View Poll Results: Can a man be criminally/legally charged with raping his wife?

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  • Yes. Absolutely.

    60 68.18%
  • No. Definitely not.

    5 5.68%
  • Case-by-case basis. Not that black & white.

    21 23.86%
  • Other- please explain

    2 2.27%
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Thread: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

  1. #231
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Graffias View Post
    If it gets to that point, then she needs to get a divorce. I mean these two people have probably had sex who knows how many times, and suddenly the cops need to get called in because he wouldn't stop when she told him she has a headache? Don't drag law enforcement into a situation that should be a private matter between a husband and wife.
    Law enforcement shouldn't intervene in the event of rape?

  2. #232
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Graffias View Post
    If it gets to that point, then she needs to get a divorce. I mean these two people have probably had sex who knows how many times, and suddenly the cops need to get called in because he wouldn't stop when she told him she has a headache? Don't drag law enforcement into a situation that should be a private matter between a husband and wife.
    I completely agree they should divorce if there is no intimacy, the refusing spouse won't compromise, and he (reasonably) desires to be intimate with his partner. I am not saying he has to live with it if his spouse refuses to be intimate with him. I'm saying it doesn't give him license to rape her.

  3. #233
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Graffias View Post
    If it gets to that point, then she needs to get a divorce. I mean these two people have probably had sex who knows how many times, and suddenly the cops need to get called in because he wouldn't stop when she told him she has a headache? Don't drag law enforcement into a situation that should be a private matter between a husband and wife.
    How often you've had sex doesn't matter. Just like: how often you walk into the gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes does not make it okay to walk in one time and steal a pack. 100 rights don't permit 1 wrong.

    Where *do* you draw the line?

    1) There's: Not being in the mood but going 'okay, I guess' and being willing-reluctant.

    2) There's: When you're pinned down and forced into it spite what you say or what you want?

    3) There are other mean of coercion and there's guilt.

    4) It could become violent (if you don't consider the act of forcing yourself into someone to be violent). Smacking - punching - or hitting with objects - or threatening to hurt the children or pets if she doesn't give in, etc.

    You know - when does it become acceptable for someone to seek outside help? What are the guidelines, here, since you think everything private and neither person has the right to seek out help.

    What is it about the act of marriage that removes you from the basic concept of seeking outside help? Divorce is a final end to an established lifestyle and it has wide reaching effects. In order to divorce you have to be able to support yourself.

    On the other hand: law enforcement is a quick end or response to an immediate situation. Further: going to LEO can substantiate things and help you put that distance needed between you and the person your with in order to get separation and a divorce. Example: LEO's can take you to a safe house where your partner will not be able to contact you and through that you can start a new life.

    If a married person is willing to rape their partner then "please leave me alone, we're getting a divorce" probably isn't going to end the situation. I don't know where your head is - but your view is not grounded in reality.

    Domestic violence isn't a private issue. - That belief is exactly how so many people are trapped in a situation where it keeps happening, and it keeps happening, and it happens again and again - because they believe it's a private matter and they shouldn't tell others or seek REAL help.
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  4. #234
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by SmokeAndMirrors View Post
    I completely agree they should divorce if there is no intimacy, the refusing spouse won't compromise, and he (reasonably) desires to be intimate with his partner. I am not saying he has to live with it if his spouse refuses to be intimate with him. I'm saying it doesn't give him license to rape her.
    Granted, however, the rape charge is useless at that point. Better to go with assailt charges, there no debate in anyone's mind then.

  5. #235
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by clownboy View Post
    Once again there is a legal obligation to have sex with your spouse. The license can be withdrawn if you don't and you would be at fault. It's part of deal, don't like it, don't get married. Now, does this mean you can't rape your spouse? That's still a debatable legal point and in effect the law is all over the map and unevenly applied because it's a rock and/or hard place question.

    However, assault is clearly illegal and carries the same potential for penalty without the rape question even being necessary.
    Sex is NOT a legal obligation in a marriage. That is absolutely ridiculous. Showing your divorce grounds does not prove an obligation. Sorry.
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  6. #236
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by joko104 View Post
    The only people I know who have a signed marriage contract is my wife and I. It is long and sex is one of the topics. There are people who sign pre-marriage contracts called "pre-nuptial agreements" generally only concerning economic matters.

    We did our own marriage vows, which were unusual. Mine was all but exclusively about sex and her's much longer on the topic. Some jaws probably fell at the church. However, I could be argued that the stated contract of "to have and to hold" for as long as we both shall live" or "forevermore" could constitute consent. With saying "no" then break that marriage contract?
    To have and to hold is a metaphore for togetherness and love. Not about sex. Your spouse also has the right to not help you if you are sick. The idea that sex is an obligation in average marriage contracts is silly...
    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    I have pooped in public, even in public neighborhoods.
    Quote Originally Posted by Absentglare View Post
    You can successfully wipe your ass with toilet paper, that doesn't mean that you should.

  7. #237
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by reinoe View Post
    If it's written in the contract then there it is. Are you going to go around and witness every marriage and listen to the vows? Are you going to scrutinize every pre-nup? Are you going to eavesdrop on every conversation? If a man or woman promises to rape their spouse then it's in the contract.
    Something illegal in a contract is illegal. You are seriously confused.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    I have pooped in public, even in public neighborhoods.
    Quote Originally Posted by Absentglare View Post
    You can successfully wipe your ass with toilet paper, that doesn't mean that you should.

  8. #238
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Graffias View Post
    If it gets to that point, then she needs to get a divorce. I mean these two people have probably had sex who knows how many times, and suddenly the cops need to get called in because he wouldn't stop when she told him she has a headache? Don't drag law enforcement into a situation that should be a private matter between a husband and wife.
    He is just as free to leave/divorce her if he isn't satisfied with how much sex he is getting. If he can't take no for an answer that often, then leave. You don't rape her/keep going for it after she says no (or the other way around either if it is the guy saying no and the wife continuing). If he does, the cops should be called in.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

  9. #239
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by clownboy View Post
    Granted, however, the rape charge is useless at that point. Better to go with assailt charges, there no debate in anyone's mind then.
    If there is little evidence of a rape, then there would be little evidence of an assault as well. Either charge would still be one word against another. What evidence would there be for assault rather than rape? Unless the sex was rough, there wouldn't likely be any marks. Not all rapes leave marks or physical evidence either.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

  10. #240
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    Re: Spousal Rape - Crime of Rape, or Not ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Graffias View Post
    If it gets to that point, then she needs to get a divorce. I mean these two people have probably had sex who knows how many times, and suddenly the cops need to get called in because he wouldn't stop when she told him she has a headache? Don't drag law enforcement into a situation that should be a private matter between a husband and wife.
    Bullsh*t. A coward who attacks someone weaker than him needs to be dealt with, now and with great, uh, firmness. In places where law enforcement it lacking, guys like that are lynched by the woman's family.
    "I did not mean that Conservatives are generally stupid people. I meant that stupid people are generally Conservatives."
    -John Stuart Mill-

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