3 times more often then women, and as much as 7 times more likely once they reach old age.
    Women live longer by 3-5 years depending on what stats you look at
    Women make up more than 70% of the consumer spending in the US (but somehow make less then men, interesting)
    Women initiate divorce 70% of the time

    And those are just a few statistics, there are many more that should sway anyone with a working brain that men are certainly not ahead of women.



    Family law is there for the children and not for the dads. Usually it is the mother anyway who is taking care of the children even if both work.
    That is because most women will not marry a man that makes less money than she does. Men who are willing homemakers, or willing to sacrifice a meaningful career to take care of children so a woman can continue her career simply do not attract women. Women demand equality, but still carry many traditional values themselves that they need to adjust. They need to be willing to lower their standards in the area of marrying a man who wants to be successful in the workplace. Women want their men to be well educated and high earners in the workplace, but at the same time complain that men do not take their fare share of the housework. Well, you can't have both! And if you marry a man that wants to have a successful career, don't be surprised when he WANTS A SUCCESSFUL CAREER! The most successful people are going to be the ones willing to work the longer hours and put more effort into advancing. When you have a family, you simply do not have the same amount of time to invest as someone who is single and has a lot less responsibilities at home.

    Men have been ruling the roost for centuries and now only women are standing up for themselves and being counted and seen as equals to men. Not by some men but in general women have finally taken their rightful place in society.
    Their rightful place? I thought the whole point was to give women the CHOICE to enter the workplace if they wanted. Nothing about being career minded makes one better then another. In fact, I believe, that telling women they have to go out and work simply made Men equal to Women and not the other way around. Men, for centuries, have had no choice to work. Working jobs they don't like, putting their lives on the line to support their family. Now women are expected to contribute financially as well as maintain the family. Before, the roles were evenly spread between a couple. While women did not have a say in what role they would play in a relationship, neither did men. Both men and women had roles and societal expectations that came with those roles. We like to pretend that only men had a choice, but they never had a choice. And they still don't have a choice today. A mans choice if he wishes to be successful with women is to work....work....or work. That has never changed... A womans choices have expanded. She has the choice to work or stay at home if she wishes. A choice men dont have. When men get married they have a choice to work...work...work... when children come the mans choices change to... work... work overtime...work more than one job. Where as a woman has a choice, a man does not. Not unless he wishes his wife to divorce him at least. The real fight should be to expand a man's choices. There needs to be a push to change societies view that men who do not work are deadbeats or undateable. They may be great fathers!!! If women have the choice, men should as well!

    And the men who are being told that they are worthless and stupid often are actually stupid and worthless. Women will no longer be reduced to being barefoot and pregnant slaves for their men.
    And men need to stop being enslaved into the workplace for women. Need to stop being slain on the battlefield to protect women. Men have been enslaved by women for centuries. Both sexes have been enslaved to each other for centuries. In all acutality, both statements are pure ignorance. There was always a really good reason men and women had traditional roles. The reason those roles existed have only, in recent time, been deemed unecessary due to technology. 100 years ago, the workplace was not safe for women which is why there has always been traditional gender roles until recently. Men have not enslaved women. To say so is just ignorance. Both men and women traded their own freedoms to each other in order to survive life and pass that life on to the next generation. This whole idea that men have enslaved women is pure rubbish.
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  2. #1212
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    They work almost as much outside of the house and do the house work and children duties on top of their out of the house work. Disrespecting men has not become the standard practice, what has become the standard practice is that women are equal to men and no longer will allow men to boss them around while they lie on the couch and bark out orders.
    When women are willing to mary men who make significantly less, or even just have no job at all... Then we will be equal. But now, the inequality is not female in nature.. It is male. Power over ones life is the true measure of equality. Men do not have that power. As I explained above, men have 3 choices if they want to be looked at as successful in today's society. He can work...work...or work. If he does not, he is left in the lower class and is looked at negatively in society. Women don't want to marry lower class men. All a woman has to do to be "successful" in todays society is be attractive. And if she is not attractive, she can work her way to success. If she is attractive, she has her choice of men willing to work hard to support her lifestyle. If she is not, she has more than ample opportunity to educate herself and join the workforce. Men do not have this choice even if they are attractive. It gets even worse when women get pregnant. They can't work for at least a year. And even after that, women will leave a man if HE cant support the family still. so men have a choice.. to work.. work overtime.. or work more than one job. If a man asks his wife if he can choose to stay home with the kids while she works, she will leave tiremarks in the driveway and send him the alimony/child support requests in the mail.

    Men need to wise up and realize that they age of the rule of men is over, the age of equal men and women is here and now. Men have been stuck in their attitudes, that is why the weak bossy men of the past feel disrespected, treated like children and who feel that they are being targeted by the law, attitudes of women and the reality of 2014. And they are dropping out because of arrested development, men have a childish attitude to many things and in 2014 they have to become partners in a relationship and some men are just stuck in the past.
    You are correct, men are still stuck in their ways. They need to demand the same rights women have.
    - There was never a good war, or a bad peace.
    - Idealistically, everything should work as you planed it to. Realistically, it depends on how idealistic you are as to the measure of success.
    - Better to be a pessimist before, and an optimist afterwords.

  3. #1213
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cephus View Post
    That's only when people rush to the altar and don't take the time to get to know their prospective mate. If you haven't known them for at least 5 years, you're doing it too fast.
    I used to feel that way. That is, until I met my wife and there was no hesitation on my part nor hers. I met her overseas on a business trip, she came to stay with me for a couple months, and we mutually decided there was no way she was getting back on a plane for the return ticket. We had mutual attraction, each a graduate-level education, likes in common, plus complementary strengths. We never even had to discuss responsibilities, we fit together so well. Both in our 30's, we were mature enough to recognize that our attraction wasn't just some physical attraction that would be short-term.

    To respond to the OP, I had a pretty good feeling I would end up marrying a foreign lady, and for some of the reasons mentioned. I even told my wife soon after she arrived in the US that I expected to be the man of the house and in charge of the family, but to remember that included the promise to put her and our kids before myself in every positive way. While she does teach part-time, we're both happy in a family where I'm the main provider for the family and she is the care taker.
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I like that word much better when it comes to a relationship in general.
    I agree that it probably is a better word to use in general.

    However, I would still maintain that, generally speaking, men are a bit more interpersonally assertive than women and that men and women alike tend to be more "dominant" in different aspects of their relationships.

    Childrearing, for instance, is usually something over which a woman has a level of control with which men could not hope to compete. This is due to the maternal instincts by which women come naturally.

    The same goes for most decisions pertaining to what happens within the household itself during a committed relationship. Women are so notorious for moving into a man's house and promptly rearranging everything, as a matter of fact, that it has honestly become a bit of a cliché.

    Likewise, I think men tend to naturally be rather practical in terms of their mindset, and they are "wired" to serve as protectors and providers, so those are aspects of the relationship to which they most often gravitate.

    This isn't universally the case, of course. Variation can be observed to exist for various reasons. However, it is the case more often than not in the vast majority of heterosexual relationships.

    Quote Originally Posted by opendebate View Post
    Okay, I understand your point better now. I still think that it is inaccurate though
    You can believe what you will in this regard, but I have seen absolutely nothing to suggest that my observations here are incorrect.

    Again, even most of the women in this thread have made comments at least vaguely similar to the sentiments I have expressed here.

    That's not true. The balance is something that requires alot conscious effort and hard work. Relying on it to "fall naturally into place" means there is a lot of mind reading going on. Frankly, that never works. Communication works.
    Then I'd frankly believe that you were overthinking it. Communication is essential, of course, to ensure that both members' of a relationship are having their needs and expectations met, but constantly obsessing over "power" in a relationship simply doesn't strike me as being productive. It actually gives off the impression of latent distrust and insecurity.

    It was certainly not something with which my parents were ever overly concerned.

    The problem here IMO, is that you see it as a challenge. A challenge to what exactly? Your dominance? In a partnership, where both are equal a disagreement with you does not mean your power is being challenged it means the women is requesting her needs be considered
    I'm not talking about disagreements. I'm talking about women who not only need to do everything their own way come Hell or high water, but try to impose their way of doing things upon their partners as well. I'm talking about domineering women who basically try to act more like a man's boss or mother than a partner.

    Now, while there might very well be some particularly weak willed or desperate men out there who do not mind that kind of thing, most men are going to view it as exactly what it is; a controlling power play, and challenge to our way of doing things. It is another person trying to impose their will upon us, and most men simply don't handle that very well.

    By and large when we are looking to start a relationship, we are looking for a lover and a partner, not a rival or nagging mother substitute. That's exactly what such women often tend to come off as.

    To use only a few examples, I once took a long road trip from South Carolina to Kentucky with a girl I was involved with. On the way, we drive through the Smoky Mountains in West Virginia.

    The location is relevant as it indicates that I come from a very flat part of the country, which means that I don't have a lot of experience driving over mountain roads. I'm also a fairly aggressive driver, so it's not uncommon for people I drive with to freak out a bit even when I'm driving on city roads that I know well.

    In spite of all of this, however; the girl in question never said a word about my driving, and never showed so much as a single sign of fear or anxiousness over the course of the whole trip. She didn't even ask to drive. She seemed to have honestly just trusted me to get the job done, and that was, if we're being honest, kind of a good feeling.

    It was also kind of comforting that she'd have that level of confidence in my abilities, as I was frankly scaring myself a little bit.

    On the flip side of that, however; there is another girl I work with who is almost completely the opposite. She flirts with me a lot, and she's certainly not bad looking or even particularly rude, but she's definitely a more "dominant" personality. She seems to have a need to basically take "control" of almost everything around her.

    While she makes a point of busting pretty much everyone's balls, I had one run in with her in particular a while back which lingered in my mind. I had purchased a bottle of water on my lunch break that day which was basically defective. The lid had melted on so that it wouldn't screw off.

    Her almost instant basic reaction to seeing me struggle to get it open was to snatch the damn thing out of my hands, and scold me like a child the whole time while she went about opening it herself with a box cutter (which ended up not even working). I laughed the whole thing off, but it was kind of off-putting to say the least.

    Frankly, that's kind of exactly the point.

    The first girl is what I would consider to be "submissive" and the second is much more clearly "dominant." While neither extreme in its purest sense is really what I would consider to be "ideal," I think it can be said that I would much rather date the former than the latter if I had the choice.

    The overbearing interpersonal style of the second girl is something I simply couldn't put up with for very long without pushing back against her. That would result in such a ridiculous level of conflict as to render the entire relationship unworkable.

    Women don't seem to have this reaction a lot of the times. Again, as S&M's example attests, even women with extremely aggressive personalities will look for a man with a level of assertiveness to match or even surpass their own.

    Dominant men, by and large, show no such preference.

    Generalizations are dangerous
    And often true.

    Quote Originally Posted by grip View Post
    I like women with some sass, humor and quirkiness but also reasonable and intelligent. Beyond that, I'm not saying anymore, because honestly, life is a mess and we're all just doing the best we know how.
    Sure. I can be much the same way.

    While I prefer a woman who is at least somewhat sweet and "ladylike," I really don't mind a somewhat feisty girl either.

    It adds sort of an interesting dynamic to things. I actually find it to be kind of cute, to be honest.

    Quote Originally Posted by SmokeAndMirrors View Post
    I think this is true of nearly everyone. I have never met any dominant person -- male or female -- who is dominant in everything, and has the stamina to be dominant all the time without break. Never.
    Which is pretty much exactly what I've been saying all along. Most people simply don't care enough to be dominant "all the time" even if they do possess a more typically "assertive" personality; nor would they even necessarily possess the aptitude.

    I simply believe that, more often than not, men and women possess different aptitudes and interpersonal styles, and this often reflects itself in how they approach relationships.

    In these regards, men are more likely to be "dominant" than women on the whole.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-02-14 at 10:47 PM.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    I agree that it probably is a better word to use in general.

    However, I would still maintain that, generally speaking, men are a bit more interpersonally assertive than women and that men and women alike tend to be more "dominant" in different aspects of their relationships.

    Childrearing, for instance, is usually something over which a woman has a level of control with which men could not hope to compete. This is due to the maternal instincts by which women come naturally.

    The same goes for most decisions pertaining to what happens within the household itself during a committed relationship. Women are so notorious for moving into a man's house and promptly rearranging everything, as a matter of fact, that it has honestly become a bit of a cliché.

    Likewise, I think men tend to naturally be rather practical in terms of their mindset, and they are "wired" to serve as protectors and providers, so those are aspects of the relationship to which they most often gravitate.

    This isn't universally the case, of course. Variation can be observed to exist for various reasons. However, it is the case more often than not in the vast majority of heterosexual relationships.
    Hey, got a link to any that?

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Hey, got a link to any that?
    The link between "dominant" behaviors and personality types and testosterone is pretty well studied.

    In men, it is obvious.

    Testosterone, Antisocial Behavior, and Social Dominance in Boys: Pubertal Development and Biosocial Interaction

    However, it can be observed in women as well.

    Studies have actually shown that women with "dominant" personalities are more likely to have sons, specifically because they have so much more testosterone running through their systems than the average woman.

    Sex determination and the maternal dominance hypothesis

    Simply put: More testosterone = more dominant personalities.

    Guess what men have more of by nature?

    As far as "providing" goes, men have served that role for the vast majority of our species' history. Even today, they are still the primary bread winners in 70% of all households where two parents are actually present.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-02-14 at 11:28 PM.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    The link between "dominant" behaviors and personality types and testosterone is pretty well studied.

    In men, it is obvious.

    Testosterone, Antisocial Behavior, and Social
    Dominance in Boys: Pubertal Development and Biosocial Interaction


    However, it can be observed in women as well.

    Studies have actually shown that women with "dominant" personalities are more likely to have sons, specifically because they have so much more testosterone running through their systems than the average woman anyway.

    Sex determination and the maternal dominance hypothesis

    Simply put: More testosterone = more dominant personalities.

    Guess what men have more of by nature?

    As far as "providing" goes, men have served that role for the vast majority of our species' history. Even today, they are still the primary bread winners in 70% of all households where two parents are actually present.
    Testosterone and other hormones might make men more aggressive but not more dominant. Dominance would be strictly related to personality type. Look around! There are plenty of wimpy dudes around that are obviously not dominant over anything never mind another person.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Testosterone and other hormones might make men more aggressive but not more dominant. Dominance would be strictly related to personality type. Look around! There are plenty of wimpy dudes around that are obviously not dominant over anything never mind another person.
    You should read the articles. Heck! Just look at the titles of the articles.

    Testosterone is linked to "dominant personalities" as well as aggressive behavior (which frankly shouldn't be surprising as the one generally leads to the other in the first place) in both men and women alike.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    You should read the articles. Heck! Just look at the titles of the articles.

    Testosterone is linked to "dominant personalities" as well as aggressive behavior (which frankly shouldn't be surprising as the one generally leads to the other in the first place) in both men and women alike.
    I don't think that's necessarily true. Not all men have a dominant personality, and some women have very dominant personalities. Think of all the nerds you went to school with. Do you think they are the dominant ones in their relationships? Also, there are TONS of ways to dominate someone.

    I mean, if what you said was true, then everyone would be living a traditional lifestyle. As you can see and have noted yourself, that is becoming less and less popular, as it usually requires two people to work and most couples share household chores and childcare.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I don't think that's necessarily true. Not all men have a dominant personality, and some women have very dominant personalities. Think of all the nerds you went to school with. Do you think they are the dominant ones in their relationships?
    You'll have to take that up with the researchers. I can only link you to their findings.

    I also think a lot of "nerds" are probably more masculine than you're giving them credit for.

    Also, there are TONS of ways to dominate someone.
    True, and I have already admitted as much.

    As I said before, even a "submissive" woman can basically have a man at her mercy in a lot of ways if she plays her cards right.

    I mean, if what you said was true, then everyone would be living a traditional lifestyle. As you can see and have noted yourself, that is becoming less and less popular, as it usually requires two people to work and most couples share household chores and childcare.
    Most people are living a more or less "traditional" life style, and always have. That's kind of the point.

    Where they are not, women are not "taking control," by and large. They are simply splitting up and going it alone.

    While there certainly are some very dominant women out there married to submissive men, they are pretty far from being the norm.

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