View Poll Results: Men: Would you marry an American Woman?

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  • Yes

    72 70.59%
  • No

    23 22.55%
  • Does not apply to me.

    7 6.86%
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Thread: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

  1. #1171
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Well, no. Not really. I commited the cardinal sin of describing things how they actually are in an overly direct manner.

    Again, all politically correct assertions to the contrary aside, I have seen absolutely no evidence whatsoever to suggest that a relationship dynamic favoring a more interpersonally assertive male and a somewhat less interperssonally assertive female is not the norm under most circumstances.

    As S&M's example attests, even very aggressive women tend to prefer men who are at least equal in assertiveness to themselves, and often times even more so.

    The same simply cannot be said of most men.

    It is what it is, and I don't see any reason to quibble around "P.C." sensibilities on the issue.
    I've seen plenty of instances where the woman seems to be the more dominant one in the relationship. Haven't you? And, honestly, it really doesn't seem like it's just out in public, but the man seems to be rather on the mousy side, perhaps like a victim of an abusive spouse? I'm sure most of us have seen a relationship dynamic like that before, and I don't think they are all that uncommon if you listen to some men complain about their wives.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Well, no. Not really. I commited the cardinal sin of describing things how they actually are in an overly direct manner.

    Again, all politically correct assertions to the contrary aside, I have seen absolutely no evidence whatsoever to suggest that a relationship dynamic favoring a more interpersonally assertive male and a somewhat less interperssonally assertive female is not the norm under most circumstances.

    As S&M's example attests, even very aggressive women tend to prefer men who are at least equal in assertiveness to themselves, and often times even more so.

    The same simply cannot be said of most men.

    It is what it is, and I don't see any reason to quibble around "P.C." sensibilities on the issue.
    I have seen it quite often. It seems especially prominent in upper middle class couples from what I can tell and usually that woman spends a crapload of money too.

  3. #1173
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Only one way to find out.
    You'd better watch out for me! I'm much tougher than I look!

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    you two better quit before gipper wanders into this thread

  5. #1175
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I've seen plenty of instances where the woman seems to be the more dominant one in the relationship. Haven't you? And, honestly, it really doesn't seem like it's just out in public, but the man seems to be rather on the mousy side, perhaps like a victim of an abusive spouse? I'm sure most of us have seen a relationship dynamic like that before, and I don't think they are all that uncommon if you listen to some men complain about their wives.
    I've heard of such relationships, but I've honestly never seen one myself.

    However, what you've described is kind of exactly my point here. Under most circumstances, men simply aren't cut out for that kind of relationship dynamic. We want to be "alpha males;" if not in the world in general, then at least in our own homes.

    A man who allows his woman to push him around and basically take "alpha" status from him is A) going to resent it, and B) was likely rather weak willed and vulnerable to such things in the first place.

    As such, the relationship is, more often than not, going to be unhealthy.

    Some people might be able to make it work, but I doubt it is especially common.

  6. #1176
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Well, no. Not really. I commited the cardinal sin of describing things how they actually are in an overly direct manner.

    Again, all politically correct assertions to the contrary aside, I have seen absolutely no evidence whatsoever to suggest that a relationship dynamic favoring a more interpersonally assertive male and a somewhat less interperssonally assertive female is not the norm under most circumstances.

    As S&M's example attests, even very aggressive women tend to prefer men who are at least equal in assertiveness to themselves, and often times even more so.

    The same simply cannot be said of most men.

    It is what it is, and I don't see any reason to quibble around "P.C." sensibilities on the issue.
    Ahem. I'll speak for myself.

    I think you're confusing submissiveness with meekness. They are not the same.

    A lot of people are meek. In fact, more people are meek than are submissive. That's why a dominant person (which is different from controlling, again) has to work so hard.

    Submissive people are perfectly capable of raising their voice when they need to. It's just that they usually don't want to.

    Meek people are not. Their vocal chords are pretty flimsy.

    Now, personally, I am a very mixed-trait person. There's really nothing about me that's middle-of-the-road. So I prefer men who are dominant where I am submissive, and submissive where I am dominant (although in reality, I think it's more complex than that -- it's more about capability than high/low).

    I think this is true of nearly everyone. I have never met any dominant person -- male or female -- who is dominant in everything, and has the stamina to be dominant all the time without break. Never.

    I have, however, met controlling people who want to be controlling about everything, all the time. Because being controlling is a lot easier than being dominant. If you're just controlling, you don't care about how the people under your purview feel. It's about you and your sense of control. But for people who are dominant, it's about the goal and the well-being of everyone involved.

    Being controlling is easy. And there are plenty of controlling men out there, and yes, if you can't tell the difference between dominance and controllingness, it might appear to you that "dominant" men want women who are consistently more "submissive" than they are, and dominant women want equal or more dominant men, but really, that difference is created by men who are controllers who want women who are meek.

    People get different things out of relationships, and there are dominant people -- male and female both -- who prefer an over-all submissive partner. They tend to be dominant types of a more extroverted bent, so they have a bigger pool of people from whom they can draw balance. But I don't notice any gender break-down in this, and as an introverted person with a strong dominant streak, I require a partner who is... shall we say, "complimentary," if not necessarily "equal," because I have a smaller pool of balancing people.
    Last edited by SmokeAndMirrors; 03-02-14 at 05:06 PM.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    I've heard of such relationships, but I've honestly never seen one myself.

    However, what you've described is kind of exactly my point here. Under most circumstances, men simply aren't cut out for that kind of relationship dynamic. We want to be "alpha males;" if not in the world in general, then at least in our own homes.

    A man who allows his woman to push him around and basically take "alpha" status from him is A) going to resent it, and B) was likely rather weak willed and vulnerable to such things in the first place.

    As such, the relationship is, more often than not, going to be unhealthy.

    Some people might be able to make it work, but I doubt it is especially common.
    Don't you ever hear men complaining about how their wives are demanding and make them do chores all the time, or she won't let him do his favorite activities, blah, blah, blah, whatever the case may be?

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Lead them? Lead them where?
    A spin and a dip.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Muhammed View Post
    A spin and a dip.
    I don't know what that means. Maybe you could explain?

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I've seen plenty of instances where the woman seems to be the more dominant one in the relationship. Haven't you? And, honestly, it really doesn't seem like it's just out in public, but the man seems to be rather on the mousy side, perhaps like a victim of an abusive spouse? I'm sure most of us have seen a relationship dynamic like that before, and I don't think they are all that uncommon if you listen to some men complain about their wives.
    They are so common that we even have a special term for it. In man talk we call a guy in that kind of relationship "pussy whipped".
    Last edited by Muhammed; 03-02-14 at 05:12 PM.

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