View Poll Results: What is the reason that we see less and less Traditional Family Structure?

Voters
44. You may not vote on this poll
  • Affirmative Action Opened All the Right Doors...

    6 13.64%
  • Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

    4 9.09%
  • It is extremely complex issue...

    34 77.27%
Page 5 of 22 FirstFirst ... 3456715 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 218

Thread: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

  1. #41
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Tiamat's better half
    Last Seen
    10-28-11 @ 01:41 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    15,998

    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by rathi View Post
    That is a completely unsupported statement. Many women would express extreme anger towards such a condescending viewpoint.
    Right so the trends showing that more and more college educated women are opting to stay home are false? Or are you saying these women are being forced back into their homes against their will???



    And Jews tended to live in Ghettos because they prefered them?
    Huh??? On so many levels, huh???



    Your assumption is that they stay at home because they want to. The assumption is flawed, because many women are forced to choose between the two.
    Yes all women staying home to raise their kids are doing so because they choose to! Certainly noone is forcing them! Perhaps some of the women working are forced to work out of financial necessity but no women are being forced to stay home.

    Stay at home dads are quite rare, and very often a woman must pick one or the other. They may choose to stay at home, but that doesn't that don't also want careers. It just means that they are more willing to make sacrifices.
    It still makes it a choice.

  2. #42
    Count Smackula
    rathi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    California
    Last Seen
    10-31-15 @ 10:29 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    7,890

    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Right so the trends showing that more and more college educated women are opting to stay home are false? Or are you saying these women are being forced back into their homes against their will???
    No, they are being forced back into their homes because they do value children more than their careers.

    Yes all women staying home to raise their kids are doing so because they choose to! Certainly noone is forcing them! Perhaps some of the women working are forced to work out of financial necessity but no women are being forced to stay home.
    Unless their is a stay at home dad, the woman has no choice but to stay at home. Many women would like both, but are forced to choose between one and the other.

    It still makes it a choice.
    Its a bad choice that women shouldn't always have to make. Determining who should work and who should stay at home should be based on who can get the better job, not gender.

    An alternative proposal that I like even more if having both parents take part time jobs.

  3. #43
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Last Seen
    09-30-08 @ 09:41 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    1,619

    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    “That is a completely unsupported statement. Many women would express extreme anger towards such a condescending viewpoint.”

    Well I think it’s the truth, more than the feminists would like to admit. I had two degrees and could have done any number of things but chose to stay at home once I had my children. I wanted the best for my children so I put on hold my career ambitions. I had the choice.

    I am so glad I did because I was able to be a part of every aspect of my childrens lives. I was blessed to have been there when they were sick, parties at school, field trips, most of their FIRSTS…. I never missed the career because I had it all at home. Are my kids perfect? No. Do they have problems? Sure they do. But they are pretty good human beings, we am so proud of them. Not bragging, but I think what my husband and I did contributed to their successes. Isn't that what parents should do for their children? They are a part of us, we are a part of them. And hopefully should they decide to take on the big responsibility of having children they will do the same.

    I’ll say it. Some people should not have children. I am talking about those (both parents) who work the long hours and are never home and because of that they children suffer for it. Children don’t need day care centers……..THEY NEED PARENTS. You don’t have a child only to turn them over to some institution to raise. If your going to be an absentee parent then don’t have children and expect someone else to be giving them what you should be giving them yourself. At least examine the motives behind having children.

    Our kids don't live with us now they have their own places. My husband and I have considered getting another dog. But we travel a lot and our plates are still pretty full. Would it be fair to any animal to be left alone day after day? Taking it to board at the vets all the time so we still can travel.......I don't mean to compare kids with pets,,,,,,,but there are some similarities.
    Both need food, warmth, a comfy bed, love and attention, not by some vet assistance.....or day care worker......but by their master or their parents.



    I'll get hammered for that statement but it won't be the first time.

  4. #44
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Last Seen
    10-26-10 @ 06:34 PM
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    24,978

    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Are my kids perfect? No. Do they have problems? Sure they do. But they are pretty good human beings, we am so proud of them.
    I'll just bet we am.

  5. #45
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Last Seen
    10-26-10 @ 06:34 PM
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    24,978

    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by rathi View Post
    No, they are being forced back into their homes because they do value children more than their careers.



    Unless their is a stay at home dad, the woman has no choice but to stay at home. Many women would like both, but are forced to choose between one and the other.



    Its a bad choice that women shouldn't always have to make. Determining who should work and who should stay at home should be based on who can get the better job, not gender.

    An alternative proposal that I like even more if having both parents take part time jobs.


    Kids are in school all day from toddlerhood. The last thing they need is some stay-at-home parent hanging over them constantly like a big dead goose, making their lives miserable.
    I'm a proud working parent, and I think working parents set a positive example for their kids.
    What sort of example are you setting, really, if you're showing your kids that adults don't really have to work if they don't want to?

    I've got no problem with SAHMs; everybody's free to do whatever they feel like, as long as it's logistically feasible.
    But when they start judging me, there's a problem.
    I love to work, which is fortunate, because I have to work, as do most parents.
    My kids have learned by example that there's no reason for adults not to work, unless they are invalids and can't work. Being a parent is no reason not to work; in fact, it's a reason to work even harder.
    People need external structure to their lives in order to be happy and productive. Work provides that like nothing else I know of.
    I would not wish the life of a stay-at-home parent on anyone, although if some stay-at-home parents are happy with their situations, then I'm happy for them.
    I only hope that if, at some point in their lives, they wish to re-enter the job market, that'll still be an option.
    Otherwise, not working isn't really a "choice" at all, but an imperative; which would suck tremendously.

  6. #46
    Just Crazy Enough to Work
    Edify_Always_In_All_Ways's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Wilmington, DE
    Last Seen
    01-31-14 @ 03:03 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    1,299

    idea Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by BodiSatva View Post
    The New York Times, which based its report on an analysis of census results, said 51 percent of women in 2005 reported living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.

    "Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits," the newspaper said.

    It said that several factors are behind the shift including women marrying at a later age and living with partners for more often and for longer periods. Women are also living longer as widows and once divorced, often opt to stay single, the report said.


    Majority of US women living without spouse - Yahoo! News

    What is this invisible factor that is leading us down a path of single people, single mothers (voluntary ones at least), dead-beat fathers, etc.? What is it? Why are we seeing less married people and broken or disjointed families more and more?

    Yes, this is an extension of the last thread, so for all of you that can't fathom reality to save your life, this should be fun.
    One big 'invisible factor' would probably be skewed data. Many teenage girls as young as 15 were included in the survey, and woman with spouses overseas in the military were counted as "single".

    The increase in divorce? Likely, it is that divorce has become more accessable over time. Even in the good old, Ward-at-work, June-at-home, moral days of marrige, the 50s, many seemingly happy wives were trapped in bad marriages, but couldn't get out because of the huge divorce taboo. Back then, you had to have a man in the house to support yourself, and women rushed into relationships that turned out badly, as there was no living with a partner to help you get accustomed to marriage.

    What, exactly, is it that people think is so much better about marriage than living with a partner? For many people, marriage is simply an empty certificate and an excuse to live in an approved manner with their partner. When they find out that their partner wasn't their soul mate, they divorce, because they can. If there are kids involved... having a father and mother living apart, and a second set of 'adopted' parents who love them as well, seems like a decent family atmosphere to me.

    The world changes. Conservatives try to slow it down. Liberals, the hated selfish child-scarring lunatics attacked on this board, choose to adapt. As soon as people learn to live with divorce and partnerhood, I predict that these institutions will be happily accepted- there is nothing wrong with them except for that they are new.

    The upcoming boomer aging and need for energy will require more people worldwide to get jobs. Hopefully, this will trigger an even larger acceptance of working parents, and day-cares in general. I was in daycare since the age of two, and I don't consider myself too messed up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Korimyr the Rat
    Heh. Do you realize how many children I'd murder to be immortal and have an army of willing slaves?

  7. #47
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Tiamat's better half
    Last Seen
    10-28-11 @ 01:41 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    15,998

    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by 1069 View Post
    Kids are in school all day from toddlerhood. The last thing they need is some stay-at-home parent hanging over them constantly like a big dead goose, making their lives miserable.
    What sort of example are you setting, really, if you're showing your kids that adults don't really have to work if they don't want to?
    I'm showing them my priorities.

  8. #48
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Last Seen
    09-30-08 @ 09:41 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    1,619

    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    “I'll just bet we am.”
    What a smart *** you really are. Aways in character......


    “I'm a proud working parent, and I think working parents set a positive example for their kids.”


    Well of course you do you work. I think many parents who work and CANTboth stay at home do the best they can. Sometimes they have no choice.......BUT then sometimes they can and they dont because being around the kids all day long and doing what they think are meaningless jobs they would rather pay someone else to do it. That is the glamorous thing to do.

    Its all about choice and like Talloulou said what you feel are the top priorities in your life. I am really addressing those parents who can make a choice who make enough so that one can stay at home. I am not talking about those that have no alternative they both have to work.

    I also know there are wonderful day care centers that offer kids a lot. I also had a friend who ran a day care center from her home. She even admitted that she felt bad for the kids whose parents just dumped them off to not only work but shop, go to the gym etc....the kids get there when its dark outside and get picked up when its dark outside.

    I have friends who are both doctors and they are never home. They rake in the big bucks, but they are never home, and I mean never. They live in a huge 6,000 sq ft home, drive fancy cars and are NEVER HOME. Their son was on my sons hockey team. Did they ever come see him play? Not very often. Why do people like this have children?

    Whats their top priority? IMO it certainly is not the kids.



    “What sort of example are you setting, really, if you're showing your kids that adults don't really have to work if they don't want to?”

    Did you read anything I wrote? Of course not, your always in that pit bull attack mode. I did not have to work if I didn’t want to. My husband made enough that I was not forced to work. However I still had a promising career that I could have persued at the time.

    You imply that kids who have one parent at home don’t set good examples that they are not good role models, am I right? But of course I dissagree I think they can be good role models. The parent at home is essentially saying look, I could work but I choose not to because I think being at home, nurturing and teaching kids are more important. I’m giving up more money, more time spent away from home…….to devote to kids.
    My husband worked extra hard and worked longer hours to afford me the opportunity to stay at home. They saw how hard he worked to provide us with everything. They saw what we valued first.


    I did not mean to imply that all kids do poorly at day care centers, they don’t. But I do not care what you say, if one parent can afford to stay at home IMO its better for the children. And for some parents who have careers that require them to be away for the majority of the time and who both are at work more than they are at home should postpone having children until they can devote time to the little ones that they created.

    If anyone is judging its you. To say that unless you’re an invalid, you should work.


    “Being a parent is no reason not to work; in fact, it's a reason to work even harder.”

    My husband did work very hard and I did too to provide a home for everyone.

    You trivialize that.

    And ya know its hard work to stay at home on a daily basis. You make it seem like its spa time. You make it seem that the one at home is stuck there in some prison. You bet its hard. We dont eat out for lunch everyday, we make lunch every day. Oh those spaghetti o's and meatballs.

    “People need external structure to their lives in order to be happy and productive. Work provides that like nothing else I know of.”

    I had external structure 1069. I taught Sunday School and was the children’s choir director at our church.
    I volunteered at school working with kids who needed extra help. I headed a group that raised funds for underprivileged kids who needed dentistry and who had special medical needs and I did part time interior design work from my home.

    MY KIDS MADE ME HAPPY........LIKE NO JOB COULD EVER HAVE DONE.

    “I would not wish the life of a stay-at-home parent on anyone, although if some stay-at-home parents are happy with their situations, then I'm happy for them.”

    That’s really sad but I am not at all surprised that you of all people would feel that way.

  9. #49
    Professor

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Last Seen
    04-15-10 @ 04:39 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    1,303

    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    1069 is trying to justify her guilt IMO. Not guilt at being a bad mom, I am sure that she is a good mom, the guilt is for not wanting to spend as much time with her kids (waking and functional hours) as with she does with work.

    This whole thread is about WHAT IS BEST FOR THE FAMILY AND THE KIDS. You railed everybody in the last one for questioning why parents choose to do other things than be with their kids. Nobody is going off on you for choosing to work instead of stay home and interact with your kids. Why are you going off on moms that choose to make their kids their priority?

  10. #50
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Last Seen
    09-30-08 @ 09:41 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    1,619

    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    "1069 is trying to justify her guilt IMO. Not guilt at being a bad mom, I am sure that she is a good mom, the guilt is for not wanting to spend as much time with her kids (waking and functional hours) as with she does with work."

    I think you hit the nail on the head. Some people jsut do not enjoy being around children. And thats fine if they don't have them. I don't think people should have children that know they can't be around. That is not what is best for kids.

    "This whole thread is about WHAT IS BEST FOR THE FAMILY AND THE KIDS. You railed everybody in the last one for questioning why parents choose to do other things than be with their kids. Nobody is going off on you for choosing to work instead of stay home and interact with your kids. Why are you going off on moms that choose to make their kids their priority?"

    Because that is the way she operates. She never finds fault with her own actions only others.

    Bottom line we all want to feel tht what we are doing is right. I justified the abortion I had for years. I made excuses and basically was on the defensive. But sooner or later the truth hit me square in the face and I had to own up. What I did I thought was in the best interest for me. Obviously it was not.
    I think many parents should own up to the fact that they just arent there for their kids and why.

    IMO no child derserves to be dropped off at day care 5-6 days a week, 8-10 hours a day. I dont care how sweet the day care workers are and how fancy the day care center is. I dont care if Johnny is learning Shakespeare as a preschooler..........kids need to be with their parents the majority of the time.

    I am not saying that kids who are shipped out like this dont turn out to be moral and upstanding citizens, I just think they miss out on a lot.

    Some people say oh its not the amount of time spent with children its the quality time you spend with them........hogwash.

Page 5 of 22 FirstFirst ... 3456715 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •