View Poll Results: Men: Would you marry an American Woman?

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  • Yes

    72 70.59%
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  • Does not apply to me.

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Thread: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

  1. #1151
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Hell! Even S&M, for all of her extremist ranting, has complained about such "weak" men in other threads. In a thread we had not too long ago, as a matter of fact, she made a point of expressing nothing but distain for passive "nice guys," and stating how she basically needed her men to be a bit more forceful and "rough around the edges" in order for a relationship to in any sense work.

    No offense or anything, but methinks a lot of you ladies "doth protest too much."

    It seems to be a knee-jerk reaction to the words "dominant" and "submissive" more than anything else. As I've been trying to explain for the last several pages, however; most relationships are more nuanced than those two adjectives alone.

    The genders simply happen to exert influence over their parrtners in different ways.
    Damn right I do. Know why? Because if he can't speak up, I will STREAMROLL him. Opendebate is correct. I am a very dominating personality in some capacities. It's not that I try to tell people what to do, because I generally don't, and don't want to. It's just that it's busy in here, and when I'm on a mission, I am way too focused, and my engine is way too loud, to hear you if you don't SPEAK UP.

    Yeah, I need a guy who can go toe-to-toe with me, because when I'm wrong, you can't mutter. I won't hear you.

    The fact that I need someone who can speak loud enough for me to hear them from inside my very loud personality does not mean I am looking for a patriarch to "exert influence" over me.

    And just because I no longer have the patience for men who are too immature -- not "unmanly," immature, in a way that both sexes can be -- does not mean I'm looking for a patriarch either.

    And as to your later comment about dominant men not preferring someone who can speak at their volume if need be, they are not "dominant." They are controlling, and just as immature as the wimp. Real dominant people care about what others think, as I will explain in a moment.

    And finally, I have no problem with being dominant or submissive... in the way I like, when I choose, and when works for us. But I can be submissive when it suits me. I like it. It's a nice break. Because here's the thing, Thomas -- and this is why I laugh whenever guys tout this crap, because they clearly have no clue what it's really like -- being dominant is a tough gig. If you have a shred of decency, your mind can never stop going. Not only are many people very quiet and it takes effort to hear them, but in many cases they just don't even know where their limits are. You have to impose their limits, or they will simply go past them.

    I accept such a position and my use dominance only in situations where I know I am uniquely and especially competent, for that reason. I take leading quite seriously. It represents the greatest ethical burden of all possible positions. I enjoy it, and I'm good at it, but I don't take it lightly. I can be submissive in certain capacities where it suits me, or sometimes when it gives me a nice, meditative break.

    Like I told you, I am not an egalitarian personally. And in the context of relationships, no, that doesn't necessarily mean I must have the control, although in some aspects I usually do (and no, not in the kitchen). Honestly, I think my relationship style would make your jaw hit the floor.

    Because here's the thing. Reality, and people, are not as simple as you're trying to force them to be. And thank god for that, because from this side of the line, where my worldview is not threatened by having my concept of human potential continually altered and expanded, it's damn beautiful.
    Last edited by SmokeAndMirrors; 03-02-14 at 04:01 PM.

  2. #1152
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by SheWolf View Post
    The funny thing is they are complaining about American women, and the problem isn't the women... it's the overall American social structure. Why are they not leaving America then? They want to bring a foreign woman here, where they will have to deal with the very same issues they are complaining they have to deal with in case of divorce.

    This is so stupid to me.
    It's not about the social structure, although some of us are fighting to bring that back also. It's about the individuals. Those seeking traditional families with traditional gender roles have very limited options among the feminazi unisex females so common today. Why don't we leave, simple, why should we? America is the only place where many of the freedoms and Liberties we enjoy are available. Not to mention, that most women who look for American men want to escape the sexist third-world economic ****holes they come from.

    What issues are you taking about "in case of divorce"?

    Also, for some us, we were in the military, single and stationed in locations where there were very few single American women even available. The first time I was station on Okinawa, the ratio was something like 20 single males to every single American female. No biggie, I dated Okinawans, Japanese and Philippinos, eventually marrying an Okinawan.
    Only a fool measures equality by results and not opportunities.

  3. #1153
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    .................
    Generally speaking, it simply happens to be the case that they are the most common form of heterosexual relationship.
    Okay, I understand your point better now. I still think that it is inaccurate though and that "generalities" only make the conversation easier and don't accurately reflect what's actually most common in the world.

    The balance of power in one's relationship shouldn't be the kind of thing a couple has to really think about in the first place. It should just fall into place naturally if the individuals involved are compatible.
    That's not true. The balance is something that requires alot conscious effort and hard work. Relying on it to "fall naturally into place" means there is a lot of mind reading going on. Frankly, that never works. Communication works.

    Well, yea. That's frankly kind of the point though.
    Men with "dominant" personalities really aren't likely to say the same thing. All things considered, we might prefer a woman who is a bit more on the sweet, subdued, and relaxed side simply because her presence would have a tendency to "mellow" us out a bit.
    Most men aren't really looking to be "challenged" in their own homes. We actually tend to avoid it if at all possible.
    We're "challenged" enough by other men. We don't need it from our mates as well. Lol
    The problem here IMO, is that you see it as a challenge. A challenge to what exactly? Your dominance? In a partnership, where both are equal a disagreement with you does not mean your power is being challenged it means the women is requesting her needs be considered and if you are asked to grow up a little you behave like a man, accept that challenge to yourself and evolve because you love your partner and want to be your best for her. Not to mention, hopefully, choosing to accept a challenge if you feel like it makes you a better person for your own reasons.

    However, we were only aiming for generalities here in the first place.
    Generalizations are dangerous.
    Last edited by opendebate; 03-02-14 at 03:56 PM.
    "Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers" - Voltaire
    "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self" -Hemingway

  4. #1154
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    This thread would be so much better and truer if those who keeps going "men are like ..." and "women are like ..." would say "I am like ..." or perhaps "the group I am most comfortable is like ..."

    So far all the descriptions of men in this thread have yet to describe me or most of my friends (which is amusing because I have a very dominant and assertive personality and don't do well with assertive women in relationships, I start competing). As it is, there is way too much human diversity for the gross generalizations that form the basis of this discussion.

  5. #1155
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by DVSentinel View Post
    It's not about the social structure, although some of us are fighting to bring that back also. It's about the individuals. Those seeking traditional families with traditional gender roles have very limited options among the feminazi unisex females so common today. Why don't we leave, simple, why should we? America is the only place where many of the freedoms and Liberties we enjoy are available. Not to mention, that most women who look for American men want to escape the sexist third-world economic ****holes they come from.

    What issues are you taking about "in case of divorce"?

    Also, for some us, we were in the military, single and stationed in locations where there were very few single American women even available. The first time I was station on Okinawa, the ratio was something like 20 single males to every single American female. No biggie, I dated Okinawans, Japanese and Philippinos, eventually marrying an Okinawan.
    And? Do you find her to be more "submissive" than the American women you've dated?

  6. #1156
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Lead them? Lead them where?
    That's the term they use. Here's one person's opinion about what that means: Are You Strong Enough to Be My Man?

    "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule." --HL Mencken

  7. #1157
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by tacomancer View Post
    This thread would be so much better and truer if those who keeps going "men are like ..." and "women are like ..." would say "I am like ..." or perhaps "the group I am most comfortable is like ..."

    So far all the descriptions of men in this thread have yet to describe me or most of my friends (which is amusing because I have a very dominant and assertive personality and don't do well with assertive women in relationships, I start competing). As it is, there is way too much human diversity for the gross generalizations that form the basis of this discussion.
    Gathomas made the tragic, error of youth in telling a group of women what their role should/could be in a relationship with men. I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole.
    Einstein, "science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

  8. #1158
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by LowDown View Post
    That's the term they use. Here's one person's opinion about what that means: Are You Strong Enough to Be My Man?
    You know, this is really beautiful, but goes both ways. A lot of times the men get sick, and women have to be the "strong" ones. You don't have to be a man to be tough emotionally.

    Are you Strong enough to Love?

    I have a dear friend who is extremely healthy, and physically fit; he is a former pro baseball player. Fitness and physical beauty were tops on his list when it came to seeking his mate. When he met his future wife she was a passionate, intelligent and stunning fitness model. When they exchanged solemn vows; he had no idea that after nine years of marriage he would endure watching his beautiful wife lose her hair, her physique and eventually her life to cancer. As he loved her through her battle with cancer, he said; “her inner strength and faith made her even more beautiful in my eyes.” Author John Eldredge states; “A real man does not go to a woman to get his strength; he goes to her to offer it.” My friend offered his loving strength to his wife when she needed it the most. He loved and cherished her till death do us part. Are you strong enough to love her if her beauty or health fails? A wise man knows that after the wedding bells stop ringing the character tests begin.

  9. #1159
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    tacomancer's Avatar
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by grip View Post
    Gathomas made the tragic, error of youth in telling a group of women what their role should/could be in a relationship with men. I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole.
    LOL. The woman I am with is VERY submissive. To the point, early on in the relationship, I would constantly stop and ask if she was ok with things because she never spoke up and then questioned her response, because she never spoke up. It took me a little while to realize she simply trusts me and our dynamic is the way she prefers it and she is capable of speaking up if she wants, but prefers to remain submissive and quiet.

    Would I make gathomas' mistake to such a girl, even to the point that this is the sort of thing he is looking for and thinks women should be? HELL NO. Why would I potentially tell someone something that could easily be interpreted as a flaw and then spend a month having to explain what I really meant. That's the advantage of having a previous marriage, you learn about these pit falls. LOL
    Last edited by tacomancer; 03-02-14 at 04:06 PM.

  10. #1160
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by grip View Post
    Gathomas made the tragic, error of youth in telling a group of women what their role should/could be in a relationship with men. I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole.
    It's cute. When the day comes and he does get married, it's probably going to be MUCH different than he imagines.

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