View Poll Results: Men: Would you marry an American Woman?

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  • Yes

    72 70.59%
  • No

    23 22.55%
  • Does not apply to me.

    7 6.86%
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Thread: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

  1. #1141
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Exactly. This is really not a controversial claim here.

    I don't know why people are getting so defensive over it.

    It's common sense, and even a casual glance over the dynamics at play in the vast majority of heterosexual relationships will prove it to be true.
    I like dominant . . . sometimes. Other times, not so much. I'm quite sure there are some women who like to be the dominant one in the relationship though.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    A real man doesn't need to.

    Besides, it's not like most of you women don't enjoy a bit of good natured teasing every now and then anyway.
    You know, I LOVE a little teasing.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    The funny thing is they are complaining about American women, and the problem isn't the women... it's the overall American social structure. Why are they not leaving America then? They want to bring a foreign woman here, where they will have to deal with the very same issues they are complaining they have to deal with in case of divorce.

    This is so stupid to me.


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    I couldn't disagree more

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    I think part of the problem is that people are conflating assertiveness with domination

    Assertiveness is a sign of maturity. Mature people know who they are and what they want. They have reasonable expectations as to the likelihood of them getting those things as well as how to go about getting it which usually involves considering the impact their actions have on others

    Assertiveness, at it's most basic, is founded on the notion that we're equal. Since that includes ourselves, we all have (or should have) the right to make our wishes known and have those wishes be recognized and considered. Dominance, on the other hand, is based on ignoring the desires and best interests of others.
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    ............
    Maybe this is simply an expression of that whole "women have no clue what they actually want" problem that people are always complaining about,
    Young women are conflicted. Not because they are unwilling to accept the truth of what they desire but because they are young. They are battling alot of the same crap you are. Trying to sort out who they genuinely are and trying not to succumb to societal pressures that try to define them strictly by their gender.

    but the simple fact of the matter is that basically every observable reality of male / female relationships in our own society and virtually all others demonstrates the truth of the principles under discussion here. There isn't even really any reason to debate it.
    It is not the simple fact of the matter and there is a significant debate here because I have observed a very different world than that. Mine includes your version of male/female relationships but it is not limited to only that.

    Look, if that's the world of men and women you chose to see then fine. Maybe it suits you. If that's it, own it and if it makes you happy live it. But if it does not work for you there are options. You just have to chose to believe that.

    Hell! Even S&M, for all of her extremist ranting, has complained about such "weak" men in other threads. In a thread we had not too long ago she made a point of expressing nothing but distain for passive "nice guys," and stating how she basically needed her men to be a bit more forceful and "rougher" around the edges in order for a relationship to in any sense work.
    S&M is a very dominant personality. (at least her DP personality) It does not surprise me that she would prefer an equally aggressive partner. She does not speak for her gender and she would probably readily acknowledge that.

    No offense or anything, but methinks a lot of you ladies "doth protest too much."
    It seems to be a knee-jerk reaction to the words "dominant" and "submissive" more than anything else.
    You do the same thing every time when debating this topic. You refuse to consider the input of women about women. and when the women you debate with don't accept your outdated, inaccurate and deeply limited definitions of them you think they are just refusing to accept the truth. Maybe you need things to be this simple because it makes it easier to manage or understand but that limited view will fail you and again.

    As for the knee-jerk reaction. It's not knee-jerk at all. That would mean that it has not been examined and thought through Which is offensive in and of itself.
    Last edited by opendebate; 03-02-14 at 02:43 PM.
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I like dominant . . . sometimes. Other times, not so much.
    Sure. A man doesn't have to oversee everything in a relationship like a power mad dictator to be a "take charge" kind of guy. That'd just make him an OCD control freak.

    As I said before, it's generally a lot more fluid than that, and shouldn't require any real thought on the part of either partner.

    Men and women simply tend to naturally exert more control over certain aspects of a relationship than the opposite gender.

    I'm quite sure there are some women who like to be the dominant one in the relationship though.
    I have absolutely no doubt that it happens. I just think it is a lot more rare than the reverse.

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    You know, I LOVE a little teasing.
    :


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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by sangha View Post
    I think part of the problem is that people are conflating assertiveness with domination

    Assertiveness is a sign of maturity. Mature people know who they are and what they want. They have reasonable expectations as to the likelihood of them getting those things as well as how to go about getting it which usually involves considering the impact their actions have on others

    Assertiveness, at it's most basic, is founded on the notion that we're equal. Since that includes ourselves, we all have (or should have) the right to make our wishes known and have those wishes be recognized and considered. Dominance, on the other hand, is based on ignoring the desires and best interests of others.
    I like that word much better when it comes to a relationship in general.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by opendebate View Post
    It is not the simple fact of the matter and there is a significant debate here because I have observed a very different world than that. Mine includes your version of male/female relationships but it is not limited to only that.
    To be fair, I never said that male / female relationships were "limited" to just the model I have described.

    Generally speaking, it simply happens to be the case that they are the most common form of heterosexual relationship.

    The balance of power in one's relationship shouldn't be the kind of thing a couple has to really think about in the first place. It should just fall into place naturally if the individuals involved are compatible.

    S&M is a very dominant personality. (at least her DP personality) It does not surprise me that she would prefer an equally aggressive partner.
    Well, yea. That's frankly kind of the point though.

    Men with "dominant" personalities really aren't likely to say the same thing. All things considered, we might prefer a woman who is a bit more on the sweet, subdued, and relaxed side simply because her presence would have a tendency to "mellow" us out a bit.

    Most men aren't really looking to be "challenged" in their own homes. We actually tend to avoid it if at all possible.

    We're "challenged" enough by other men. We don't need it from our mates as well. Lol

    You do the same thing every time when debating this topic. You refuse to consider the input of women about women.
    Again, to be fair, most of the women who have commented in this thread (and around the board in general, for that matter) haven't said much of anything to refute my viewpoint here.

    You and Smoke might dislike it for ideological reasons, but I don't see any evidence that this is true of most women.

    Maybe you need things to be this simple because it makes it easier to manage or understand but that limited view will fail you and again.
    I freely admit that the issue leaves room for nuance.

    However, we were only aiming for generalities here in the first place.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    To be fair, I never said that male / female relationships were "limited" to just the model I have described.

    Generally speaking, it simply happens to be the case that they are the most common form of heterosexual relationship.

    The balance of power in one's relationship shouldn't be the kind of thing a couple has to really think about in the first place. It should just fall into place naturally if the individuals involved are compatible.



    Well, yea. That's frankly kind of the point though.

    Men with "dominant" personalities really aren't likely to say the same thing. All things considered, we might prefer a woman who is a bit more on the sweet, subdued, and relaxed side simply because her presence would have a tendency to "mellow" us out a bit.

    Most men aren't really looking to be "challenged" in their own homes. We actually tend to avoid it if at all possible.

    We're "challenged" enough by other men. We don't need it from our mates as well. Lol



    Again, to be fair, most of the women who have commented in this thread (and around the board in general, for that matter) haven't said much of anything to refute my viewpoint here.

    You and Smoke might dislike it for ideological reasons, but I don't see any evidence that this is true of most women.



    I freely admit that the issue leaves room for nuance.

    However, we were only aiming for generalities here in the first place.
    It's an interesting dynamic. Some women might enjoy being "dominated" in the bedroom but not in other aspects of their lives or the other way around too. People are complicated animals.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

    Quote Originally Posted by AGENT J View Post
    1.) whats an american woman? thats just stupid
    2.) even more stupid is if the only reason a person goes to college is to provide for a family

    just seems to me people are trying to blame their faults on others or judging the faults of others and applying that judgement to the group

    sorry i dont relate to this at all, maybe my family and the whole area i live in (Pittsburgh) and the places i often travel (DC area and Chicago) area aren't like this yet

    or maybe i just see PEOPLE as PEOPLE some agree some do not lol
    See my previous remarks about wannabe alpha males.

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