It is time to get with the program and realize that nothing in this world happens that doesn't involve shadowy groups of people conspiring against you. It is high time for you to realize that your life sucks, you are a worthless good for nothing in every sense of the word, and it is all on account of the Jews, and the new world order and the free masons and the neo cons and the socialists and the girl scouts. They are making your life a living Hell and if it weren't for all their conspiracies against you, who knows. You might even amount to something.
It's just not fair!