View Poll Results: What is the reason that we see less and less Traditional Family Structure?

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  • Affirmative Action Opened All the Right Doors...

    6 13.64%
  • Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

    4 9.09%
  • It is extremely complex issue...

    34 77.27%
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Thread: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

  1. #111
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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainCourtesy View Post
    Perhaps my training gives me a leg up, but when a parent says something to me like, 'well you're not a parent, so what do you know', I'll often say, 'well you are and things aren't going well...don't close your mind to a suggestion.'
    ....'well you are not a licensed psychotherapist, so what do yo know' is how I would jump back, but that's me.

  2. #112
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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry View Post
    ....'well you are not a licensed psychotherapist, so what do yo know' is how I would jump back, but that's me.
    But I am.

    Jerry did you forget a 'smilie' at the end of your post.
    "Never fear. Him is here" - Captain Chaos (Dom DeLuise), Cannonball Run

    ====||:-D

    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseone View Post
    This is what I hate about politics the most, it turns people in snobbish egotistical self righteous dicks who allow their political beliefs, partisan attitudes, and 'us vs. them' mentality, to force them to deny reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Navy Pride View Post
    You can't paint everone with the same brush.......It does not work tht way.


    Quote Originally Posted by Wessexman View Post
    See with you around Captain we don't even have to make arguments, as you already know everything .
    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalThought View Post
    Had you been born elsewhere or at a different time you may very well have chosen a different belief system.
    Quote Originally Posted by ernst barkmann View Post
    It a person has faith they dont need to convince another of it, and when a non believer is not interested in listening to the word of the lord, " you shake the dust from your sandels and move on"

  3. #113
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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainCourtesy View Post
    But I am.

    Jerry did you forget a 'smilie' at the end of your post.
    It was joke, I butchered it, my bad




    Capt'n: Sup G, yo kid be spellin som wak chit dog! YaaaaMeeeeeen?!?

    Parent: You're not a parent so what to you know?

    Capt'n: You a Psychotherapist? NO you ain't. You think you all dat but if U was any good would you be sit'n in my crib, drinkin my booz askin ME what time it is? Naw you wouldn't, but here you is, so shut up let the Capt'n tell you how its goin down......yo boy, he be crazy dog.....

  4. #114
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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry View Post
    It was joke, I butchered it, my bad
    Smilies, Jerry. Always remember the smilies.



    Capt'n: Sup G, yo kid be spellin som wak chit dog! YaaaaMeeeeeen?!?

    Parent: You're not a parent so what to you know?

    Capt'n: You a Psychotherapist? NO you ain't. You think you all dat but if U was any good would you be sit'n in my crib, drinkin my booz askin ME what time it is? Naw you wouldn't, but here you is, so shut up let the Capt'n tell you how its goin down......yo boy, he be crazy dog.....
    I speak jive. Let me translate:

    CC: Hi, I've been noticing that your child has been doing some things that aren't so healthy. Allow me to help you.

    Parent: Dog?!! Don't be talking chit to me and don't be sticking your sorry self in my bidness.

    CC: Ah, but since I have training, and your methods don't seem to be working, I think i can provide some suggestions that could make things better. Your kid has some difficulties that need to be worked out.
    "Never fear. Him is here" - Captain Chaos (Dom DeLuise), Cannonball Run

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseone View Post
    This is what I hate about politics the most, it turns people in snobbish egotistical self righteous dicks who allow their political beliefs, partisan attitudes, and 'us vs. them' mentality, to force them to deny reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Navy Pride View Post
    You can't paint everone with the same brush.......It does not work tht way.


    Quote Originally Posted by Wessexman View Post
    See with you around Captain we don't even have to make arguments, as you already know everything .
    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalThought View Post
    Had you been born elsewhere or at a different time you may very well have chosen a different belief system.
    Quote Originally Posted by ernst barkmann View Post
    It a person has faith they dont need to convince another of it, and when a non believer is not interested in listening to the word of the lord, " you shake the dust from your sandels and move on"

  5. #115
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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainCourtesy View Post
    I recognize that I am entering this late, so if I am taking this out of context, forgive me. Respectfully, Bodi, I disagree. I hate hearing statements like this. I am not a parent. Yet, as an adolescent therapist, I often must help parents with ways to help parent their children. I am very good at it and use my knowledge of being parented, my knowledge of relationships between people, and my knowledge and observations of both the kid and the parents. Making suggestions is not something I take lightly. I don't adhere to the adage that if you've never walked in my shoes, you can't give me advice. Perhaps my training gives me a leg up, but when a parent says something to me like, 'well you're not a parent, so what do you know', I'll often say, 'well you are and things aren't going well...don't close your mind to a suggestion.'
    Quite right you are, Cap'n. I dealt with this (and still do, to a certain extent) with my sister in law. Heaven forbid I might actually know something that could help her, even though I did not yet have a child when her son was born....I mean, I couldn't possibly have picked up a few things from my experiences with other children. And now, it's so ingrained in her I think, that she won't take any advice because well, my kid's younger, so I couldn't possibly know anything about a 2 1/2 year old.

    Sadly, parents aren't immune to similar comments and barbs. Some of y'all have seen me mention this already, but I belong to a forum for Charlotte mommies. Recently, we had a thread started where many mothers of multiple children said they hated it when mothers of only one child offered them advice, because us mothers with one child couldn't possibly have enough experience to offer them any sort of advice. Well, sure, I can't tell anyone what it's like to have two or more kids, or even necessarily how to keep the peace amongst everyone....at least not from personal experience. But that doesn't make what I have to say any less valuable. One of us singleton moms just might have the magic suggestion, and with an attitude like that, you'd never hear it because you were too....snobby, for lack of a better word, to listen.

    *By the way, when I use "you" here, it's the collective "you", not anyone here specifically. *

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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by BodiSatva View Post
    Honestly, you are out of your field on this topic. My post speaks of general societal trends and specifically about people that are actually parents. You are not a parent so you really don't understand the first thing that parenting or having children entails. Thanks for sharing though!
    So if I can't get pregnant then I shouldn't have a say on abortion? If I've never been to Iraq or in the military I can't have a say on the war?

    I thought we moved past this line of thinking.

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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry View Post
    So if I can't get pregnant then I shouldn't have a say on abortion? If I've never been to Iraq or in the military I can't have a say on the war?

    I thought we moved past this line of thinking.
    Great points.
    "Never fear. Him is here" - Captain Chaos (Dom DeLuise), Cannonball Run

    ====||:-D

    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseone View Post
    This is what I hate about politics the most, it turns people in snobbish egotistical self righteous dicks who allow their political beliefs, partisan attitudes, and 'us vs. them' mentality, to force them to deny reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Navy Pride View Post
    You can't paint everone with the same brush.......It does not work tht way.


    Quote Originally Posted by Wessexman View Post
    See with you around Captain we don't even have to make arguments, as you already know everything .
    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalThought View Post
    Had you been born elsewhere or at a different time you may very well have chosen a different belief system.
    Quote Originally Posted by ernst barkmann View Post
    It a person has faith they dont need to convince another of it, and when a non believer is not interested in listening to the word of the lord, " you shake the dust from your sandels and move on"

  8. #118
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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Mikhail
    Another reason this may seem minor and odd but CELLPHONES cause people to cheat on each other its seems harmless enough you get someones mobile number they text you, how are you ? ,etc next thing ya know your texting them when you are upset about something. Slowly you develope a relationship just through that, how are you? becomes what you wearing? and developes from there. All im saying is there is more ways to meet people these days.
    Cellphones CAUSE people to cheat?
    My teachings are easy to understand
    and easy to put into practice.
    Yet your intellect will never grasp them,
    and if you try to practice them, you'll fail.

  9. #119
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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    Originally Posted by BodiSatva
    Honestly, you are out of your field on this topic. My post speaks of general societal trends and specifically about people that are actually parents. You are not a parent so you really don't understand the first thing that parenting or having children entails. Thanks for sharing though!
    This statement is not phrased well. I agree. To those that seem upset and or annoyed, my bad. I typed it fast and did not word it well, but the idea is not even debatable. I think that if any sane and intelligent person actually thinks about what I was trying to say, they would understand what I meant. Any reasonable person that wanted to understand what I meant, if they were confused, would just ask a clarifying question.

    I understand people like 1069 and their attitudes, she just lacks common sense. Couple that with her defensive nature and hostility...well, there you go.

    rivrrat You just don't seem that open either to be honest. You can harp on one aspect of what I said and get all upset if you like. That is your choice. I assume you are an adult... is that what you do in conversations? Pick out the one comment you don't like and get upset...or do you listen to everything that a person says and clarify certain points.

    Really? How idiotically stupid are some of you? What a ****ing joke.

    I understand as much about being a woman as a non-parent understands about being a parent. Sure, I get things like Menstral Cycles and Emotions and the Womb...but I don't really Understand what it is to be a woman...do I?

    Do you really Understand what it is to be a parent? How could you if you aren't a parent? You can't. If it is not your kid (biological or adoptive) then it just doesn't equate. I had lots of experience with kids prior to being a parent. I understand what some of you are talking about. Really.

    If you are not a parent...you think that you really know what it is like? What it entails? Get real. That is what non-parents say when they want to have a valid opinion. Their opinion is interesting but it means next to nothing. Can they help with advice and such...sure. That is a different issue though. I can help my dad with aspects of Electro Optics and Focul Planes, but I am not a Physicist and there is so much that I don't Understand about that that I simply shut my mouth and listen. Do you tell a Stock Broker at a dinner party that your opinion is valid when the subject arises since you have traded stocks a little? LOL! Give a Doctor medical advice any time soon? Yeah, parenting is a profession to a degree...Give a parent advice? They will listen..nod, and KNOW that you are just spouting **** with the hopes of sounding Intelligent just as the Doctor or Dentist or Herbalist will. That is all...

    I guess that you also Understand how it is to have a child that almost dies too...huh? Tell me what you know of that. Been to the hospital and waited...what? I am waiting...

    I have opinions about the Military. But who's is really more valid, my opinion or Caine's or GySgt's or Cherokee's opinions. Get hold of yourself people. Am I saying that people can't have opinions? If that is what you think your a fool. WE all have fields that we know... some people just can't accept that. rivrrat is one...

    Move past this type of thinking? It is a new type of thinking that has people convinced that they are experts in areas that they aren't that is the real problem. Empowering eveybody is great, if they understand limitations. IF they don't then they just become arrogant jerks. Not you...in general. This type of thinking... LOL!

    Stace, I am sure that you will agree that you gained an Understanding upon being a mother that you had no clue about prior to being a parent. It is not just the knowledge, it is the entire package that a parent cannot fully explain to one that is not. I am sure that if you think about it you will see what I mean.

    Do none of you honestly know about "Levels". Life moves and we progress through certain Understandings and Realizations. Is it just easier to Attack what you don't like? Yes. That is the challenge that we all face and those with courage enough to face what they fear and learn from it gain an Awareness that those who don't can't even fathom.
    Last edited by BodiSatva; 03-04-07 at 07:53 PM.
    My teachings are easy to understand
    and easy to put into practice.
    Yet your intellect will never grasp them,
    and if you try to practice them, you'll fail.

  10. #120
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    Re: Why does Society Hate Families? Part II

    I guess that you also Understand how it is to have a child that almost dies too...huh? Tell me what you know of that. Been to the hospital and waited...what? I am waiting...
    I do.
    And although I've had nearly a decade and a half to absorb and assimilate the "lesson", I cannot for the life of me tell you what it was supposed to have taught me.
    Has it made me a better parent to my now-fully-recovered child?
    Not really. It made me overprotective and overbearing to the point that he had no choice but to rebel, no choice but to become deceitful and sneaky, since I allowed him no breathing room.
    The lesson I am now learning- being forced to learn- is how to let go.
    All parents have to learn it eventually; parents of a child who was once critically ill no doubt have a harder time with it than most.
    I look at my six-foot-tall son, a boy in a man's body, and I see a critically ill infant who will die without my constant, 24-hour vigilance, and might die even with it.
    This infuriates him. He doesn't remember being that baby, of course, and he doesn't want to be constantly associated with it. He doesn't remember ever being anything but tough and strong and healthy, and he doesn't want any reminders that he was ever fragile and desperately ill. He doesn't want or need my constant vigilance, my protection. He wants to be acknowledged and respected as the independent near-adult that he is. His previous health problems make this difficult for me.

    But there's nothing I learned from this experience that would necessarily be applicable or useful to another parent of a critically ill child.
    There's no secret knowledge that only you and I- as parents of critically ill children- are privy to. We have little in common, and we don't seem to agree on much. Going through similar experiences apparently left us with entirely different viewpoints.

    It's that way with everything; everything in life.
    My experiences are not applicable to anyone but me, and neither are anyone else's. And two people can go through the exact same experience, and learn two totally different lessons from it.

    I, for instance, have never considered parenting either a "job" or a "profession", and I already stated that on another thread. It's life. It's not "a profession" (which would indicate that you could stop doing it at some point).
    It's no more a profession than being female or having brown hair is a "profession". It's who and what I am. It's not a job- it's my life. Being a parent is not a job, either. It's who and what I am.
    I understand how it may seem like a "job" to new parents, to parents whose children are still infants... but that's because they do not yet realize how long forever is.
    I don't think, in a decade or two, they will still think of parenting the same way (although i could be wrong).

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