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Bullying...

How are we doing at addressing bullying?

  • We're not doing enough.

    Votes: 26 43.3%
  • We're right on track and taking appropriate measures.

    Votes: 7 11.7%
  • We're blowing it way out of proportion.

    Votes: 20 33.3%
  • Other.

    Votes: 7 11.7%

  • Total voters
    60
Has anybody seen some of the Maury Povich shows where he reunites bullies with the people that were bullied?

Yes when they were kids they suffered some pain, most of which was mental, but they bettered their lives because of it.

What would have happened to those people if they were not bullied?


Did you just cite "Maury Povich" as a reference? Dude that's rich, citing a show that is all about escalating faux issues and completely unreal confrontations. LOL Maybe not the best example to use in this instance, ya think? ;)
 
They could, if they had parents who didn't cede parenting to the TV and internet. Any child traumatized by cyber-bullying need only cease to log onto the internet - it soon goes away when the intended audience isn't listening/viewing.

I used to think that, too, John, but it's not that easy. When I was a kid, if there was a kid that was bullied, he was bullied by a handful of people, usually, and that was it. Now, it doesn't matter if a girl turns off her computer or not - the same viciousness and hatefulness is going on whether she's there to see it or not.

One cell phone camera + Facebook could potentially = destruction in a teenage girl's life. Girls are so mean, anyway. It's more girls than boys now. I have a very good friend whose daughter was being mercilessly bullied, because they didn't have a lot of money. They picked on her because of her phone. It was an older trac phone that her Dad gave to her, and put minutes on there so she could be like the other kids and have a cell phone. Thing was, the bitches at her school still made fun of her because it wasn't an iPhone. And it's not just going on in the halls at school. It happens online, with increasing frequency, and it gets spread until it goes viral in the school. Then, no matter if she was watching it happen online or not, the bullying gets worse in school, because she's being called names, laughed at, etc.

It's not just as easy as walking away. I always thought the same thing, but I was wrong.
 
Has anybody seen some of the Maury Povich shows where he reunites bullies with the people that were bullied?

Yes when they were kids they suffered some pain, most of which was mental, but they bettered their lives because of it.

What would have happened to those people if they were not bullied?

Bullying is bad for your health: Victims of playground taunts are six times more likely to develop a serious illness in later life | Mail Online

The above study may not be definitive, but I think it's a better source of outcomes than Maury Povich.
 
While this solves the problem for the school, this does nothing to punish the attacker.

With physical attacks the attacker should be referred to the pólice for charges. With mental attacks, well they have no power intil the attackee gives them power.

I can't remember one day in high school worring about what anybody thought of me. I think that is an important lesson to teach especially girls these days. Thier life does not end if they are not the most popular girl in school, after all high school is temporary and it should have no effect a what somebody does afterwards. Heck, high school is the easiest part of life compared to working a real job.

funny, when I look back on HS, most of the "popular" kids peaked in HS. many of the "cool kids" from my class are either dead (drug/alcohol abuse) or in jail. Those of us who were the "nerds" are the ones who went to college and actually had successful "post-HS" lives. The "hot chicks" that all the girls wanted to be and all the guys wanted to be with..... one of them is a 300+ pounder living in a trailer park, another has been married 6-7 times, another died from skin cancer in her late 30s due to excessive tanning, etc, etc, etc. The kool guys.... one of them just got out of prison for the 3rd or 4th time for drugs, one of them was shot and killed when he was caught porking another man's wife, one of them is still in prison for killing the guy he caught porking his wife, one of them is still driving a delivery truck for a bread company making barely over minmum wage.

meanwhile, the skinny girl with glasses has been a successful lawyer in Atlanta for the last 25 years, the chubby guy with the bad haircut has owned his own construction company for 30 years, the fat black girl is a college professor, the hairy guy with big feet is the VP in charge of marketing at a major polymer manufacturer and the skinny, nerdy "star trek" geek (me) is a highly decorated combat veteran and a freakin rocket scientist.

theme song for all the HS bigshots and bullies:

Now I think I'm going down to the well tonight
and I'm going to drink till I get my fill
And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it
but I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
a little of the glory of, well time slips away
and leaves you with nothing mister but
boring stories of glory days


;)
 
I used to think that, too, John, but it's not that easy. When I was a kid, if there was a kid that was bullied, he was bullied by a handful of people, usually, and that was it. Now, it doesn't matter if a girl turns off her computer or not - the same viciousness and hatefulness is going on whether she's there to see it or not.

One cell phone camera + Facebook could potentially = destruction in a teenage girl's life. Girls are so mean, anyway. It's more girls than boys now. I have a very good friend whose daughter was being mercilessly bullied, because they didn't have a lot of money. They picked on her because of her phone. It was an older trac phone that her Dad gave to her, and put minutes on there so she could be like the other kids and have a cell phone. Thing was, the bitches at her school still made fun of her because it wasn't an iPhone. And it's not just going on in the halls at school. It happens online, with increasing frequency, and it gets spread until it goes viral in the school. Then, no matter if she was watching it happen online or not, the bullying gets worse in school, because she's being called names, laughed at, etc.

It's not just as easy as walking away. I always thought the same thing, but I was wrong.

I appreciate what your saying - my reference was to the issue of a supportive family and far too many young people today don't have supportive families to help take away some of the stress.

As for girls, they haven't been all "sugar and spice" since I don't know when - you're bang on about the viciousness of some "little" girls.
 
In case you have not noticed, the Anti-Bullying campaign is a pro-gay rights campaign in disguise. Every now and then they will throw in a non-white face to make it seem like it isn't what it is, but in the end, that is all it is.
I'm confused, are only white kids gay?
 
I wish I could go back into my childhood and be a kinder, gentler child.

I never was a "bully." I always felt compassion towards the weaker people and made honest attempts to include them in my social circle and lift them up emotionally.

Now, keep in mind, I was raised in Texas and I am talking about circa 1970-1976. I was a student who's hair was a bit long and my preference of music was always rock and roll. My neighborhood was diverse with many races living peacefully among each other. The biggest problem we had back then, bully-wise, was the white kids who wore their cowboy hats and boots to school, hated hippies and blacks and loved their dipping tobacco and country music. They were quick to bully anyone different from them. Fortunately, I was 6' 0" from the 10th grade on and was a pretty big kid. I also had studied martial arts since the sixth grade.

I never looked for trouble but I must admit, nothing gave me more pleasure than to beat the living **** out of these goat ropers who used to come around harassing and bullying my friends. Eventually, the word got out and they left me alone, personally. But they would still bully those who appeared different and weaker than them. They might have well been bullying me because I took that personal too. That one day in April, 1975, when the meanest, baddest, bull riding senior in the FFA decided to "meet" me behind the gym to set this hippy straight, resulted in him getting two teeth knocked out and a broken rib. I didn't get a scratch. Even though there were a dozen witnesses who told the principal, Mr. Urban, that the goat roper started the fight and threw the first punch, (which missed by a mile,) I was still diciplined for fighting. You see, Mr. Urban also wore boots and a high and tight hair style. It HAD to piss him off that his star goat roper just got his ass kicked by a hippy.

Ahh, to be young again.
 
If that is true, the question is why. Why is something that happened during the school years affecting a person years later?

probably because no one ever told them to stand up to their bully and it has bothered them for all their life.
 
I'm confused, are only white kids gay?

of course, black kids aren't "gay"....they're on the down-low ;) serious, it has been my experience that many blacks are not as accepting of homosexuality as are whites.
 
Has anybody seen some of the Maury Povich shows where he reunites bullies with the people that were bullied?

Yes when they were kids they suffered some pain, most of which was mental, but they bettered their lives because of it.

What would have happened to those people if they were not bullied?

I would say they might end up better than what they ended up with.
 
probably because no one ever told them to stand up to their bully and it has bothered them for all their life.

Maybe that is true but I always saw school as something I had to get done before my life really started, so nothing that happened there was of importance to me.
 
Maybe that is true but I always saw school as something I had to get done before my life really started, so nothing that happened there was of importance to me.

good friend of mine's senior quote was "All I ever wanted to get out of school was myself" ;)

bolded: my thoughts exactly.
 
I'm confused, are only white kids gay?

Yep. Black kids get the gay beat out of them at home since medicaid doesn't cover conversion therapy :shock:
 
I think we're on track and taking many of the right measures. When I was in high school (not all that long ago, but I guess a decade is a good chunk of time) the only thing to stop bullies was a video we watched about a kid who killed himself because he was bullied. It helped for about a week and then everybody forgot about it. The problem wasn't just that kids were bullied, it was that those who were neither bullies nor the bullied made no attempt to help the situation. They'd just jump on the pile and make fun of the weak, the underprivileged, the different, even the deaf -- seriously, the deaf. The natural urge is to make fun of the people everybody else is making fun of to divert attention away from yourself, who could be next.

With the numerous campaigns that exist today, I think we're headed in the right direction. Many schools have more comprehensive anti-bullying programs than they did 10 years ago, and more importantly, the students are exposed to media campaigns and documentaries, which really does help IMHO. I don't think you can ever stop the bullies from bullying. But I think you can persuade the rest of the student body to be civil toward students who are bullied. Years after high school I wrote to the students I felt were bullied and apologized to them for what they went through and for not doing more to be kind to them. I was surprised when told that I was the only person who bothered to do this. My advice to anybody in their 20s: do what I did. You could really help somebody who may still be recovering from the trauma that was the first 18 years of their life.
 
Understandable. But there are lots of ways that kids are bullied that go above and beyond, "Sally said I'm a fatty," or anything like that. Internet bullying is really a problem - much moreso than I though until I watched this movie with my girls about cyberbullying. I was always like, "Oh just get up and walk away from the computer if it's that bad," but that was a very simplistic way to look at it. It's more than that. Computers are encompassed in kids lives these days (most of them, anyway) and bullying online is even more harsh than in person. We all know from experience that people are nastier online, and would say much worse things online, than in person. That kind of thing can be stopped, and should be stopped, but usually it's not, until it's too late.

You have to be the stupidest type of person to cyber-bully. Bullies get away with what they do because nobody else knows about it, or cares.

Everything a cyber-bully does is documented and can be used to stop that person right away.
 
I suspect that the cyber aspect is what has caused the issue to increase. Back in the day, at least you could go home and be with your own family and escape the onslaught for awhile. Now, kids can't even do that.

Really? Can the computer or phone not be turned off?
 
You think so? When I was a freshman in high school there was a girl this one guy liked, but she liked me and it pissed him off. He (let's call him E) had this buddy (MM) who was like a hulk compared to the rest of us kids, weighed like 180 lbs and could bench press 200. Real musclebound but not too smart, so E decided to have MM deal with me by having him pick a fight with me in the boys locker room during gym class. I weighed like 120 lbs, just a regular kid, and kept telling him I didn't want to when he sucker punched me.

So I fought back...in front of my whole gym class. I got a couple of good licks in at first but hardly fazed him. The kids watching started by making fun of me (you know, sucking up to the bigger guy), but then they started getting quiet, and then started telling me to stay down and telling MM to stop. MM must have knocked me down about eight times before a teacher got there. But I never stayed down. I just kept getting up.

Ther principal suspended us both for a week. But after that day NO ONE in school ever messed with me again, including MM. Sometimes violence DOES solved the problem.

I wouldn't consider that violence, that was defense.
 

Though I highly doubt what I went through in school caused my 'illness' that landed at age 45, a lot has to do with how one deals with the event of 'bullying'.

As with many things, we make a choice along the way to either let it be the life-long reason we blame every failure on, or we take it and use it as a learning step to make sure it doesn't happen again to us, and help prevent it happening to others.

Too much of society today leans to victimhood, being thin-skinned and everything not of their norm is offensive. We, as a society, have allowed that state to grow to such a degree that people don't (both children and adults) know how to deal with anything contrary to their narrow tunnel through life.

My opinion, 2.5 cents.
 
If I'm reading your posts correctly, you're pretty much an absolutist on this issue... non-violence is always the answer.

Am I correct, or do you allow for some exceptions?
There are a few exceptions that I'd allow, mostly when your life is in danger, which should almost never happen.

Not sure how connected you are with reality. School officials dont stop it even when it is drawn to their attention. In your 'perfect world' we wouldnt need law enforcement and jails either. Im sure it is a wonderful place and you go there often. In your mind.
Of course we wouldn't, but the world isn't perfect and most violence is solvable. There will always be exceptions but there is no reason to stop striving towards that now. Adding violence to a problem doesn't solve it especially when dealing with children/teens. Look at abusive homes as to why.

You have to be the stupidest type of person to cyber-bully. Bullies get away with what they do because nobody else knows about it, or cares.

Everything a cyber-bully does is documented and can be used to stop that person right away.
It also works the best, because the internet is forever. So even if its stopped, it will always be online to be viewed at one time or another. Look at the Star Wars kid or Numa Numa dance as prime examples of cyber bullying.
 
I think we're on track and taking many of the right measures. When I was in high school (not all that long ago, but I guess a decade is a good chunk of time) the only thing to stop bullies was a video we watched about a kid who killed himself because he was bullied. It helped for about a week and then everybody forgot about it. The problem wasn't just that kids were bullied, it was that those who were neither bullies nor the bullied made no attempt to help the situation. They'd just jump on the pile and make fun of the weak, the underprivileged, the different, even the deaf -- seriously, the deaf. The natural urge is to make fun of the people everybody else is making fun of to divert attention away from yourself, who could be next.

With the numerous campaigns that exist today, I think we're headed in the right direction. Many schools have more comprehensive anti-bullying programs than they did 10 years ago, and more importantly, the students are exposed to media campaigns and documentaries, which really does help IMHO. I don't think you can ever stop the bullies from bullying. But I think you can persuade the rest of the student body to be civil toward students who are bullied. Years after high school I wrote to the students I felt were bullied and apologized to them for what they went through and for not doing more to be kind to them. I was surprised when told that I was the only person who bothered to do this. My advice to anybody in their 20s: do what I did. You could really help somebody who may still be recovering from the trauma that was the first 18 years of their life.

I did something like that to a person I met on FaceBook recently. Back in elementary school, me and some of the other boys picked on her. Said she had 'cooties." Called her Boogernose. Well, that bothered me all my life, since. I found her on FaceBook and made all apologies. She was very forgiving about it. She said, "Don't let that bother you. We were just kids."

I'm not so sure if me reaching out to her helped her emotionally as much as it did me.
 
You need to realize that being "civilized" is a veneer covering a very brutal creature, we humans. It is learned behavior and it doesn't take much to strip it away either. As for violence? 20 or 30 years ago it was frowned upon too, or did you miss the part of my being suspended from school for a week simply for defending myself?

IMO your worldview is very naive, and based on limited experience in real world situations.

I think things are much more violent today.

30 years ago it was two guys fighting after school, now it is one guy and all his friends with guns and knives against that one guy.

I don't remember weapons being such a concern back then in school.
 
I did something like that to a person I met on FaceBook recently. Back in elementary school, me and some of the other boys picked on her. Said she had 'cooties." Called her Boogernose. Well, that bothered me all my life, since. I found her on FaceBook and made all apologies. She was very forgiving about it. She said, "Don't let that bother you. We were just kids."

I'm not so sure if me reaching out to her helped her emotionally as much as it did me.

Well, you had the right idea. That's good. The person who was the most emotional about my apology to him was partially deaf and was made fun of for it every day. A bunch of kids broke his hearing aid and had no remorse. It was pretty evil stuff. He had been in therapy for years when I contacted him and said that it could really make a difference since I was the first person to ever apologize to him. He was made fun of for a disability. Mind blowing.
 
When I was in elementary school a bunch of boys were making fun of the girl that developed first. I joined in to say oine thing and whenI saw the hurt in her eyes, I felt horrible.

I never made fun of anybody again. It didn't make sense to me.
 
I think things are much more violent today.

30 years ago it was two guys fighting after school, now it is one guy and all his friends with guns and knives against that one guy.

I don't remember weapons being such a concern back then in school.
I'm going to disagree, things were just a violent if not more so but today there is much easier access to weapons than before. Which makes the violence that much more disheartening as its much easier to take a life.
 
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