View Poll Results: Men: Would you marry an American Woman?

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  • Yes

    72 70.59%
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    23 22.55%
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Thread: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?[W:771]

  1. #1021
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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by German guy View Post
    That, and probably generalizations like that only lead so far, I guess. In the end, every male and female is an individual with different preferences.
    Yeah, "leading" us alright. Leading us right into being a maid and caretaker. Why do men think it makes them manly to NEED a mommy anyway?

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Yeah, "leading" us alright. Leading us right into being a maid and caretaker. Why do men think it makes them manly to NEED a mommy anyway?
    To be fair, I think many women do have an expectation that a man be confident enough to "take charge" of at least some aspects of a relationship, and they do often tend to prefer men who possess that quality over those who don't. This might not necessarily be true of all women, but I do think it is true of most (it's certainly more true of women than the reverse is true of men, in any case).

    However, it should also be noted that "taking the lead" doesn't necessarily imply that a man need be domineering either. It's perfectly possible to be "the man" in a relationship without going into full-on "Tigger" mode.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    To be fair, I think many women do have an expectation that a man be confident enough to "take charge" of at least some aspects of a relationship, and they do often tend to prefer men who possess that quality over those who don't. This might not necessarily be true of all women, but I do think it is true of most (it's certainly more true of women than the reverse is true of men, in any case).
    Such as?

    However, it should also be noted that "taking the lead" doesn't necessarily imply that a man need be domineering either. It's perfectly possible to be "the man" in a relationship without going into full-on "Tigger" mode.
    Well, what does "taking the lead" mean to you? Why does one or other have to lead? How about making decisions TOGETHER as a family unit instead of nominating yourself as the "leader?"

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Such as?

    Well, what does "taking the lead" mean to you? Why does one or other have to lead? How about making decisions TOGETHER as a family unit instead of nominating yourself as the "leader?"
    It just kind of happens in my experience. Do what you're going to do, and be confident about how you do it, and a lot of women will just kind of go along with you. They even seem to like it.

    Beyond that, bossy, domineering women who are liable to second guess or excessively interfere in what I'm trying to do tend to get on my nerves. While the occasional bit of constructive criticism is certainly called for, and I can handle even overtly bitchy women in small doses, much more than that is eventually going to lead me to push back, which tends to be less than productive all the way around.

    Frankly, given how often they complain about partners that they can "push around" , it wouldn't appear that most women appreciate the more submissive types of men any way. It is pretty damn rare to see a man complain about about the reverse situation.

    This isn't to say that both partners can't exert influence over the relationship. To the contrary, I'd argue that women hold more influence than most men realize. They simply exert it in more subtle ways under many circumstances.

    A "real man" shouldn't have to bully his woman to gain her respect, and a "real woman" shouldn't have to be a shrew to make her voice heard in a relationship.

    The man may be the "head" of the houshold under many circumstances, but the woman is the neck and the heart. The neck turns the head and the heart keeps things running.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-01-14 at 03:29 PM.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    It just kind of happens in my experience. Do what you're going to do, and be confident about how you do it, and a lot of women will just kind of go along with you. They even seem to like it.
    Like what? You'll have to be more specific. Also, I doubt if a lot of women would just go along with you. It's really not in our nature, regardless of how wimpy you think we are "supposed" to be. I have my OWN wants and desires. They may or may not fall in line with yours, but I certainly do not need to be "lead" anywhere. If I agree, it's because I agree, not because I want or need a leader to tell me how to think or feel or how to make decisions.

    Beyond that, bossy, domineering women who are liable to second guess or excessively interfere in what I'm trying to do tend to get on my nerves. While the occasional bit of constructive criticism is certainly called for, and I can handle even overtly bitchy women in small doses, much more than that is eventually going to lead me to push back, which simply leads to problems all the way around.
    Oh, I see. So if a woman takes the "lead" then she is bitchy, bossy and domineering. How very interesting.

    Frankly, given how often they complain about partners that they can "push around" , it wouldn't appear that most women appreciate the more submissive types of men any way. It is pretty damn rare to see a man complain about about the reverse situation.
    Nobody likes a complete wimp. Not men or women. You want a woman who does everything you say and has no mind or personality of her own? Who just agrees with you all the time? That is soooooo lame dude.

    This isn't to say that both partners can't exert influence over the relationship. To the contrary, I'd argue that women hold more influence than most men realize. They simply exert it in more subtle ways under many circumstances.
    At least you realize this much.

    A "real man" shouldn't have to bully his woman to gain her respect, and a "real woman" shouldn't have to be a shrew to make her voice heard in a relationship.
    I agree. There should be open and healthy communication in any relationship. Granted, we all have our "bitchy" moments though. Lol!

    The man may be the "head" of the houshold under many circumstances, but the woman is the neck and the heart. The neck turns the head and the heart keeps things running.
    Ha-ha! That is soooo goofy!

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Well isn't that the beauty of two people who share similar relationship expectations; being able to find each other, marry, and go about their marriage however they see fit?

    I'm sure a lot of people would question my marital construct and many, at the same time, approve. It makes for interesting conversation, but I'm not about to alter my life to please some people. It's not about them, yet I do like to talk about things.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I doubt if a lot of women would just go along with you.
    If they like what they see or agree with what I'm doing they certainly might.

    In any eventuality, it's hardly like I'm going to be forcing my way of doing things on any woman against her will here. Women ultimately hold far more power in "choosing" their partners than men do.

    That much is common knowledge.

    I have my OWN wants and desires. They may or may not fall in line with yours, but I certainly do not need to be "lead" anywhere. If I agree, it's because I agree, not because I want or need a leader to tell me how to think or feel or how to make decisions.
    I don't see where I ever denied that. As I said before, ultimately, a woman is not going to allow herself to be lead anywhere she does not wish to go in the first place.

    It's also not like most men are looking to "micromanage" a relationship either. We honestly don't really care enough to.

    Men and women have different interests in this regard more often than not.

    By and large, men tend to prefer to feel like we've got things "under control" (regardless of whether that is only what women allow us to think or not ). Women usually prefer to feel secure.

    This isn't universally the case, of course; but I would certainly say that it is true in the majority of cases.

    Oh, I see. So if a woman takes the "lead" then she is bitchy, bossy and domineering. How very interesting.
    As I'm sure you've noticed from talking with me on here, I have something of a "dominant" personality.

    While I am a fairly easy going guy all told (comes with being an introvert, I expect), I really don't take kindly to having people attempt to impose their will upon me. It tends to be something of an "unstoppable force vs immovable object" situation.

    This is true regardless of a person's gender, though it tends to be an especially unattractive trait in a potential romantic partner.

    You want a woman who does everything you say and has no mind or personality of her own? Who just agrees with you all the time?
    Not at all. I'm perfectly open to disagreement and differing opinions when it comes to deciding where a relationship is headed.

    I simply prefer to be the one in the driver's seat when it comes to actually getting there. If a woman and I can't agree on the direction, we don't have to ride together.

    Also, keep in mind that this only really applies to things that I give a damn about in the first place. All told, that isn't a particularly long list, and they might not even be the same things a woman who would agree to head in my direction on them would be particularly interested in anyway.

    My mother, for instance; never really cared about not having a career while she was raising us, whereas my father tends to be a workaholic.

    I agree. There should be open and healthy communication in any relationship. Granted, we all have our "bitchy" moments though. Lol!
    Absolutely.

    Ha-ha! That is soooo goofy!
    But true.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-01-14 at 04:37 PM.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    To be fair, I think many women do have an expectation that a man be confident enough to "take charge" of at least some aspects of a relationship, and they do often tend to prefer men who possess that quality over those who don't. This might not necessarily be true of all women, but I do think it is true of most (it's certainly more true of women than the reverse is true of men, in any case).

    However, it should also be noted that "taking the lead" doesn't necessarily imply that a man need be domineering either. It's perfectly possible to be "the man" in a relationship without going into full-on "Tigger" mode.
    Exactly. I suppose there are exceptions, and of course there are medical and other reasons that the woman would need to become the breadwinner and the man a house husband--in a for better or worse world, we all adapt to whatever life throws at us. But I just haven't observed any happy marriages where the woman assumed the dominant role and/or was the bread winner and the guy wasn't cut out for that. It is just difficult for a woman to respect a man like that while no such expectation is placed on the woman. And I think that is because we men and women are just wired differently.

    But dominant does not mean over bearing or bully or abusive. That is something else altogether. It is just that the man instinctively is wired to be the protector and provider -- hunter/gatherer, and the woman is just wired to appreciate that. At the same time, in a good marriage, they see themselves as one, a partnership, equals, and wouldn't have it any other way.
    "I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it." --Benjamin Franklin 1776

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    If they like what they see or agree with what I'm doing they certainly might.

    In any eventuality, it's hardly like I'm going to be forcing my way of doing things on any woman against her will here. Women ultimately hold far more power in "choosing" their partners than men do.

    That much is common knowledge.
    If you want to have a discussion with me, then please do not shorten my quotes. You failed to answer a number of points I made in my first paragraph. When you do that, then we can continue with our discussion.

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    Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    If you want to have a discussion with me, then please do not shorten my quotes. You failed to answer a number of points I made in my first paragraph. When you do that, then we can continue with our discussion.
    To which points in particular do you refer?

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