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Thread: Parenting and the Internet

  1. #91
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by Cephus View Post
    Those are the extremes and I know people who fit into both extremes. My cousins are in their 40s, still live at home, have no life, have never had a serious relationship and are unable to function socially because their parents spent their entire lives telling them how perfect they are and that they cannot ever fail. They were made to feel so utterly superior to everyone else that when it came time to compete in and deal with the real world, they were totally unable to do it and completely incapable of making the adjustments necessary to deal with being an adult. As such, they're both going to spend their lives, living at home, holding down barely passable jobs, thinking they're so much better than that. There's no end to parents in the media who go completely the opposite way.
    I don't see how that's evidence of either - is that hover parenting or absentee parenting? I don't see what you're trying to say, here, that you shouldn't tell your kids they're great? Or they should have been bullied but they weren't? I don't follow. It seems like a stray, nothing issue you have that doesn't related to this thread at all.

    It's the parents in the middle that don't have the problems though. They raise their children to be able to handle problems, or come to someone when they have issues they can't deal with. They don't raise doormats. Their kids don't go leaping off bridges because someone made them feel bad on Facebook. My kids think Facebook and other social media is a complete waste of time anyhow, they're too busy spending time online with their actual friends to be worried about the idiocy out there on social media sites.
    Parents in the middle have problems all the time - all parents have problems because all parents have kids. Even when you're in the middle.
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  2. #92
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Parents in the middle have problems all the time - all parents have problems because all parents have kids. Even when you're in the middle.
    There is such a thing as responsible parenting. Some people do it. Many do not.
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  3. #93
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by Cephus View Post
    There is such a thing as responsible parenting. Some people do it. Many do not.
    Yes - but that's not saying 'they don't have problems.'

    These labels that we're using (hover, middle, extreme, absent) refer to how the parent responds to issues that occur/or that might occur. It's not saying that they actually have more or less issues that do occur.
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Yes - but that's not saying 'they don't have problems.'

    These labels that we're using (hover, middle, extreme, absent) refer to how the parent responds to issues that occur/or that might occur. It's not saying that they actually have more or less issues that do occur.
    It means that there are some methods of raising children that demonstrably work better than others and produce better results at the end. Paying no attention whatsoever to your children does not produce good results. Smothering your children with attention and undeserved praise does not produce good results. Somewhere in the middle does. That doesn't mean it's effortless, just a better approach.
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  5. #95
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard Truth View Post
    ,
    Not many parents have the luxury of being able to monitor their kids 24/7. If they did the kid would probably go elsewhere to use a computer without being controlled, if he/she was healthy.
    No one is saying anything about monitoring children 24/7. This is a discussion about home internet access for children. The school argument has been brought up, but that is not home.

  6. #96
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard Truth View Post
    I think some extreme situations (and daily bullying may qualify) require parental involvement, but most situations can be worked out by the kids themselves, and they will have a learning experience.
    I agree, and different children will react differently to daily bullying. Some will strengthen from it, but some will wither from it. Regardless, the home is not a place for children to be "plugged in" constantly. There is plenty of time for that when the child leaves the home.

  7. #97
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfie View Post
    The internet is the new way to speak to your friends/enemies..
    And we can't change that....no amount of inhibition as far as computer liaisons will make any difference...
    I don't dispute that, except that it should stop at home. You're applying adult standards to a child, it doesn't work.

  8. #98
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by SBu View Post
    I don't dispute that, except that it should stop at home. You're applying adult standards to a child, it doesn't work.
    He doesn't realize it, but he's making an argument that it's a right to have the internet (since it comes with this 'right to privacy') - and so what about people who don't have the net/computers at all? They're stunting their children's growth

    It's not cheap - and there might be a time in my near future where we have to cut back expenses, and the internet access from home will go. . .oh well.

    I don't see it's a necessity until you're older and seeking out employment/education. Up until then, it's entertainment save for when you're doing research - you know - stuff you can do from a library.
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by MarineTpartier View Post
    Or they'll just punch you in the face...
    It's very rare for a verbal bully to punch you in the face, especially on the internet where punching someone in the face usually leads to needing a new laptop.
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    Re: Parenting and the Internet

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    He doesn't realize it, but he's making an argument that it's a right to have the internet (since it comes with this 'right to privacy') - and so what about people who don't have the net/computers at all? They're stunting their children's growth

    It's not cheap - and there might be a time in my near future where we have to cut back expenses, and the internet access from home will go. . .oh well.

    I don't see it's a necessity until you're older and seeking out employment/education. Up until then, it's entertainment save for when you're doing research - you know - stuff you can do from a library.
    In these times, failure to provide a child over age nine or so with computer access is stunting their growth. They will be competing with kids in school, and later with adults at work, who have years of experience with computers and years of access to information. Even the best libraries contain a fraction of the information available on the internet, esp. current information and topics that interest young people.

    Teaching a young person how to learn on their own, how to tell the difference between good and bad information, and inspiring them to be curious about a variety of subjects is the most important educational task of teachers and parents these days. The ability to memorize (mostly] useless facts or perform obscure mental tasks was always over-rated and that is more true now than ever before. We need people who can gather information and think well enough to understand and apply it. There is no better tool for learning these skills than a computer, when it used properly. Recent research has brought out how much play is an essential part of learning, so it is important that young people have unstructured opportunities to use computers in addition to more supervised use.
    Last edited by Hard Truth; 09-14-13 at 04:38 PM.

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