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Bullying...

How are we doing at addressing bullying?

  • We're not doing enough.

    Votes: 26 43.3%

  • We're right on track and taking appropriate measures.

    Votes: 7 11.7%

  • We're blowing it way out of proportion.

    Votes: 20 33.3%

  • Other.

    Votes: 7 11.7%
  • Total voters
    60
Well, this turned out to be an interesting thread. How many people here weren't physically bullied, but were otherwise?
 
There's a difference between bullying and teasing, first of all, the line can be very vague and subjective. What I feel might not be what you meant, and while we both share some culpability in that, the onus is still on me to bounce back from the disappointment of someone not respecting me.

When bullying becomes criminal (assault, vandalism, to saying nothing of worse things)...well....then it's a crime. Prosecute it as such.
 
TheGirlNextDoor said:
Well, this turned out to be an interesting thread. How many people here weren't physically bullied, but were otherwise?
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I was only physically bullied that one time I discussed earlier and never emotionally. Or, if anyone attempted to bully me emotionally, I didn't recognize it as such and just didn't care.
 
Cephus said:
If a person thinks they have a sufficient reason to kill themselves, even if you disagree with those reasons, what business is it of yours to step in and stop them?
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Where are you getting this assumption from? Man, three total misunderstandings and assumptions in just a few posts... having a bad day?
 
Cephus said:
I was only physically bullied that one time I discussed earlier and never emotionally. Or, if anyone attempted to bully me emotionally, I didn't recognize it as such and just didn't care.
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I was rarely picked on physically, but verbally...I took a beating in my elementary and junior high days. By the time high school rolled around, it had pretty much stopped. I will say that toward the end of junior high, I started putting fist to loud mouths and I suspect that's why it stopped.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Where are you getting this assumption from? Man, three total misunderstandings and assumptions in just a few posts... having a bad day?
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I'm not assuming anything, I said even *IF* you disagree. I didn't say you disagreed, I said *IF* you disagreed. Maybe you're the one who is having a bad day with reading comprehension.
 
TheGirlNextDoor said:
I was rarely picked on physically, but verbally...I took a beating in my elementary and junior high days. By the time high school rolled around, it had pretty much stopped. I will say that toward the end of junior high, I started putting fist to loud mouths and I suspect that's why it stopped.
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So you solved your own problems. Good for you. You should be proud of yourself.
 
I was never actually bullied physically... my friends and I were/are so damn sarcastic that I am sure that I was bullied by some but I thought it was a game and played with it. So I would say I was never bullied or at least didn't recognize it if it did happen.

Oh, I had a teacher tease me in first grade. I had ADHA and he would tower over me tease me about being hyperactive. Mad my little self sad. When I was 17 or so I saw him for the first time since that grade in the store. I walked over to him, looked down (turns out he was about 5'3" and I was now 6'2" and very athletic) asked him if he remembered me. He didn't. I told him how he used to make me cry and how he would laugh. He started looking really nervous. I asked him really calmly if he thought that it was funny now. He timidly shook his head and looked like he was going to pee himself. I smiled, told him that I didn't think so. Told him to have a nice day too. Went back to our line and high fived my mom. (I am a good kid). Good story if I do say so myself. :)
 
Cephus said:
So you solved your own problems. Good for you. You should be proud of yourself.
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I did, only after I was told there "wasn't anything that could be done" about bring picked on incessantly. I figured, I didn't care if I got into trouble at that point. I felt I had to send a message, so to speak.
 
Cephus said:
I'm not assuming anything, I said even *IF* you disagree. I didn't say you disagreed, I said *IF* you disagreed. Maybe you're the one who is having a bad day with reading comprehension.
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I just said that I think that they should be allowed to kill themselves... you then ask me, "what business is it of yours to step in and stop them?" Why are you asking me that then?
 
TheGirlNextDoor said:
I did, only after I was told there "wasn't anything that could be done" about bring picked on incessantly. I figured, I didn't care if I got into trouble at that point. I felt I had to send a message, so to speak.
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That tends to work better than waiting for authority figures to get off their asses and do something about it. Solving your own problems works better than hiding behind the skirt of someone bigger.
 
Bodhisattva said:
I just said that I think that they should be allowed to kill themselves... you then ask me, "what business is it of yours to step in and stop them?" Why are you asking me that then?
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You're the one arguing that there's something wrong with them if they want to kill themselves. I said that there isn't necessarily something wrong with them and assuming that deciding on suicide, in and of itself, is enough to conclude some mental or emotional aberration, is an irrational position to take.
 
radcen said:
I'm going to whip out an old cliche for this one, but "zero tolerance" equals zero thinking. If the bullied kid does defend them self, they get in trouble also. This sends the clear message to the kid that they were wrong to try and end the bullying, and should have let it continue.

Sure, the official response would be, "You should have reported it and let the proper authorities deal with it.". Yeah, that works. :roll: What that means is that they will claim there's nothing they can do because they have no evidence and haven't witnessed it themselves. Something that the bullying victim has probably heard too many times already.

IMO, "zero tolerance" is excuse to NOT deal with the issue.
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When I was in junior high, another kid was taunting me about something, I don't remember what. I told the coach, it was at PE, and he did nothing so the next time we got into it.

We were both called into the office and I told the vice-principal that I told and they had their chance to stop it, they didn't so I did.

We were both told to go back to class and I never Heard anything else about it.

I also didn't have any problems with the kid again.

I don't mean we had a knock down drag out fight, he got hit a few times and we were caught.

The authorities have one shot to take care of the problem, if they don't you have every right to defend yourself, no matter the rules.

You have to ask them if they think it is OK to get beat upon over and over again. Is that what the rules are for?
 
Mason66 said:
When I was in junior high, another kid was taunting me about something, I don't remember what. I told the coach, it was at PE, and he did nothing so the next time we got into it.

We were both called into the office and I told the vice-principal that I told and they had their chance to stop it, they didn't so I did.

We were both told to go back to class and I never Heard anything else about it.

I also didn't have any problems with the kid again.

I don't mean we had a knock down drag out fight, he got hit a few times and we were caught.

The authorities have one shot to take care of the problem, if they don't you have every right to defend yourself, no matter the rules.

You have to ask them if they think it is OK to get beat upon over and over again. Is that what the rules are for?
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I've always told my kids that I would never be upset with them for defending themselves. I don't expect anyone to take a beating physically or verbally and not defend themselves.
 
Nynaeve Meara said:
Umm, I don't think any human is fragile as a crystal unless you are talking about Sam Jackson in Unbreakable. However; there is no reason to allow continuous bullying like what has been in the news recently. It has nothing to do with fragile humans and more to do with poor protections from said bullying.

There is still no reason not to confront the bully and no violence need be involved.

I'd rather never see it personally.

I am surprised you'd support it.
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There are millions of children in the country.

How many does a situation like this affect? I mean the severe bullying that causes a person to kill themselves.

I would says it is a tiny tiny number, so why get so upset about so few cases?
 
TheGirlNextDoor said:
I've always told my kids that I would never be upset with them for defending themselves. I don't expect anyone to take a beating physically or verbally and not defend themselves.
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I always told my kids that, and one time had to back it up. As long as they didn't start it, they would still have to take whatever the school issued as punishment, but they wouldn't be in trouble at home.
 
radcen said:
I'm going to whip out an old cliche for this one, but "zero tolerance" equals zero thinking. If the bullied kid does defend them self, they get in trouble also. This sends the clear message to the kid that they were wrong to try and end the bullying, and should have let it continue.

Sure, the official response would be, "You should have reported it and let the proper authorities deal with it.". Yeah, that works. :roll: What that means is that they will claim there's nothing they can do because they have no evidence and haven't witnessed it themselves. Something that the bullying victim has probably heard too many times already.

IMO, "zero tolerance" is excuse to NOT deal with the issue.
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don't misunderstand, I didn't say I approved of zero-tolerance policies. I don't. I don't think ANYONE should ever be required to be someone else's doormat just to stay out of trouble.

I'm just saying that is the lay of the land and you have to deal with the way it is today, not the way it was in my day.

Basically I told my son, well I told him a lot of things and I got involved in some cases, but three things I told him:

1. It is okay to defend yourself against physical assault. If someone lays unwelcome hands on you, or draws back a fist and steps up like they're gonna use it, do what you have to do and I will back you up 100%.

2. If someone is running their mouth, just tell them "talk is cheap" and try hard to ignore them thereafter. Trolls tend to go away if you don't feed them.

3. If you just can't STAND it anymore... tell me, and we'll figure out something together.
 
Gipper said:
Not the same. When someone is assaulted, there needs to be intervention. Getting your ass kicked, pushed down a flight of stairs, etc. need to be addressed regardless of circumstances. What I'm saying is that we don't need legislature that's going to criminalize the quarterback knocking your trapper keeper out of your hands in the hall, or having a mean name written on a piece of paper and put on your locker. There are people out there that think we need to call a cop if you get hit with Jello from across the lunch hall.
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That would be assault.

Jello is fattening.
 
Mason66 said:
When I was in junior high, another kid was taunting me about something, I don't remember what. I told the coach, it was at PE, and he did nothing so the next time we got into it.

We were both called into the office and I told the vice-principal that I told and they had their chance to stop it, they didn't so I did.

We were both told to go back to class and I never Heard anything else about it.

I also didn't have any problems with the kid again.

I don't mean we had a knock down drag out fight, he got hit a few times and we were caught.

The authorities have one shot to take care of the problem, if they don't you have every right to defend yourself, no matter the rules.

You have to ask them if they think it is OK to get beat upon over and over again. Is that what the rules are for?
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Sounds typical, proportional, and expected to me. Situation arises, situation is dealt with, situation goes away. And the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round.
 
Goshin said:
don't misunderstand, I didn't say I approved of zero-tolerance policies. I don't. I don't think ANYONE should ever be required to be someone else's doormat just to stay out of trouble.

I'm just saying that is the lay of the land and you have to deal with the way it is today, not the way it was in my day.

Basically I told my son, well I told him a lot of things and I got involved in some cases, but two things I told him:

1. It is okay to defend yourself against physical assault. If someone lays unwelcome hands on you, or draws back a fist and steps up like they're gonna use it, do what you have to do and I will back you up 100%.

2. If someone is running their mouth, just tell them "talk is cheap" and try hard to ignore them thereafter. Trolls tend to go away if you don't feed them.

3. If you just can't STAND it anymore... tell me, and we'll figure out something together.
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I didn't mean to imply you were giving your thoughts on zero tolerance, though I can see where you might think I was. I was merely addressing the concept of zero tolerance as a concept. Sorry for the confusion.
 
Gipper said:
Jello has like 10 freakin' calories. Nobody's gonna go fatty on Jello.
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Oh, I don't know. I have an aunt that loves jello.

She's quite rotund.

Jus' sayin'.
 
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