I do. That sucks...I can empathize.
And although I've had nearly a decade and a half to absorb and assimilate the "lesson", I cannot for the life of me tell you what it was supposed to have taught me. That is part of life...we don't always know nor do we think that there is always a lesson
Has it made me a better parent to my now-fully-recovered child? Probably
Not really. I bet it did
It made me overprotective and overbearing to the point that he had no choice but to rebel, no choice but to become deceitful and sneaky, since I allowed him no breathing room. That was HIS choice... we all learn our own lessons in life.
The lesson I am now learning- being forced to learn- is how to let go. We all are learning that one
All parents have to learn it eventually; parents of a child who was once critically ill no doubt have a harder time with it than most. Yep
I look at my six-foot-tall son, a boy in a man's body, and I see a critically ill infant who will die without my constant, 24-hour vigilance, and might die even with it.
This infuriates him. He doesn't remember being that baby, of course, and he doesn't want to be constantly associated with it. He doesn't remember ever being anything but tough and strong and healthy, and he doesn't want any reminders that he was ever fragile and desperately ill. He doesn't want or need my constant vigilance, my protection. He wants to be acknowledged and respected as the independent near-adult that he is. His previous health problems make this difficult for me.
But there's nothing I learned from this experience that would necessarily be applicable or useful to another parent of a critically ill child. You just are not applying yourself...of course there are things that applicable and useful to another parent of a critically ill child
There's no secret knowledge that only you and I- as parents of critically ill children- are privy to. Sure there is...
We have little in common, I bet we have more in common than you would care to admit...
and we don't seem to agree on much. I agree with you on more than you would like to hear, you just don't see it since I remain quite. All I see is you attack me. Touche'
Going through similar experiences apparently left us with entirely different viewpoints. Perhaps
It's that way with everything; everything in life. Yep
My experiences are not applicable to anyone but me, and neither are anyone else's. And two people can go through the exact same experience, and learn two totally different lessons from it. Yep, but they also learn overlapping themes
I, for instance, have never considered parenting either a "job" or a "profession", and I already stated that on another thread. It's life. It's not "a profession" (which would indicate that you could stop doing it at some point). Neither do I. That was just a bad metaphore
It's no more a profession than being female or having brown hair is a "profession". It's who and what I am. It's not a job- it's my life. Being a parent is not a job, either. It's who and what I am.
I understand how it may seem like a "job" to new parents, to parents whose children are still infants... but that's because they do not yet realize how long forever is.
I don't think, in a decade or two, they will still think of parenting the same way (although i could be wrong).